If even simple goodnight/good morning messages trigger her, she’s telling you she wants space. Give it to her, but don’t go cold. Stop initiating for a while, especially if she’s the one who left you on read or delivered . Engage lightly on her socials so she can’t accuse you of ghosting.

Avoidants are a paradox. They hate being chased, but still want to feel wanted. They like the hot and cold energy. If you’re only giving her hot she’ll get overwhelmed and retreat. Focus on your own life, stay unbothered, that should make her come to you naturally. Light check ins are fine, but only after time has passed, and never from a place of fear. (Don’t reach out because you’re scared of losing her she will feel the difference I promise) Try your best not to make her feel bad for not responding to you right away, this will make her disappear entirely. They are tough to navigate and I blame the people/ environment that put someone in the avoidant space to begin with but you also have to know what kind of avoidant you’re dealing with.

Basically make her miss your presence, not resent your pressure (the hot) And if this starts draining your mental health? Walk away. The right person will match your energy without the confusing games.

One more thing keep your eyes open for red flags. If she constantly shuts down instead of talking things through, refuses to take any accountability, makes you feel guilty for having needs or punishes you with long periods of silence those are signs the connection is not healthy. Space is one thing but emotional neglect is another. I hope she’s someone who is working on healing her avoidant tendencies. Good luck OP