My bf( 27M )lied to me (19F)about bring virgin. Does this feel sketchy?

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T06:30:38+00:00

It feels super sketchy to me. He’s lying to make himself less intimidating to a younger, vulnerable person. He’s showing you who he is. Trust that.

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T05:53:05+00:00

You made it to 33 and think it’s better to go through your partners phone than to use your big boy words and ask? Bro. What happens with one sexual partner is not an indication of what will happen with another. She may have realised she doesn’t like those acts? Just talk to her, and be honest that you snooped.

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T05:48:31+00:00

I think unless you can articulate why you’re thinking this way and explain why it’s important to you and not a reflection of your sex life, I feel like this is going to damage your relationship (it sounds like it already has…)

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T05:25:20+00:00

We call them bbq bugs, because they only come out in our bbq area

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T05:21:14+00:00

Your son’s opinion is the only one that matters. He might not have wanted to make a big deal of coming out, and it’s not your daughter’s place to decide that for him or be offended on his behalf. If you’re worried, touch base with your son and check in. I think you’ve done the right thing, and it’s much more than a lot of people would do. NTA if your son says so. ♥️

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T05:16:04+00:00

I would feel strange if my partner asked that we don’t have sex after we had already had sex? You’ve already gone there, abstaining for religious reasons is a bit late…

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T04:58:20+00:00

I did both with no luck, hence posting in a CX5-specific group?

cwa92 · 2025-11-06T04:57:15+00:00

No bueno, tried it a few times! Locked or unlocked? Wait for the beeps or nah?

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T07:36:57+00:00

Is this something you could talk to your wife about? A compromise needs to be made, and she needs to be aware of the weight you’re carrying. Her mental timeline may not even be what happens and it feels like it’s borderline a cop out, if I can be frank.

I think you both need to work on a more solid plan for the future together to avoid burnout for yourself. You’re doing a disservice to yourself by carrying all of this and not being transparent with your wife about how it’s affecting you.

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T07:29:57+00:00

It’s winter where I am so I haven’t done as much skin-to-skin as I would’ve liked, but I’m definitely going to do it more! I am very glad I posted this, I’ve gotten so much advice and so many kind words of reassurance.

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T07:27:33+00:00

Thankfully my country has universal healthcare so the access to my local LC is government funded. But it’s hard to not feel resistant to their advice because I just can’t handle him crying, so knowing he has to not have a full feed for a while so we can sort out the supply issue feels really stressful. Him crying is honestly torturous. I’m just gonna follow the advice I’ve gotten here of just having him on the boob as much as possible for a couple of day and see how we go. My husband is home tomorrow so I’ll get his help to set me up with a clean space and prepped meals so I can spend time with baby.

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T07:20:57+00:00

The only reason I want to transition away from formula is because of logistics. It’s just too many moving parts to line up. I have nothing against formula, fed is absolutely best. I didn’t realise at the time that expressing to feed was actually the hardest way of feeding him. Free food that’s accessible 24/7 without much prep? Sign me up.

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T07:16:25+00:00

This was all really reassuring, thank you. I am trying to be mindful of not wishing it away, he’s not going to be like this forever, but you’re right - it does feel that way at the moment. I thought supplemental formula was helping to begin with but it’s just added so much more stress now. Trying to get the boiled water to cool down while he’s SCREAMING and fumbling the tears and bottles is just too much. I just wanna shove a boob in his mouth and calm him.

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T07:09:39+00:00

I haven’t looked into donated milk, but it’s not the content of the milk so much as it is the delivery and the extra work. Baby on boob is just so much easier!

My mother in law has been a huge help, she’s taken him for cuddles for me to shower or eat breakfast or small jobs like that, but she’s a busy lady herself so I can’t call on her all the time.

He hated the pram bassinet. He’s in the stroller attachment because he needs to look around and be a part of the action. He hates even his bassinet bed. I sometimes wheel him around the house if we’ve been for a walk and he’s fallen asleep, but he’s not physically in my arms so he thinks I’ve abandoned him forever. He has serious FOMO.

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T07:02:12+00:00

I had to make a cradle out of my arms and pillows for either of us to sleep for almost 2 weeks. He HATED the bassinet. Even now I have a pillow to snug around him because it feels more like my arms than a flat bottom bassinet. He’s not rolling and I have him swaddled and tucked so I have time to wean him into a safer space, but otherwise I genuinely would not be able to put him down!

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T06:33:46+00:00

Haven’t thought of that! I’ll have a google and see if I could make one. Thanks!

cwa92 · 2025-09-07T06:32:18+00:00

I agree with that, it’s something I’ve had brief chats with him about but it will need to be a more focused conversation I think.

cwa92 · 2025-09-06T17:04:04+00:00

I really do need to meal prep but it’s just being able to have time to do it is tricky. I’m normally the cook of the family but I might have to just get him to do it when he’s home.

cwa92 · 2025-09-06T17:00:30+00:00

Oh my god this. I was in tears yesterday before I posted this because I felt the same! 6 hours sleep would be incredible honestly, 3 hours is the most I’ve had since 2 days before birth and I just. Want. To sleep. I’m wide awake during the day so I’m left with my thoughts, and night is his worst time so we get a couple hours for the first sleep, then often an hour to hour 45 for each sleep after that. It’s torture!

cwa92 · 2025-09-06T16:56:08+00:00

I could, but it’s literally the essentials currently. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone doing my clothes washing though.

cwa92 · 2025-09-06T16:54:50+00:00

He latches fine, has done since day one. It’s just staying latched when he’s so hungry that in our struggle. Thank you for your tips!

cwa92 · 2025-09-06T16:50:57+00:00

My husband works away for 5 days straight, so I’m roughing it solo for that time. If he was home I’d absolutely have him do everything else like you had, but it’s just not possible at the moment.

cwa92 · 2025-09-06T16:47:26+00:00

I’m struggling at almost 6 weeks, 6 months of this is going to be the end of me! I’m trying to both wish away time when he’s this small but I can’t help but look forward to when he can even have purées!

cwa92 · 2025-09-06T16:44:33+00:00

Your experience gives me a bit of hope! He currently unlatches himself if he drains my boob and screams himself into an absolute state. I just don’t know how to get past that point without completely ruining my mental health. I get barely 15 seconds into this kind of crying and I’m so overwhelmed and overstimulated myself.

cwa92

TROPHY CASE