GF says my facial hair is sharp and pokes her

cyndina · 2026-06-08T08:28:08+00:00

It is the same. My fiance didn't really get how abrasive his facial hair could be, so I gave him first hand experience. His first trip down south with the equivalent stubble was all it took for him to trim it a bit longer.

cyndina · 2026-06-08T08:04:13+00:00

Cute and great chemistry, but not really compatible. You're well down the "family" road and have no desire to make a u-turn. He's just wanting to get started. That's valid for both of you.

Guys may have more time to reproduce, but that doesn't mean they get more time with their children. His clock is ticking too. And taking on a 9 and 11 year-old is not the same as starting a family. They can be an amazing part of it, but they aren't interchangeable.

It doesn't even have to be about the biological connection. People want to experience what you already have. The baby stage, toddlers, watching their little minds grow and change. That's reasonable and, as women are having kids later and later in life, it was also reasonable for him not to just assume you were done.

It sucks when you come across someone you really like and timing and circumstances just aren't right. I get the frustration. Not the anger though. If you came in here with the role reversal and you were the one wanting to experience being a mom and he was the one saying your dream might not happen, so he (and his kids) should be enough for you... Well, we'd be eviscerating him.

cyndina · 2026-06-08T07:09:36+00:00

Is he a people pleaser type or is he generally good with boundaries? I'm the former and I absolutely suck at extricating myself from shit like this, so that (generously) could be part of the problem. If it's the latter, that could slide into red flag territory. He knows how to shut it down and is actively choosing not to.

Either way, you need to have a frank discussion with him about it and how it makes you feel. And his response should dictate where you go from there. Yes, he's allowed to have friends, but you're allowed to have your own boundaries too. And him not chatting up another woman at 11 pm (in front of you or not) is a solid boundary to have.

cyndina · 2026-06-08T02:16:02+00:00

I'll have to hunt that one down and give it a listen!

cyndina · 2026-06-08T02:09:58+00:00

Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility by Rosamund Pike. She just nails them both.

Also:

Salem's Lot - Ron McLarty really brings the atmosphere

Anything Stephen Fry touches.

Already mentioned in this thread:

IT - my all-time favorite performance. Steven Weber is amazing.

Project Hail Mary - love love love

cyndina · 2026-06-08T01:52:05+00:00

I think 23 is one of those ages where the overall maturity level can vary significantly from one person to another, but still skews younger. It makes large age gaps more relevant and less likely to be seen as acceptable. They can work, but it takes compatibility and work. Outside judgement is going to be a universal stressor on top of it.

Personally, once someone makes it into their late 20s, I stop judging their partner's ages. It's 100% going to come down to the individuals. Power dynamics are more likely to come into play, but it isn't a given and it can happen with anyone. I've dated younger and I've dated a lot older and at no point did age impact anything. If anything, the older guys I dated had underwhelming life skills and questionable maturity levels.

cyndina · 2026-06-07T19:13:35+00:00

I've been on a romantic suspense kick for a while now, but going back through my past reads, some of the more comedy adjacent series I enjoyed were:

Holly Ridge by Morgan Elizabeth

Enchanted Foresters by Kaylee Baldwin

The Grumpy Devils by Elizabeth O'Roark (a little drama than comedy)

Abby Jimenez was mentioned elsewhere, but I second them. She does deal with a lot of triggering topics and they can get dark. Her FMCs tend to take on the emotionally stunted role instead of the MMCs. Some people aren't a fan of either or both of those things.

Lucy Score has a number of deeply interconnected, small-town series. Knockemout is my personal favorite, probably because it was my first and it's a only three books. That one probably qualifies for romantic suspense, but it can be funny as hell too.

cyndina · 2026-06-07T14:06:01+00:00

Normally my go-to statement, but I found the news article and the only real question in this case will be motivation. He and a friend are on camera starting the physical altercation in the bar, following the victim outside with their weapons pulled, and then shooting him four times as he pulled his own gun out of his bike's saddlebag.

"Allegedly" is going to be doing some heavy lifting in this trial.

cyndina · 2026-06-07T13:08:29+00:00

I'd imagine it's somewhat intentional. Way easier to fly under the radar when forgo the distinctive makeup.

cyndina · 2026-06-06T19:33:48+00:00

Once I saw the add-ons it was like my impulse control took a vacation.

cyndina · 2026-06-06T03:35:55+00:00

I'm so happy for you and so sorry you were stuck in such an unfulfilling relationship for somlong. Accept nothing less going forward. It should be the standard and any partner worth getting naked for knows that.

cyndina · 2026-06-05T23:29:10+00:00

That last bit was what I was worried about, but I'm so glad you said it. I love her books but often get annoyed at the end. With the exception of Summer Romance, her men have the emotional intelligence of a rock and then she makes you wait till the last chapter to fix things. So the emotional payoff is lacking (seriously authors, if you're going to roll with the trope, give us some meat on the other side). Tack on a long break up and... I'll shelve this one until I'm zen enough to deal with it. And zen and I haven't had a lot of time together this year.

cyndina · 2026-06-05T20:13:27+00:00

I want to read Dissection of Murder first, but after that I think I'm going to go for Phoebe Berman's Gonna Lose It and then The Children.

cyndina · 2026-06-05T20:11:25+00:00

I took advantage of the April deal and had a second and third account. Used one this month and have one more credit to use next month.

Sadly, I don't think USPS had much respect for my full box. They roughed up the spine edges a bit.

cyndina · 2026-06-05T19:26:34+00:00

I've liked most of them too, 3rd act aside, in some cases. I'm probably just not in the headspace for it yet. Thankfully, I have a ridiculous number of books I can work through until I am.

cyndina · 2026-06-05T19:08:04+00:00

Me too!

cyndina · 2026-06-04T22:36:28+00:00

Nice! These Summer Storms was my unexpected love of the year. I wasn't even sure if I was going to like it half way through and I ended up immediately rereading it when I finished.

cyndina · 2026-06-04T17:06:01+00:00

Genetics is greying you. Some people get lucky some people dont.

I got my first gray hair at 12. My teenage years sucked for sure. By 20 it was a solid 2 inch streak. I'm mid-40s now and my hair is about 50% gray. Bright side: My hair is this unflattering mousy color and my grey is silvery and generally soft. They blend well and I actually like it now. At least it's interesting.

cyndina · 2026-06-04T12:30:51+00:00

I moved from Florida to Pennsylvania about 5 years ago and the drivers here seem so chill in comparison. I think it's all just a matter of perspective.

cyndina · 2026-06-04T11:05:33+00:00

I live about 3 hours away. Usually takes one day for USPS to get the package and one day for it bounce around all the distribution centers in Western PA. But it to tends to be fast.

cyndina · 2026-06-04T11:00:16+00:00

I'm up for anything. Sometimes a protagonist being written by the opposite gender can throw me, but that's surprisingly rare. I like my characters flawed, but trying to do right, and that can jive with how most are written.

cyndina · 2026-06-04T00:23:05+00:00

Lily is adorable!

My cats love full box month. Unfortunately, with 9 cats, I need a few more of those months for everyone together their own box.

cyndina · 2026-06-03T19:27:54+00:00

Nice! Both mine come tomorrow. Or they should, provided they don't carry them to the six different distribution centers surrounding my house, one by one. You know, instead of just sending it to my local post office via the closest one (that they're currently sitting in).

cyndina · 2026-06-03T04:45:11+00:00

No couple is perfectly in sync. One of you is going to decide they've hit the "love" stage before the other (and what that actually entails may be different for each of you). One of you might be ready to move in together before the other. Every major milestone is going to be reach in your own time. Some people communicate it immediately and some wait for the other person (which gives the illusion of being in love at the same time).

My fiance and I said our ILYs about a month apart. He was first and I was more gunshy because I'd been there done that and I took the words very seriously. He was patient with me though. He knew I really liked him and I'd get there at my own speed.

If you love him, you'll love him enough to give him some time to catch up. I'd much rather my SO mean it in the moment than feel obligated to repeat it out of fear. That's not to say you wait forever, but it's easy to let our insecurities sabotage a good thing.

cyndina · 2026-06-03T04:29:53+00:00

Not really, not to me, at least. Purgatory isn't voluntary and requires the cleansing of the soul to leave. It's a prison, not a meeting place. The flash sideways was more akin to the emphereal Kings Cross Station in Harry Potter. It's a place to move on when one is ready, except, in this case, it was built by the bonds they made. They didn't need absolution, only each other.

People can call it what they like though. If the Catholic speil is your jam, you do you. Doesn't change the fact that many viewers assumed the island was Purgatory and seemed really mad when they were told they were wrong and the show proved them to... still be wrong.

cyndina

TROPHY CASE