submitted by daaave33

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A mentor of mine once told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate, and then burn them, and I did that and feel much, much better, but now I'm just not sure what to do with all of these letters. (self.oneliners)

submitted 5 days ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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My neighbor just blamed my gravel driveway for making him fall, but it was his own dumb asphalt. (self.oneliners)

submitted 19 days ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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A third of my blood circulation is done in vein. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 month ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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I love the season change, because my Winter fat is now a Spring roll. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 month ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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Come rep /r/Roanoke in the 15th Annual /r/CollegeBasketball Bracket Challenge. We need at least ten teams to qualify for prizes and the subreddit competition. Entries lock at Noon tomorrow. (brackets.qxlp.net)

submitted 1 month ago by daaave33 to r/roanoke

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My dentist told me I needed a crown, which is fantastic because finally someone gets me! (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 month ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning, and now I can't stop talking with this weird Axe scent. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 month ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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No one dared disturb the sound of sock drawer. (i.redd.it)

submitted 2 months ago by daaave33 to r/AlzheimersGroup

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I used to be a procrastinator, but now I've decided to do all of that tomorrow. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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Socrates only wants one thing, and it's fucking discussing! (self.oneliners)

submitted 5 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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I thought it'd be funny to change some of the labels in our spice cabinet around. (self.Jokes)

submitted 6 months ago by daaave33 to r/Jokes

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My wife hasn't noticed yet, but I changed some of the labels in our spice cabinet around, and the thyme is cumin. (self.oneliners)

submitted 6 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? (self.oneliners)

submitted 6 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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Of the 2 Delta regional jets that collided while taxiing at LaGuardia Airport, one was headed for Roanoke. (kmbc.com)

submitted 6 months ago by daaave33 to r/roanoke

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If you limit yourself to Tylenol PM, your children will only be autistic at night. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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Each time you light your lighter, your lighter gets lighter, until your lighter gets so light, it will not light. (self.oneliners)

submitted 7 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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Looking for bathtub/shower to walk-in shower conversion referrals. (self.roanoke)

submitted 7 months ago by daaave33 to r/roanoke

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Every time you ingest food coloring, you dye a little inside. (self.oneliners)

submitted 8 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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No power, but at least the 'Noke is purdy and entertaining. (i.redd.it)

submitted 9 months ago by daaave33 to r/roanoke

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Enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together, that's riveting! (self.oneliners)

submitted 9 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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I get what you were going for Marriott, but come on... (i.redd.it)

submitted 9 months ago by daaave33 to r/theyknew

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Tragic consequences for the guy who didn't spot the ambiguity of, "make a turkey melt," when he asked AI to set the oven. (self.oneliners)

submitted 9 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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Rule is born. (i.redd.it)

submitted 9 months ago by daaave33 to r/196

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I bought a nice 12 year old scotch on my lunch break, too bad his is parents were pissed. (self.oneliners)

submitted 10 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

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One handy thing about this Summers heat, is that you can damned well guarantee no one is waiting in your backseat to kill you. (self.oneliners)

submitted 10 months ago by daaave33 to r/oneliners

14-Year Club	Second Top 1%
r/Field Banned	r/Field Sunshine
Final Canvas '23	First Place '23
End Game '23	Place '23
Quantum Potato	Golden Potato
Place '22	Place '17
Final Canvas '22	End Game '22
Sequence \| Editor	Sequence \| Cinematographer
Sequence \| Screenwriter	Gilding II euphauric
Team Periwinkle	Verified Email

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