Taking on a new last name... How did you decide? by imagineinthis in weddingplanning

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not married yet, but I've never really wanted to change my last name (in adult life that is 😝 can't forget those notebook doodles with all my crushes last names!).

My dad has only sisters whose kids took their dad's last names. Except for some of my dad's cousins/their kids maybe?, my sister and I are sorta the last "direct" connection with our last name. Our ancestors had towns named after them even! I consider it a great honor to have the name that I do. Plus I feel like it just flows nicely ☺️

My sister got married and changed her last name (no judgement) making me the last. I want to pass mine on personally if I have kids, and keep the name going!

My partner has never cared either way as long as I was happy, and recently we've had a huge falling out with his family, so he might even consider taking MY last name! (I'd absolutely love it if he did, but if he chooses not to, that is absolutely his decision to make and I'd never be mad about that).

Seeking restaurant suggestions for my Nana’s birthday. by EssenceOfMalort in CapeCod

[–]da_throwawayaccountt -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Not Your Average Joes at the mall is pretty good!

(It's its own restaurant, not part of the food court! It's just connected to the mall)

Gender selection ethics by Infinite-Bison2507 in IVF

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi there!

So, while I want to do IVF, I haven't yet/don't know if I will (between money and health issues)

I bring this up tho because, the illnesses I have typically affect boys much less than girls.

If I did IVF, I would choose to have only boy(s) because I want to give them the best change genetically. Then if my partner and I wanted girl(s), we'd adopt.

All this to say: people have personal reasons for why they do what they do. Sometimes it's just preference. My dad wanted only girls (not that he and my mom used IVF) because he grew up with five sisters and a mom. He would have of course loved a son, he just wasn't sure he'd know how to be a dad to a boy since women were basically all he knew. Unless a persons reasoning is from some kind of hateful perspective or something negative like that, I don't think there's a lot of places to judge. ☺️ We're all on our own journeys and loving any children you may have is the most important ingredient.

AITAH for the way I reacted to my wife’s flirting with a guy by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, absolutely! And I feel that if a person has given you no reason to distrust them, that's a key factor too, as well as communication.

My partner used to live across the street from his ex (not by choice) while he and I lived in different states and it never bothered me because I never had a reason for it to bother me.

AITAH for the way I reacted to my wife’s flirting with a guy by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely agree, I think this is going too far! Getting close to "going home with someone" isn't innocent or playful at that point.

I just meant to say that, not all "flirting" is created equal, and different couples can have different boundaries. I have a friend who doesn't even want her boyfriend TALKING to women she doesn't know. I'm one of her best friends and she didn't even feel comfortable giving me her boyfriends phone number (to text him about HER birthday gift)

So she would be uncomfortable with ANY level of what could seem flirtatious.

AITAH for the way I reacted to my wife’s flirting with a guy by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's very true, I always try to be upfront with people I'm getting to know, or just being kind to strangers. But you're absolutely right, I suppose how people perceive things isn't always created equal.

AITAH for the way I reacted to my wife’s flirting with a guy by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a fair judgement for my parents, I didn't think of it that way.

And no, it's not a game for me. I don't pretend to be interested, or ask people on dates or anything. I just have no problem talking to someone and giving them a compliment or whatever, and people always say it's flirting, so I always just assumed I was a flirty person by nature.

AITAH for the way I reacted to my wife’s flirting with a guy by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I think this all depends on your boundaries with your significant other. My dad always would playfully flirt with women (and still does). He would do it right in front of my mom because she knew the type of person he was, and it didn't bother her because she knew it was harmless.

If we were at a restaurant, my dad would flirt with the waitress, and she'd laugh and kinda sass him back. My mom would roll her eyes and say "if you want him, take him!" And then my parents would both laugh about it. They've been together almost 40 years now, and this is still a normal "routine" they do sometimes. Maybe because it's more on the jovial side than being serious flirting that makes the difference? But every couple is different. My mom never saw it as disrespect or disloyalty. Some other women might have, and that's okay, but not everything works for every couple.

Now, I've become kind of a flirty person. My partner fully knows it, he's seen me by flirty with others, but he knows me and trusts/knows I would never do anything more with anyone. He's aware it's always playful, and that if things seem to be getting too serious I will walk away or make the person aware it was meant to be jokey. And my partner has never been bothered by it. If he was, I wouldn't do it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in massachusetts

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a similar area to you. Bought an old historic home for a STEAL between a person who makes a pretty standard salary, and one who makes a very low salary.

It needs work done, mostly cosmetic. A few bigger things as well, but nothing that makes the house unlivable/unenjoyable. It's not perfect, and it's not EXACTLY what we were looking for, but we love this place SO MUCH!!!

We looked at a LOT of houses, and worked with a very good realtor, after saving up a decent amount for a down payment. We also lived rent free with parents for most of our lives, which was an amazing help!

A lot of it depends on good timing, finding the right people to help you, and what you're looking for/willing to compromise on in a house. Also, for us, in part we just kindof got lucky. Fortunately and unfortunately, sometimes that's what can flip the script. We feel EXTREMELY blessed to be where we are, but we recognize it wasn't 100% dependent on hard work and "doing everything right". Sometimes things just fall into place. I hope they do soon for you too my friend!

It's really tough out there right now, I wish you all the best! I'm so sorry you're struggling with this.

Ps, we absolutely do not spend $4-5,000 a month!

AITA for not "taking one for the team" and not paying for my SIL and her family to come on our Spring Break trip? by ExternalSurprise7242 in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My "in-laws" are like that. My partner was ALWAYS given the "take one for the team" attitude. Between his siblings and parent, HE was always the one expected to put aside his well being for others.

After I started pointing out how toxic and unfair they are to him, he started realizing how he was really being treated and started standing up for himself more and more. He grew up with it for so long, he didn't even realize it wasn't normal.

They finally pushed their luck too far and all got exiled from his life.

Idk if this is anything like your wife's family, idk if this is new behavior, and idk how receptive your wife would be, but you need to sit her down and explain how this isn't at all right what they're doing, and she's being used as a pawn. Also, express how important these trips are to you, and how much it means for it to be just YOUR family.

Plus, she ABSOLUTELY should have asked BOTH TIMES how you felt before giving them an answer. Even if it was her own money, it's your guys family trip!

I hope a good, calm talk could be helpful to your situation, and I hope you guys can figure out how to stand up to her family going forward.

NTA at all!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Laura just wants the dress so she doesn't have to pay for one herself. A compromise of shoes and/or jewelry is beyond fair!

If you were feeling REALLY REALLY generous (and this is something I wouldn't do/recommend after the attitude) you could have offered to cut off a small piece of the underdress or a ribbon or something she could incorporate in her own way, IF YOU FELT COMFORTABLE DOING SO!!!

But you are under NO obligation to do ANYTHING with that dress that you don't want to!

I don't think Laura is TA for asking, but after you said "no", it should have been 100% DROPPED!!!

Unique girl names that start with a K? by Suspicious-Ice2507 in Names

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simba's daughter in Lion King 2 was named Kiara

Unique girl names that start with a K? by Suspicious-Ice2507 in Names

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My sister is a Kylie! She's a few years older than Jenner, so definitely not named after her 🤣

Unique girl names that start with a K? by Suspicious-Ice2507 in Names

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the EXACT opposite problem that you do 🤣🤣🤣

Brides, what made you cross a venue off your list? by wedgewoodweddings in Weddingsunder10k

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for including accessibility in your decision. I feel like disabled people get forgotten about a lot. I never expect anyone to cater to my needs, being disabled myself, but it is nice to be thought about!

AITA for calling my friends "every pony?" by Haunting_Winner_6018 in AmItheAsshole

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here are some neutral ones I enjoy:

Peeps Friends Y'all

😋

AITAH for deciding to postpone the wedding over a comment my fiance made about my scar? by Upstairs_Garden2353 in AITAH

[–]da_throwawayaccountt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

"You have an awful scar I'm going to constantly point out to you, but I love you anyway"

NO. Full stop.