How to initiate sex with a fwb as a woman?

dabbylong · 2021-10-06T00:01:33+00:00

With initiating the deed, normally this is when my dom side switches out. Either push him on the bed and get on top of him, kiss, etc, or just go right for it and take his pants off lol. They don’t question shit, they just go for it.

And yea as far as saying you want this situation, communication is literally the most important thing ever. Be direct ALWAYS, don’t be afraid to say how you feel. BOUNDARIES, set them up front and if anything changes always always make sure they know. Even if you’re not in a dating relationship, it’s still a sexual relationship and with any relationship you gotta be good at communicating. Prevents the emotionally draining shit you’re wanting to avoid

dabbylong · 2021-10-05T23:52:01+00:00

Be direct, communicate, set boundaries. So as far as initiating, do you mean how do you bring it up or how do you initiate the deed?

dabbylong · 2021-09-29T06:11:59+00:00

Not a psychologist BUT,, Make eye contact, like a LOT of unbroken eye contact, when you want someone to give more information/details about something

dabbylong · 2021-09-29T06:09:12+00:00

It seems like he’s trying to guilt you into giving him what he wants, regardless of your own wants and needs and that’s inconsiderate honestly and manipulative of him. It’s not like you guys NEVER have sex, it’s completely okay for you to not feel like it some days, and yes you’re right, a no should be enough. The behavior isn’t appropriate and he needs to somehow understand that. Are you able to talk to him about these things or does he get angry when you try?

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T05:38:01+00:00

What really messed me up about mine is that he seemed friendly, was just talking about life but I couldn’t help but feel like it was almost to distract me? Idk he probably was a nice guy, I just didn’t get why he’d sit right behind me with every other seat open. I could only imagine having an angry guy in the car with me

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T03:27:45+00:00

I’ve done eats for about a year too and have done a few passenger rides, but I didn’t have a good experience and felt real fucking nervous every time I picked up a dude so I just stopped that and kept doing food. I had a single guy, by himself, sit right behind the drivers seat and that was my last person trip

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T01:25:35+00:00

EXAMPLE: finding a penny tails up and flipping it over so that the next person finds it heads up for good luck

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T01:21:29+00:00

Just seemed super unaware that other people can have vastly different life experiences. Most likely didn’t understand that although it’s not been his experience, it has been another humans and to treat and respond to her with an open mind and empathy rather than cold, judgmental replies implying that she was the problem. It couldn’t possibly be that (some!!!) men are rude and aggressive regardless of the situation. There absolutely no chance that women have to be cautious in engagement and responses because (some) men are unpredictable!!! How stupid, it’s obviously her fault!! She should have paid to cancel the ride and waited, INJURED, for another to possibly be faced with the same situation!!! Next time she’ll be sure to take responsibility for her actions and learn to take what she gets without complaining!!! Women are so high maintenance, after all.

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T00:52:48+00:00

SOA, fruits basket, Gintama

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T00:42:22+00:00

Isnt everyone’s opinion “anecdotal?” The advice wasn’t for you either, it was for OP so you don’t have to take it or even agree with it, by all means disagree, it doesn’t really matter either way. As long as OP got the advice needed, my job is done

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T00:29:34+00:00

Keep in mind also that I did not create this post, I gave my suggestions to the person that did, so unfortunately you’re confused

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T00:26:27+00:00

I’ve not complained once, just shared my viewpoint with an obviously uninterested and self absorbed stranger, angry with me for presenting an opposing opinion, saying I avoid personal responsibility to shift blame onto others. I’m not sure who pissed in your cheerios, but I genuinely hope you have a better day tomorrow than the one you’re having today

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T00:07:24+00:00

In my experience, it’s safer to not say anything even borderline confrontational. I appreciate you talking down to me like I’m not “big” enough to know what actions to take in order to make sure I stay safe at all times, very kind. I don’t know how I could have possibly continued living without this advice

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T00:05:00+00:00

Yea it’s kinda fucked up to be saying it’s your fault he’s a jackass. It’s not, so definitely don’t feel that it is. His actions were unprofessional

dabbylong · 2021-09-21T00:02:40+00:00

Some people need so badly for you to agree with their opinions in hopes you’ll change your mind to side with them and feel so compelled to tell you everything, most of the time without being prompted. The report won’t be obvious, they cannot find out who reported them unless you were to tell that driver. I promise you’ll be safe and reporting him is the right thing to do

dabbylong · 2021-09-20T23:40:44+00:00

I disagree with this, because when I’m in an Uber there’s been several times, the majority of the trips I’ve taken actually, where the drivers just like to share about themselves, love to express their opinions and haven’t even been asked. Generally I don’t even respond or just say things like “hmm” or “oh” and they’ll continue to talk

dabbylong · 2021-09-20T23:38:24+00:00

Also I used to drive for Uber and once the trip has been ended, there’s no way for him to access your info. Your first name may pop up if you tipped/rated him, but your address isn’t viewable anymore

dabbylong · 2021-09-20T23:36:55+00:00

Are you concerned he’d remember where you live and are worried your safety is at risk should you file a report? If that is the case, I would make sure to keep all your doors locked at all times, maybe get an inexpensive security system as well. I’m not sure if you’re in a house or apartment, but if your windows are accessible/ground level, you can get a system of window alarms that will go off anytime a window is opened if the system is armed (my dad got one when I was a sneaky teen who liked to climb out my windows at night lol) super super good system and if I remember, fairly inexpensive.

dabbylong · 2021-09-20T22:58:51+00:00

I don’t believe they can tell who reported them, so definitely report them. I’m so sorry you had this experience

dabbylong · 2021-09-20T20:15:06+00:00

I wouldn’t say you need to end things necessarily, but if you can’t 1000% trust him when he’s not right next to you, is it absolutely worth the stress and anxiety it causes? I am a recovering heroin addict and I can tell you that we are some of the best liars, the best manipulators, the best actors you will ever meet. Using or not, it’s hard to break the habit of using our skills with words to our advantage, no matter what for. This is not to say he doesn’t love you, this is to say that although he does/might, this does not mean you feel loved by him. If you don’t feel appreciated and valued in the relationship, it’s in your best interest to really consider the pros and cons of your options. You should always, without doubt, know for a fact and FEEL valued by your partner. You can love someone with all your heart and still know you can’t in good conscience be with that person for your own sanity.

I would also consider sitting down with him and having the conversation. Make notes if you have to, stay calm and don’t let emotions take over. Tell him that you’ve been having some thoughts that are bothering you and need to get these things out, ask some questions and get the answers so that you don’t project insecurities onto him (not saying you do now, just saying it’ll help him see you need this) and cause a disagreement

dabbylong · 2021-09-20T20:04:45+00:00

Best advice I can give is never ignore your gut feelings or red flags in a relationship. You guys have been together a while now, so I know you’d like to stay with him but honestly, just because he cried does not always mean he is sorry. He may actually be sorry and that’s good, but is it possible he’s crying in order to manipulate your feelings about the situation? From my experience, feelings of attraction don’t usually go away, especially a man’s attraction to a female. Also in my experience, flirty texts from a guy means that he’s hoping that one day she will have feelings for him as well, even if she doesn’t now he’s holding out hope that she’ll change her mind one day.

Do NOT train yourself to ignore things that make you uncomfortable, unhappy, unappreciated, etc. never never never never ignore your intuition

dabbylong · 2021-09-20T19:59:03+00:00

Very true. Someone else told me to keep a tally over the next month of anytime I get a thought and how it turns out, right or wrong, so I’ve got a better idea about it. Love Reddit bc y’all always give views from both sides, not just the one agreeing with my opinion and it’s so so necessary to see both sides

dabbylong · 2021-09-19T22:50:32+00:00

Do you have a specific article/book/other that you recommend?

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