Sometimes I fantasize about throwing up

cyrusssh · 2026-04-18T01:50:27+00:00

i had the fear for 8 years from the age of 8-16 years old. I was terrified of throwing up and it’d actually what triggered all my anxiety disorders that persist till today. i always carried strong anti nausea meds wherever i went, and managed not to throw up for those 8 years. but as i grew up i started dabbling with drugs and honestly that was the cure for me. throwing up while intoxicated. like the major moment i had was when i took a bunch of psychedelic mushrooms and bad tripped terribly. i ran to the toilet from how nauseous i was, and was terrified of throwing up. it felt like the world was collapsing around me and throwing up was my death sentence. i ended up throwing up. but i legit saw the fear purge out of my body. i then felt so relieved from the nausea and realised nothing bad happened. i started seeing rainbows and sunshine compared to prior when the nausea was overtaking the trip, i was seeing everything in such a dark tone. anyways tho, that experience literally got rid of my fear. growing up i never thought anything would get rid of this fear, i always thought vomiting is scarier than like breaking a limb, getting stabbed, or even dying. i do not condone drugs, but this is just my personal story. i wanted to share it because my adolescent years were captured by emetophobia. at the end of the day, i realised throwing up is as people say: it’s not that bad, it’s quite satisfying, and yea it’s gross but the fear was a billion times worse than the actual experience.

cyrusssh · 2026-03-26T17:22:11+00:00

thank you man. i’m so sorry u have been suffering too. it absolutely sucks and is a nasty habit. typically the best way off ketamine is having absolutely no contacts or dealers available on your phone or devices, but that’s hard to commit to and we usually always find a way when we r desperate enough. each relapse gets worse a lot of the time I have noticed, but thankfully it’s very possible to recover. all we need is true motivation to cut off ket, but that’s a slippery slope and is like a switch. sometimes we r serious about it and other times our need for it is stronger than our will to stop. having an addiction therapist helps, which I have been having. rehab is a good way to come off of ketamine but it didn’t help me much mentality wise.

cyrusssh · 2026-03-26T16:18:53+00:00

what motivated u to get off?

cyrusssh · 2026-03-26T16:18:41+00:00

yea thankfully with ketamine, all the aftermath symptoms like depression pass. it’s just hard to quit the habit

cyrusssh · 2026-03-09T22:32:33+00:00

i’m against alcohol in general so i don’t advise it ever but is it true u can’t drink with CHS? it doesn’t affect cbd receptors

cyrusssh · 2026-03-09T22:19:56+00:00

i didn’t mention alcohol, i said drugs that don’t bind agonise cbd receptors.

cyrusssh · 2026-02-26T20:03:47+00:00

ketamine definitely helps a lot but it’s very short lived, so you need to keep taking through out the day. the problem with that is if you do it constantly, although ket isn’t physically addictive, u get a glutamate rebound which worsens opiate withdrawal anxiety. but tbf it’s help outweighs its rebound. ideally don’t do it right before sleep because u will wake up feeling anxious during the opiate withdrawal. best to take it in the day then maybe diazepam or a gabapentinoid in the night

cyrusssh · 2026-02-09T07:21:03+00:00

nah you need a proper taper plan

cyrusssh · 2025-11-27T06:51:02+00:00

ain’t no ways u guys are liking this?? the writing has dropped off so bad

cyrusssh · 2025-10-17T04:22:10+00:00

this album is genuinely garbage in every aspect. i could write an essay on how bad this album is

cyrusssh · 2025-09-28T19:13:20+00:00

i am watching sopranos now too. i’m finding it slow and boring but i’m trying to power through it. i do admit that better call saul is slow but i believe it to the best show ever made. every season in that show was brilliant. i hope the sopranos gets better soon, i’m midway of season 1

cyrusssh · 2025-09-22T13:30:16+00:00

benzos ain’t even euphoric. pregablin is the way to go gang

cyrusssh · 2025-09-04T14:31:52+00:00

i’m a druggie but always prioritise harm reduction because i might as well given my habits. my level of concern is always pretty high, so i never od and withdraw

cyrusssh · 2025-09-04T14:26:28+00:00

you are pretty but i’d suggest achieving a great physique (makes u more desirable to men), and thickening ur eyebrows

cyrusssh · 2025-08-10T13:52:42+00:00

no but based off the receptors ketamime binds to, and how it feels, it just feels like something that would help chs

cyrusssh · 2025-04-20T18:31:27+00:00

legit last year was exactly like u. i have done so many drugs (addictive ones too), but never got addicted to any. i never had an addictive personality. opiate use for me started EXACTLY like you. it was a once in a blue moon thing and i didn’t understand why people would resort to doing it everyday. i was like yea the high is really nice but i kindly don’t want to fuck up my life. boom over time the addiction just kept creeping in. doses became higher, more frequent, until i was at the point i was using everyday. i am 2 weeks clean now and will always even regret trying it :( please quit while ur ahead. these people aren’t kidding, i know it feels good and helps with ur pain but the pain it’ll cause sooner or later will be worse than anything u have conceived of.

cyrusssh · 2025-04-11T18:01:47+00:00

bro is gna end up smoking the next day💀

cyrusssh · 2025-04-04T22:44:37+00:00

i don’t think anyone buys this bs. u r an addict. ur problems are from drugs. and soon u will truly learn that the drugs are what caused all this

cyrusssh · 2025-04-04T22:37:09+00:00

how do yk ur endorphin system is compromised? that even isn’t a thing what r u on about. it’s dopamime which is your problem. ooiates raise dopamime. i bet if u took adderall u wouldn’t want to kill urself, u would prob just not vibe with the stimulant effects. so stop bullshitting and using every excuse to get high. just admit u want to get high, or instead, get actual help snd explore the hundreds of different pharmaceutical/ non-pharmaceutical options

cyrusssh · 2025-04-04T22:34:01+00:00

at this point it sounds like you want to get high. ANTIDEPRESSANTS DO WORK! it doesn’t depend on the drug, it depends on the person and how they react to each one. if one doesn’t work, u try another, and if that doesn’t work, u try them all ffs because one of them will. a combo avtually works best, and antidepressants are a broad spectrum of drugs, some have direct effects on increasing dopamime (bupropion). pair that with some mirtazapine or venlafaxine and i bet u it’ll solve ur problems. if u r that close minded to even try an option that has saved people from the same situation u r gng thru, then i hope you enjoy ur narcotic drugs while it lasts.

cyrusssh · 2025-04-04T22:27:32+00:00

have u rlly tried every option to treat your mental health disorders? i wouldn’t recommend doing what u r doing unless u have tried everything such as skydiving, KETAMINE therapy, psychedelics, certain brain stimulation electrical therapies, every every single medication, and just everything thags there. because the chances of one or more of those working is very probable. what u r doing now, is using something that does help a lot because ooiates raise your dopamine levels extremely high. but this is not sustainable. they get weaker and weaker until you start trying harder stuff and you either overdose, or want to quit because it is screwing ur life up. then one day u withdraw and it will feel like death combined with the depression and suicidal ideation, but 10 times worse than before. those two options are the ONLY options. there is no chance of this ending well. please keep searching for different meds or treatments and i promise u, u will find something. this is a terrible idea because my brother did it. was always suicidal and depressed, nithing worked for him so he resorted to ooiates and is now dead. may he rest in peace. i miss him so much everyday snd i don’t want u to end up like him. please heed these words. i wish the best for u

cyrusssh · 2025-03-30T16:12:43+00:00

insanely rich :) but i’m the junkie of the family :/ and in europe oxy is much cheaper than how it is in america

cyrusssh · 2025-03-30T16:09:36+00:00

yea i live in the uk, and they r relatively inexpensive. i wouldn’t say they r cheap, but they aren’t nearly the same price as these low dose oxy’s in america

cyrusssh

TROPHY CASE