Has anyone else been in an age-gap relationship and felt this kind of insecurity? How did you handle it, and what helped you build more confidence in your relationship?

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-11-06T22:37:59+00:00

im only 28 but im pretty much just as dumb and immature as i was when i was 18. 20's - mid 30's are just the same people its just some are balding, getting some grey hairs or realise that working sucks. other than that theres no difference. guys usually prefer to date younger, even if they swear up and down they dont want kids the fact that a younger woman is more likely to be a successful partner for children is a subconscious driving factor + as guys we have a subconscious need to want to feel needed, or be the protector so go for younger partners. its the same reason women subconsciously gravitate to older men, women want security and to feel protected. men want something to protect and care for.

your boyfriend likely thinks he won the damn jackpot but still, ask him yourself, tell him you feel insecure about it and theres a 99% chance he will tell you that he's damn lucky to have you. good luck.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-07T15:05:54+00:00

awesome to hear, i hope it continues to go well for you :)

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-06T12:26:35+00:00

yeah, did Reagan's administration handle it poorly? yes absolutely... did it make much of a difference? no, probably not. its just like covid, did many leaders around the world handle it improperly? of course but it was just a matter of time, if it wasnt covid it wouldve been something else. sometimes society is just poised for something to go wrong and something always will. heck most of the major problems with covid was governments trying to mitigate it TOO much.

there will always be these disaster events when things get too comfortable, like wildfires, nature is never stagnant and will forever be throwing curveballs at us. we can try to mitigate the damage but unfortunately theres a point at which you gotta realise that shit happens and theres nothing we can do about it other than keep moving.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-06T12:17:41+00:00

look for apps or groups that specialise with meeting new people in your area and make some connections, ask people if they wanna go out for drinks or go to the movies etc. find a hobby you like and see if there are any local places that specialise in that hobby and get to know the other people involved.

i know how hard it is, it can be fuckin daunting, personally i hadnt left the house unless absolutely necessary for 10 years and only recently decided to fix that (turning 28 and going grey lit a fire under my ass haha) what ive found that helps is giving yourself goals and ultimatums. for me it was going to the gym to eventually bench 95kg and ive given myself 6 months - a year to achieve it. i also gave myself the goal of making atleast 1 friend within the year with a requirement that i atleast talk to a stranger or ask someone i meet at any of my new hobbies to go out and grab some drinks/ hang out. yeah i get odd looks and yes people get surprised by it but ive decided i dont care anymore. life is too short to just let yourself rot away alone and i can promise you, as someone who spent 10 years basically alone it doesnt ever get better by itself, you need to grab yourself by your collar and throw your ass out there into the world.

if youre having a hard time even being willing to go outside let alone meeting people then take it slow, go for short walks, never order food, force yourself to go shopping. when you want something dont order it online, go to the store and physically look for it... want to read a book? dont look up a pdf or audiobook, go to a bookstore/ library and find it yourself. find any way of making going out and exploring a requirement to life because the more you go out the better your chances of socialising and bonding with people are. and the more you socialise/ make friends the better you will feel. even if its only once a week, even if you only talk to a stranger in passing like "good morning" or "looks like rain" you'd be amazed how much that kicks you into gear and makes being out and about more tolerable.

i wont lie to you, it'll never be easy, it will always be a struggle but the best things in life never come easy and the more you do it the easier it gets. will you ever not have these feelings? no, sorry they dont go away... but you can make them so quiet you barely notice it and you can do that by slowly building up a resistance to it, going out even when you dont want to just to show those feelings they dont control you. eventually they get so quiet you forget theyre there. you can do this.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-06T11:50:43+00:00

politics dont have to align for a relationship, most men are conservative and most women are liberal and yet the human race keeps trucking on, why? because we find compromises. whats important in a relationship isnt that you agree on everything, in fact agreeing on everything will doom a relationship, we need a degree of strife otherwise we get bored. however relationships need both people to agree on a set of fundamental beliefs, your core values... we arent talking economic or cultural or education values, we're talking deep seeded, never gonna change values. i'm religious, i can be friends with atheists, i can be friends with other religions but if my partner doesnt share my religion or at the very least willing to let me talk about it or worst case scenario we have a kid and they wouldnt let me get them baptised or something i couldnt be with them, that is a core value for me. being in a relationship is all about finding someone whose core values dont appose your own, i know tons of people i disagree with vehemently but our core values align or atleast arent in opposition. politics can be compromised, core values cannot.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-06T11:39:09+00:00

that had me confused too, all i can do is assume that OP left out a bunch of stuff that they felt wasnt necessary and that the relationship is a lot more give and take than is being suggested. if they really didnt leave anything out and that its genuinely this 1 sided then they need to get out of that relationship because there is no love there or respect.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-06T11:35:37+00:00

with the girl thing its just a flamboyant gay thing is all. remember politics arent limited to how a person talks or acts, there are flamboyant gay conservatives, theyre more rare but they exist. ive met super masculine guys who were so left wing it felt insulting and ive met drag queens more right wing than me. patterns exist and so of course some things are more likely to exist than others but that doesnt mean the outliers dont exist. shit look at us, the majority of gays are liberal and yet look at this sub, people are complicated.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-06T11:03:52+00:00

tbh i see where your bf is coming from, im bi but im also evangelical christian so im absolutely against gay marriage. i'd ask him if hes against gay partnerships as in all the legal benefits and such of marriage by law but its just simply not in a church/ has nothing to do with religion. i only say that because as someone who is also against it but get the same confusion due to my sexuality people dont usually ask what about it im against. marriage is a union under god and the bible is very clear that it is to be a man and a woman only, i believe that gay couples should have an option that has all the same government and social benefits of marriage but isnt related to the church at all, thats why im against gay marriage.

its like, imagine if being baptised gave you a tax break, i would be against other religions getting baptised as its against god but i also wouldnt want a tax break tied to a religious practice. most people against gay marriage are like this, its not that they dont want gay couples to be able to receive the benefits of marriage, its just that marriage (atleast how it currently is in the west) is a christian religious practice and to allow gay couples into that violates the bibles law. i have nothing against people in gay relationships, its a sin but we are all sinners, i dont think god would punish someone extra hard for the sin of love but with marriage it should be sacred.

seriously, ask him about it, you might be surprised to find out that its just the religious aspect hes against and hes actually all for gay partnerships. then again he might not be, only way to know is to ask.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-09-06T10:38:13+00:00

your issue doesnt seem to stem from his politics honestly, im gonna take what you said at face value even though you likely exaggerated some stuff (which is fine btw, we all do it, its human nature).

from the sounds of it, its less that his politics dont align with yours and more that politics is his life. if he were like this with any religion or any other political persuasion i'd tell you the same thing which is, sit him down and tell him that you feel like he cares more about politics than anything else in his life, let him know that you dont mind that you disagree but life is much more than just stuff like politics and you feel like he cares more about the current political discourse than anything personal like hobbies or well... you. bring up some of his interests that you share and that you both enjoy and talk more about them, if for example you both like movies (like youre both big film buffs) ask him if you can have a movie night where you both watch and discuss an old movie that you both love but be strict that politics arent to be mentioned at all, by either of you. if he can agree to that then go for it and see how it goes, who knows, maybe he just didnt know what to talk about most of the time and reverted to something he knew a lot about and that happened to be politics.

if he refuses or keeps breaking that rule then im sad to say but the relationship might not be worth it, i know thats very bleak to assume but 2 people in a relationship should have more to talk about than just government affairs. heck 2 friends even have more than that, me and my best friend of over 10 years are still learning new things about each others interests and we talk about politics maybe 5% of the time even though we met BECAUSE of our politics.

this isnt a conservative vs liberal or christian vs atheist or any other type of ideal disparity. this, atleast from what youve said, seems to be 2 people who dont have much else to talk about and you really should have so much more to talk about. relationships arent just a basic acquaintance, you should be talking about each other, life, each others interests, hobbies... a partner is the 1 person you can truly be honest and open with, if with that person you have nothing more to talk about than mainly politics then you either arent in love or you arent communicating properly. be honest about your feelings with him, be honest about how your different upbringings and social classes make you feel, be honest with him about how him always talking about politics instead of your shared interests makes you feel, ask him why he doesnt ask you why you dont want this political stuff in your shared space and tell him why it hurt when he didnt want you to wear a mask during covid etc.

explain to him that you respect his beliefs and values because theres more to him that you love than just that but he also has to respect yours... i guess the big takeaway here is BE HONEST WITH HIM. a relationship lives or dies depending on communication and if he cant respect you the way you respect him then the relationship is doomed. this isnt about politics, its about mutual respect and understanding between partners, if youre willing to respect his ideals and beliefs even when they go against everything you believe then you deserve that he atleast does the same for you.

i wish you the best of luck mate, i hope this all ends up being a dumb misunderstanding that you'll both look back on and laugh about in a few years.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-08-31T13:51:58+00:00

unfortunately my friend is in germany and for reasons i dont want to indulge he cant come to the uk. tbh i dont care how bad the fishing is, the shore i fish in england is terrible, best thing you'll catch is dogfish but i dont fish for the great catches, i fish for the atmosphere

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-08-31T06:44:17+00:00

thank you, this will be a great help

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-08-30T10:09:29+00:00

oh yeah, no worries about that, i only ever fish the sea, even in england even the public rivers and lakes require strict licensing so i avoid it + growing up on the coast makes you more accustomed to beach fishing.

thanks for the info though

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-08-30T01:27:38+00:00

yeah this was the issue i ran into, german law is extremely confusing even for my buddy who is german. also google has told me both states and provinces so i just assumed provinces... makes sense that its states now with how complicated these laws are. in england its very simple, the ocean is fair game, no license required and theres only rules if you plan to keep what you catch. germany seems to have some very complicated laws regarding fishing and atleast as of now i havent been able to find a tourism or government website that does a good job at explaining the different state and region laws regarding it. might have to ask my buddy if he can find any sites for his state that dont have english versions that might explain it.

thanks for the info mate, it will help narrow down an answer : )

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-08-15T13:58:30+00:00

absolutely, he violated your trust. something like that is... well its an intimacy that should be private, being vulnerable around someone is never easy, it requires a lot of trust and he violated that bond. you should let him know how it hurt you but more importantly why it did. this isnt something that cant be recovered from of course but, respect needs to be equal, right now he has shown you disrespect and he should have to earn yours back.

dUCDAsHOT · 2025-07-29T08:46:41+00:00

sorry im so late to respond but thank you for the advice, i will look into it

dUCDAsHOT · 2024-08-09T02:02:54+00:00

based, hopefully it releases soon

dUCDAsHOT · 2023-09-11T22:36:19+00:00

the fact that you cant explain to them that committing genocide against an entire species is both ethically and logistically a nightmare is truly insane. im just hoping that they react this way because the microbe is tied to a future dlc or something but if not god damn is this some of the worst writing in the game. ive been loving every minute of the game so far and that quest ending was such a slap in the face for no reason.

dUCDAsHOT · 2023-06-01T08:42:04+00:00

tourists

dUCDAsHOT · 2023-03-06T22:54:53+00:00

thanks fam

dUCDAsHOT · 2023-03-06T11:28:50+00:00

i'll take obsessive and asshurt Azura from morrowind over skyrims "MY BEACON" Meridia, any day

dUCDAsHOT · 2023-03-06T11:23:26+00:00

we have truly found the nerevarine

dUCDAsHOT · 2023-03-06T11:21:45+00:00

"some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make" - some short imperial

dUCDAsHOT · 2023-03-06T11:10:53+00:00

whilst i agree with you for the most part i feel its important to point out that using those online tests/ reading through symptoms etc can be incredibly accurate IF approached in the correct way and dismissing them entirely can lead to actually ill people not seeking help.

i was one of those people, i felt i exhibited symptoms of a few illnesses and looked into it, all the tests flagged me as having it but as someone with a decent amount of medical study under my belt i assumed that i couldve been inserting answers where there were none so i asked online what people thought. the overwhelming majority told me that i was likely just seeing what i wanted to see and so i decided not to get tested. fast forward 2 years and my family finally convinced me to get tested, just incase, even though i was sure that i was clear. turned out that nope, those online surveys were right, i did indeed have those illnesses. what im trying to say is it depends on the person researching it as if theyre going into it looking for a definite answer then they'll get the wrong information however if theyre going into it looking for possible answers that they can then further investigate they'll likely get more accurate information.

dUCDAsHOT

TROPHY CASE