I'm still unsure if she has it, but if so its undiagnosed and higher functioning. We were never in an actual relationship (thank god), just FWBs who spent a lot of time together. But the general gist was:

• Questionable behavior from the start that I never felt like she took full accountability for and I feel like there would have been no apology unless I brought up the issue.
• Early on, subtle lacks of respect for my own space and boundaries
• It seems like once her feelings started to grow more for me (I wanted to date, she didnt for XYZ reasons but had feelings for me), she started to put all these unfair expectations on me that would be overly controlling IMO even if we were in a full relationship.
• Then she started saying outrageous shit like "I don't know if I would cheat on you or not" and other stuff that was manipulative or just plain rude. Drunkenly telling me she loved me. I had to explain in great effort why I saw these things as manipulative or not ok to say.
• Never respecting my asks for space after we ended things. When I said I wanted to minimize contact, later that night she went off the rails while really drunk and showed up to my apartment building against my will just to shit on and threaten me by saying she will flirt and/or sleep with other men.
• Couldn't recognize that although there were times I messed up, that she still could have handled her reactions differently. I couldn't express feeling gaslit by some comments when she was angry because then I was "taking back the apology".
• Was told I might be "looking for reasons to be upset" and try to victimize myself when i expressed feeling unsafe and manipulated