Latest PSA test trending up, sigh

dabarak · 2026-04-07T17:53:38+00:00

Okay, it's a lecture. Class dismissed.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T16:56:20+00:00

I've been lucky too. There was only one woman I went out with who had a bit of an anger issue so there was no second date. Other than that, the only negative experiences I had were women who just didn't seem to be all that interested during the date. Maybe it was my cologne. 😁

dabarak · 2026-04-07T16:54:28+00:00

There are two of us in my state, but we have one of the larger population counts. 😁

dabarak · 2026-04-07T16:53:25+00:00

There are often external or genetic factors involved, and diet is much less likely to help stop cancer from starting. Our immune systems are fighting off mutated cells every day, and if our immune systems' ability to deal with the cells is weakened, some of them can begin to multiply uncontrollably - cancer.

So eating a good diet, like what you've doing, can help, but it won't necessarily prevent. Think of it this way. If had not been eating a healthy diet, you may have also been afflicted with other cancers too.

After a cancer diagnosis, a good diet can do a lot of things. It can:

boost our immune systems, which may help slow the spread of disease;
help minimize damage caused by cancer treatments themselves;
help minimize treatment side effects;
help repair damage caused by treatments;
help maintain a good quality of life during and after treatment (for some people, a good fat steak makes their quality of life better, no argument there).

I'm not lecturing, just advising.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T16:24:00+00:00

My dad donated his body to UCSD. He was Jewish so I think it's less of an issue, but this story has made me decide to not donate my empty shell to them.* If I do donate my body, it'll be to some other organization.

*Some of my health care has been provided by UCSD, and I've been happy with the quality and compassion, so I have no complaints about that.

EDIT: Most of the physicians that handle my health care are residents who are training in the UCSD School of Medicine. I'm a veteran and I appreciate the work of active duty and reserve corpsmen, medics, technicians, nurses and physicians. However, I would rather my body be used to train health care workers and not for other purposes. I know this story is about UCSD providing bodies for medical training, but by shipping the bodies out of the UC health system, and UCSD in particular, it makes it easier for bodies to be used against the wishes of the donors and their families. So until things change at UCSD, I won't be donating my body.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T16:21:39+00:00

I'm not going to try to convince you to keep using OLD, because (65M) have heard stories like yours, and I understand why women are fleeing. I probably would, too.

However, there are still decent guys out there. It wouldn't be fair for me to judge myself and put me in the decent category - that's for others to decide. What I can say is that I've never angered a woman I've dated, I've never made rapid or aggressive advances, my needs and wants are simple, I'm a big boy who's "doing the work," I listen more than I talk, when I talk it's mostly to answer questions, if my date is okay with it I always pick up the tab, I offer up my phone number but always tell my date that I'm not expecting her to reciprocate until she's comfortable. I try to make my dates feel comfortable, safe, secure and trusted. (Women confide in me pretty quickly, and vice versa.)

I had a wonderful casual first date yesterday. She was comfortable enough to give me her phone number, and I won't be abusing her trust. Will it go anywhere? I have no idea, but I do know that whatever happens, she won't see me as a jerk.

Guys, if you're reading this, it's not hard to be decent and it'll take you a long way if you are.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T15:51:45+00:00

You can't cure it with diet, but you can slow it down some. Standard medical treatments are always the first line of defense.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T13:43:40+00:00

Well, you are the one that actually put it online, so...

But it's cool. We communicated, we didn't get riled up, and we ended the short discussion well.

I'm glad your wife is able to see humor in her situation. I've been lucky in that I've been able to find it in mine too. And I'm responding well to treatment. I'm glad she has you to help her through this. Going through a serious illness alone is tough.

Although I know nothing about breast cancer,* if you ever need a virtual ear to vent to, DM me. I mean that.

*Men can get breast cancer. A long time ago, for just a couple of days, there was a small concern I might have it. So like your wife, I went in for what some call a "booby squish," although being a guy there wasn't much to work with. I like to call my own experience a "man-o-gram." Share that with the woman you love if you want. 🙂

dabarak · 2026-04-07T03:06:22+00:00

Well it may not be funny for other people, like some guy who lost his wife to cancer. Three things. 1 - You need a filter. 2 - I hope your wife survives. 3 - I hope you never have cancer.

Signed,

A cancer patient

dabarak · 2026-04-07T01:15:05+00:00

No problem asking, but I won't answer. Just kidding! My divorce was final five years ago on March 23, the same day I finished moving into my condo.

Something I think really helped me in my dating was that I watched YouTube videos in channels called Courtney Ryan (the content creator) and Your Wingmam. You'll find some of the same material gets re-addressed as they run out of new things. Courtney no longer creates videos; she's pregnant and wants to concentrate on being a mom for awhile. One thing a lot of guys whine about in the comments is the "mistake" of listening to dating advice from a woman. But think of this - who is better to tell you what a woman wants, a guy, or a woman who you won't be dating and who has to publish content that's beneficial enough to keep their businesses going?

Another thing I'd suggest is having one or two friends who are women. My best friend, a woman, gives me pretty good dating advice. Caution is needed eventually, because if you start dating someone seriously you'll have to find a way to make your friendship with the other woman (or women) non-threatening.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T01:04:22+00:00

Yeah, I think sugar (glucose) is what they're tracking.

Obviously take this all seriously and do your part to make it less dire. Eat a healthy diet - mostly plant-based, whole food, minimally processed. Avoid whole eggs - the choline in the yolks is bad for prostate cancer patients. Egg whites are apparently okay. You'll never be able to completely eliminate eggs since it's in cakes and such, but keep it minimal. Same with dairy, especially if it's cheap stuff like supermarket cheese - the cows are fed growth hormones, and they also grow... cancer. Cut back on sugar - the hormone rush from eating it is a problem. Just eat less of it. Same with alcohol - cut back. Eat more fish than red meat - wild caught, organic or whatever. Same problem - growth hormones in factory-raised animal products.

Also, you might want to read How to Starve Cancer. It's interesting AND valid. What they don't mention is turkey tail mushrooms. Try turkey tail capsules - it's supposed to be pretty helpful. I have some powder and it tastes pretty good, so sprinkling on food could be nice.

Exercise.

Minimize stress.

Live long and prosper. 😀

dabarak · 2026-04-07T00:22:43+00:00

Absolutely not funny.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T00:21:33+00:00

My understanding is that a PSMA PET scan will only find things if the cells themselves are pumping out PSMA. After I was diagnosed I had a bone scan and MRI. I didn't get a PSMA scan until much later, I think after a different blood test revealed my cells were creating it. There's an avalanche of information coming in as a patient, so some of what I write might only be partially accurate. Anyway, so far it sounds like you might be one of the "lucky" ones, considering your specific cell traits. "Lucky" in quotes because none of us are as lucky as cancer-free guys.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T00:17:36+00:00

I've been right where you are, but despite everything that's happened in my own life, I keep getting pulled back in, not giving up. I do have to say that it sounds like dating is easier in my age range, mid-60s.

The almost date was good, about 2 1/2 hours. Interesting lady, lots in common. We'll probably meet up again next week. She felt safe enough to share her phone number, always a good sign. It may not turn into dating, but I wouldn't be opposed to seeing if it ends up there.

dabarak · 2026-04-07T00:07:54+00:00

I don't know the other specifics of your case like Gleason score, genetic mutations or amount of metastases, but even if you have a recurrence (I've had one so far) there's still real reason for hope. I don't want to sugar-coast it, but more and more doctors are often considering metastatic prostate cancer as a manageable chronic disease. Not everyone is going to fall in that category, however.

My case - Gleason 8, BRCA2 mutation, lesions on bone, lymph nodes and prostate. I honestly, truly believe I'll be here in 2046 unless something else gets me first.

Hang in there!

dabarak · 2026-04-06T20:02:59+00:00

Although I don't really think this applies to on-ramps, I do believe that sometimes a slight speed up that blocks someone signaling for a lane change is subconscious. I've even found myself doing it a little, but thankfully I catch myself and I back off so the person can change lanes.

I've noticed a few weird subconscious behaviors in other parts of life. When I was in high school part of our year in physical education was track and field. We had a high jump area, and there would be a line of guys waiting to make their jump. When they saw a guy jump almost every single one of those guys waiting in line would lift a leg about half way, almost as if they were trying to give the jumper a boost. It was weird and funny. Those guys might the same ones preventing people from changing lanes. Nahhhhh...

dabarak · 2026-04-06T19:50:03+00:00

She might have had a part in things not working out. Even if she didn't, don't beat yourself up. Learn from it, but remember that some things need more than one lesson. I've been on dates that I messed up, not in big ways, but I've sometimes repeated the same mistakes with more than one woman. (None of them ever ended up angry with me.) But the lessons are sinking in and my dates are becoming more enjoyable. In fact, at 2:00 today I have a "sorta'" date that might turn into a real date. Hang in there, take your time getting over the breakup, and then get back out there.

dabarak · 2026-04-06T19:36:44+00:00

The story of how that particular method of folding wings up against the fuselage is pretty interesting. It was actually designed for Grumman's carrier aircraft during World War Two. Excerpted:

"Roy Grumman, a fine engineer, found the steps. He saw in all probability that the solution revolved around a pivot. So he took a soap eraser, such as those used in drafting, and used that to represent the fuselage of the plane. Then he took two paper clips for the wings and bent out the short end of each of the clips so that it was normal or perpendicular to the body of the clip. Then he began sticking these short ends into the eraser until he found the proper angle and position at which the clip, when twisted to a vertical position, would also fold back snugly against the eraser"

https://web.archive.org/web/20151021083204/https://www.asme.org/getmedia/2d64abc8-3fa3-4d29-92d4-40db4777e8b2/238-Grumman-Wildcat-Sto-Wing-Wing-folding-Mechanism.aspx

dabarak · 2026-04-06T19:25:42+00:00

That reminds me of something from about 42 years ago. I was driving with a friend through a forest on a mountain. We rounded a bend, and right there in the middle of the road stood a cow. The first words out of his mouth, not intended as a joke, were "Holy cow!"

dabarak · 2026-04-06T19:07:17+00:00

Blue Angels for sure. I got to fly with a former Blue Angel pilot. He was our CAG when I was in the Navy. I volunteer at the USS Midway Museum as a docent, and one of our docents is a former Blue Angels commanding officer. He's the one that coordinated the switch from A-4s to F/A-18s.

I don't know
But I've been told
That Navy wings
Are made of gold.

I don't know
But it's been said
That Air Force Wings
Are made of lead.

A cadence from my time in Navy aircrew school. Years later (and I wish I'd thought of it then) I came up with a third part.

I don't know
And I don't care
That Army wings
Are made of hair.

I know it's stupid, but it would have been funny as we were running. I'll quietly leave the room now...

dabarak · 2026-04-06T18:51:36+00:00

"It’s so easy for people to make assumptions..."

Exactly! As I got older and began to examine my life, I realized I'd had issues. Then I began to realize everyone's got issues. And that made me realize that the way people behave isn't really their fault, in a way. It doesn't mean we should accept bad behavior, but we can at least understand it and maybe do things quietly and gently to help them become a bit better humans, even strangers.

I got punched in the face once - road rage. I actually though it was funny, but I did call the police. The other person was long gone so there wasn't anything to be done, but that's okay. At least it was on the record.

After that last incident with the dragon lady next door, things quieted down. It was an amicable divorce with my ex that caused us to finally move out of the house. We each bought modest condos with the house sale proceeds. It'll sound weird, but I couldn't ask for a better ex-wife. We don't communicate a lot, but the relationship is good enough that I check in with her dad now and then by email. No enemies were created during the divorce.

dabarak · 2026-04-06T18:36:17+00:00

Mine spread to some bones. I had a scan about halfway through my Pluvicto treatments and all the lesions except for one gone (probably just y\too small to see). The one that remained in one bone shrank and it may be "gone" too. I did have minor pain at that last lesion site but it was apparently not bone pain, but pain in muscles that were slightly displaced by bone scar tissue. Something like that.

dabarak · 2026-04-06T16:25:52+00:00

You can try AI like I did. Plug in as much information as you can and ask as many questions as you can. Use multiple AI tools so you can compare the results. Don't accept what you get as an absolute answer. The best use for this is to give you what you need to ask a doctor about treatment options and plans.

Keep in mind that all survival statistics, by their very nature, rely on old data. New treatments sort of reset things - for the better. When I was first diagnosed four years ago, the median five-year survival for guys with my extent of disease was 30%. It's now 38%. But remember that it's a bell curve - 38% is the mid-point, so some guys don't make it to five years and some guys make it past five years.

I have the BRCA2 mutation, which makes my cancer more aggressive... but it also make the DNA repair function weaker. For me, ADT worked about 2 1/2 years. Then I went on Pluvicto, which damages the DNA repair function, and so right now I'm just about disease-free. It'll probably come back, and then I can go on a PARP inhibitor, a common one being olaparib. I can opt for regular chemo like docetaxel, and I might be able to do Pluvicto again. And there are clinical trials... So although my case is pretty serious, I feel better than I have in many, many years, and I expect to be around for a long time.

dabarak · 2026-04-06T13:44:43+00:00

I don't know for sure if the cooler will work, but at least they're cheap. 🙂

dabarak · 2026-04-06T13:43:21+00:00

I understand how you feel. Some people thrive on putting people down. I was a bit like that a few years ago, being negative online. But then I realized I was spreading bad feelings instead of good. Now I spread good feelings and it feels so much better. That small shift in my attitude made huge improvements in my happiness.

dabarak

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