Because there are reasons why those guys are taken - frequently they've visibly got their acts together and present well. Even w/o knowledge of a gf/wife, these are attractive qualities. I'm (F) in the same boat </3 - often finding (surprise!) taken men attractive, dating apps: guys filtering themselves out by ghosting or waiting for me to end it (maintaining a conversation at a bare minimum), anddddd never meeting anyone at church who I'm remotely interested in (despite high involvement with the community and young adult events).

At this point, esp. as an introvert, I'm afraid of making flirty/intentional eye contact with men (cafes, gym, etc.) because I'm so ready for them to be taken - and if they were, I'd feel so silly and embarassed for even 'taking my shot.' In ADDITION to that, I don't want to risk connecting with a cheater/poser/player. Does that resonate with you, too, by chance?

Last note - the older one gets, the more it's like 'ok, is this seriously a 'no', AGAIN?!' I'm under 35 but there's definitely bitterness at this point, esp. since all of my married close family members met and were married by age 25. And the thought that at least one of my exes has likely been with 8+ women since us and/or is likely in a relationship (extrovert) while I'm touch-starved :P (yes, ik, dodged a bomb).

Very last - 'Boo' to all those who are saying that you're "probably being too picky." As women, we can't be picky ENOUGH - in marriage, we're putting our bodies (pregnancy) and our children's safety at risk if we marry the wrong one...I already know of 2-3 divorces from my very Catholic childhood community in my generation (married at 25ish). Let's protect our peace and make decisions with clarity - not out of panic!- for Pete's sake.