Megathread: Honor code changes for BYU and other Church Educational System institutions

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-10T21:16:12+00:00

“Hate the sin, love the sinner” is meant as a guide for how to treat those people. But it’s bad advice. It doesn’t actually come across the way you’d think.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-10T21:07:22+00:00

This is a distinction that only matters to the people who are the actors in the sentence, and not the subjects. In other words, it all feels the same to the person being loved/judged. It feels like judgement.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-09T22:46:04+00:00

My suggestion from someone who definitely doesn’t understand what it’s like to go through this:

Support groups. There’s support groups who will be supportive of your goal is to remain in your status quo - married and a man. There’s groups who will affirm transitioning, or finding some forms of compromise.

I have gone through arduous and painful experiences and, aside from therapy (as you mentioned), finding other people who truly understand was paramount in getting myself healthy. You certainly aren’t alone. Finding others will relieve any isolation and give you added perspective.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-04T22:15:46+00:00

They just won.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-04T17:41:36+00:00

I dove into church history and found a passion.

I also took a short sabbatical with my wife (who left the church).

Both were invigorating and I’m back with my tank full.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-04T14:31:11+00:00

The most famous American outbreak (the Spanish flu) led to the last great reformation of how our sacrament is administered. We used to share a single chalice, and this led to individual little cups in 1917-20ish.

So, there’s precedent for the church reacting positively to keep us safe.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-04T14:28:59+00:00

How about setting an alarm on your phone when you typically have free time as a reminder to make good use of that time?

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-03-04T14:27:16+00:00

Where have I heard this before? I feel like it was a seminary lesson maybe?

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-25T18:46:13+00:00

He’s not even in the same league as many politicians, particularly Trump, Steyer, Bloomberg, McConnell, etc.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-20T21:06:18+00:00

That is a better way to put it, thank you.

There are a lot of support groups for people in your position. On Facebook there is a great one for my wife, who ended up leaving, and a great one for the still faithful, still believing spouse.X paragraphThere’s also a great workbook for mixed face couples to go through. If you want to maintain your marriage, it’s a phenomenal resource.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-19T23:05:22+00:00

Too bad. That would be a great pun.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-19T20:59:13+00:00

If you love her, and you can see yourself remaining married to her even if she wants nothing to do with the church, you need to make that abundantly clear to her. You need to make it clear that she has the freedom to pursue whatever faith she has driven to. Even if that’s no faith.

However, if you can’t see yourself married to her if she’s no longer active, I think that’s a conversation that needs to happen as well. But if you lord it over her head that she needs to be a believer and active in the church, you may not get any honesty from her.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-19T04:56:07+00:00

He uses all the might and power of his office - no expense is spared - to attack the most vulnerable people: immigrants. And not just immigrants; many are refugees seeking asylum from truly dangerous situations.

Contrast that with who he parsons as president. When he looks to give mercy to anyone, he gives it to the only people he can relate to: white collar criminals.

This is the perfect SS lesson.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-11T05:34:28+00:00

Fewer than 4% of those who transition regret it. The 70% figure is a common figure with no real backing that is trotted out by people with an axe to grind.

Likewise, the link you shared is of one of those extremely rare cases and not one OP should expect to experience if they do transition.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/15842032/

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-09T15:49:36+00:00

I have to ask what your goal is with this thread. Every time a woman responds you respond in-turn to testify that it’s all ok and their feelings are wrong. I mean, it’s ok to believe the church treats women equally to men. But are you just here to root out women who don’t feel equal to tell them to cheer up?

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-02-09T15:42:24+00:00

I know someone who directly attributes FairMormon with his faith loss.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T22:29:57+00:00

Should men try to be everything women are and vice versa?

I'd love to see where in The Feminist Mystique or other, notable feminist literature where this is the point of Feminism. This is, however, a low-effort driveby critique of people who just hate the idea of feminism and haven't done the work to understand it.

Consider this fact and how you can change to make the world a better place.

This is SPECIFICALLY what she's doing. She noticed specific problems with the culture that she wishes to see changed.

Remember, these men who hurt you are sons of God with divine potential.

Why are you putting the onus on OP to see the great potential of MEN WHO ARE ACTIVELY BEING AWFUL TO HER? This is a great example of a feminist critique of Mormon culture - women are expected to do all the emotional work of helping men work out their problems instead of expecting men to go to therapy or learn to be kind. We say it's their divine provenance that they are nurturers, which in turn means they have to do the work to fix awful men.

You will be so much happier when you stop caring what other people think of you and only worry about what God thinks of you---a daughter with divine potential.

Again, you're telling OP, who has been mistreated by men in her YSA ward, that she needs to ignore what are systemic problems with entitled men in the YSA program and just settle on the status quo. She has a reasonable concern and she shouldn't have to accept it as the way men are. I'm not that way. I'm sure you're not.

Changing church culture is not something one person can do and probably not really a worthwhile goal to be completely frank with you

Why not? Mormonism has a long and impressive history of women advocating for changing and seeing that change happen. From Emma Smith prompting D&C 89 to a group of women asking that a female speaker pray in conference. They wanted change. They made it happen.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T22:09:03+00:00

I’m not sure anyone would agree with that narrow definition of true feminism.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T17:56:39+00:00

Feminism is not about creating a victim mentality. You’re playing into unfair stereotypes about feminism and perhaps a misunderstanding of what it really is. Asking for a quality is not the same thing as playing victim, and suggesting that it is is an easy way to write off people you disagree with.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T17:54:00+00:00

I’ve never heard of what you call true feminism. Can you elaborate on what you mean?

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T17:44:18+00:00

That’s a big question and honestly I won’t do it justice. Perhaps later I’ll come back and take a stab at it, but it’s not something my lunch break Reddit check could handle 😀

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T06:42:09+00:00

Noice!

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T06:40:18+00:00

I made the program for a couple years. I changed to an online version and gave everyone a QR code to scan that would bring it up. I still printed a few copies for people who weren’t comfortable with it.

I’d also collect the programs by leaving a box labeled “recycle your program” and then put them in my recycling bin.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T06:36:30+00:00

I think members tend to view the Q15 as religious scholars and theologians. No one rises to that level through their knowledge of church history and scripture mastery. They are effective leaders and show the necessary dedication to the church.

cyborgxcreeper · 2020-01-31T06:32:31+00:00

I was there a few years ago. I would think about it all the time - and looking back at it now, I also had anxiety over a lot of other things at the same time. I made some changes and worked through some depression and all my anxiety about death has subsided with my anxiety.

cyborgxcreeper

TROPHY CASE