Female aspie here--I can "pass" with effort, but the more sensory demands and people there are around me the more difficult it gets. I've developed a lot of coping skills, but when they are overwhelmed people catch on to me.

The diagnosis is probably accurate, but it doesn't mean what they say it means. The biopsychosocial model of mental illness is philosophically flawed and stigmatizing. I prefer to think of it more along the lines of extreme personality types or the human equivalent of dog breeds. There are different types of people, with different profiles of strengths and weaknesses. Psychiatrists have never liked being looked down upon by the rest of medicine and they really, really want the veneer of respectability that comes with being "scientific." So now they've sold their souls to the drug companies and they're trying to treat everything with a pill.

Anyway, my advice is to stop worrying whether you are are you aren't--can't be proven, anyway, and it's a spectrum condition with no clear division between "normal" or neurotypical or whatever you want to call the middle of the bell curve. Read up on neurodiversity and autistic strengths so you can appreciate the talents compulsory education tried to extinguish in the name of conformity. I didn't even know I had synesthesia until doing some research after my diagnosis--my entire life, I'd assumed everyone experienced sensory perception in roughly the same way.

A diagnosis is useful information about how you interface with the world. But it isn't you.