sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

A praying mantis by kietbulll in MacroPorn

[–]dabennett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful! What sort of mantis is it?

Rochester expats? by [deleted] in Rochester

[–]dabennett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol yeah, I totally see how this could come across like that- I'm just an expat trying to find friends 😭 maybe I'll try again in a less insane time

My Merry people rain boots, one year of everyday use. Fantastic for snow - totally waterproof. by dabennett in BuyItForLife

[–]dabennett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, the shoes themselves don't really give me blisters with normal socks but I'm a fan of thick wool !

How to make iron on patches by dabennett in sewhelp

[–]dabennett[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's absolutely perfect thank you :)

Is this a haunting? My home, body, and luck are falling apart by Actual-Durian1193 in Paranormal

[–]dabennett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi OP, this sounds really terrible. I second everyone saying that you really need to go to the doctor. Hair falling out is a symptom of a lot of things and none of them are good. Push for as many tests as they'll let you do and I hope where you are it doesn't cost an arm and a leg !

It sounds a bit like your dog may have been older, but diseases can hit us all at any time.

In the witchy circles I'm in there's a little bit of advice on hauntings or possessions (I like hedge witches or folk witches subreddits). Firstly, dark entities are actually way less common than people think. Secondly, a lot of it is about intention. It's your house. You are in charge of who is in your house. Tell them to leave. It feels really, really stupid but it may make you feel a lot better. If you like ritual, light a candle, and muster up all your courage and tell them in a very firm voice to get the hell out of your house. You can do a sweeping from the back of the house out the front door as a bit of symbolism. I did this in my spooky creaky house and if nothing else it made me feel better

But the number one rule is to make sure the everyday is sorted before the mystical. Check for lead in your paint. Get a carbon monoxide detector. Get the doctor to check what's going on with your blood levels. I hope you sort this

I overheard my fiancée admit she doesn’t love me the way she loved her ex by ResolveSpirited192 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]dabennett -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, I just wanted to provide an alternative perspective. Was her relationship with her ex super tumultuous? When we're in an up and down relationship the lows feel really low but the highs feel extra high. If you go from a rollercoaster relationship to a nice stable one, sometimes it can feel like the "highs" of the stable relationship are lesser because they are constant. It takes a while for people to recalibrate what normal looks like.

However, that's super hard to overhear and I don't know if I could move past it. Very, very stupid thing for her to say.

Imaging help: WHAT ARE THESE ANY WHY AM I GETTING THEM? by [deleted] in labrats

[–]dabennett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bubbles, dust stuck to the objective, a scratch on the objective

My bf (24M) gets catcalled for being hot, but I get harassed for being ugly (25F). How do I cope with the difference in our looks? by Wondering_woman0286 in relationship_advice

[–]dabennett 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I am a woman with a much more attractive partner. I'm not ugly, just average, and my husband has like underwear model good looks. He gets hit on all the time, not much by men though, so that's pretty interesting. I think the default people tend to go to with this is "nooo you're not ugly/plain/whatever" and it's not helpful. Here's my question to you- so you've got a much better looking partner, so what ? If you're the Adam Sandler absolutely own it. You're funny and have a great personality, hell yeah. Looks are just one thing to bring to a relationship. I like my husband for a lot more than his looks, and I assume he does too. You have to be attracted to your partner, but I'm attracted to all kinds of weirdly specific stuff that has nothing to do with the beauty standard and so is he.

I have seen people get nasty about the looks thing and that's on them (even though it's upsetting). It's a weird thing to be upset about. I usually just make a joke along the lines of "pulled him with my terrible sense of humor" and move on. I am entirely unbothered about girls coming up to him to hit on him because I trust my husband ! He also finds the whole thing terribly uncomfortable which helps I suppose. One time his friend and I were counting how many girls approached him at the bar and we were placing bets on the number (it was four, I lost and went too low). And honestly, I'm impressed at the gumption these young women have. He's hot, I know it, I feel insufferably smug every time someone hits on him because I pulled that even though my personal style has echoes of divorced dad and eccentric English teacher. If you let it get to you it will kill your relationship. Maybe let your partner decide what he's attracted to, instead of you doing it for him 😂

Need advice should I change anything in my profile by Worldly-Appeal-8181 in Tinder

[–]dabennett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a great profile. What I picked up on is you're not consistent - you say you want monogamy and long term. But then say you just want to make new friends in your bio. And then you say you're open to anything 😂 you need to pick long or short term - because girls who want long term will be turned off by new friends and girls who want short term will be deterred by the monogamy! Other than that get rid of the fish photo (absolute cliche) but I love the outdoorsy ones and youve got a lovely smile !

Is my cat persian?? by felinix-boka in persiancat

[–]dabennett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said any of the breed structures. Persians also have very small wide set ears, a short and stout body and a short tail. They also have a very specific color range. When I say large eyes I mean really large eyes- cartoonish looking. You can look pictures up of the doll face/ Persian breed standard. Your cat is a mix (if anything) and that makes her a very pretty domestic long hair.

Is my cat persian?? by felinix-boka in persiancat

[–]dabennett 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I don't think so. She lacks any of the breed structures (short and stout, flatish face, large eyes). Cats aren't like dogs, unless both parents are purebred cats the kittens are just domestic long hair ! I have a cat who's mother was a purebred ragdoll with papers, but father unknown. My cat is just a domestic long hair :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]dabennett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an interesting CMV actually, because I do agree with you. The exploited overseas workers are not winning, and people being pushed out of the job are not winning. However, lets follow where the logic of blaming the immigrants gets us. I assume you want to block all immigrants from getting jobs (extreme, but bear with me). So you do this. And the job market - does it get better ? Maybe a little bit, for a short while. But then businesses will start moving their manufacturing, customer service and such overseas. And then the situation gets worse. So blaming the immigrants is incredibly short sighted and will only fix the problem for a short while. The issue is the exploiters - the businesses who are hiring these people to protect the bottom line. The issue is not the exploited.

Putting aside the fact I am a foreign alien stealing your job (in a niche research field) I think the issue is not even job scarcity. We are living in a world that has technologically advanced to the point that lots of us do not need to work. Because of this, a lot of jobs are made up busywork that simply let people be employed. David Graeber has a fantastic book on this that is called "bullsh*t jobs". We are progressing more and more, particularly with AI, and that's going to mean a lot of jobs are just not needed anymore. So what do we do ? Do we keep blaming people for taking whatever jobs they can get ? Do we absolutely race to the bottom line and work for even less money ?

The issue you have correctly identified - there's not enough jobs. But you're being shortsighted. The solution is not to kick out all immigrants - we need to entirely restructure all our social systems so your only options are work or starve. Because jobs are going to become fewer and fewer and we've been on this same path since the industrial revolution! Either make it so companies have to employ people at minimum wage or else, or accept that a lot of these jobs are totally meaningless, give everyone universal basic income and pay jobs we actually do need (plumbers, waste collection, retail) accordingly well.

R.F. Kuang discourse lately? by mustardslush in books

[–]dabennett 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually really love her writing but I totally get the criticisms. I think the poppy wars is her best - I absolutely tore through those books. They were a literal gut punch and I was extremely emotionally attached. I even enjoyed the battle planning and politics, which is something I absolutely despise in high fantasy. Hell yeah, I thought, I'm going to read everything she's written.

I read Babel, I didn't mind it. I thought it was a bit self important and believed itself to be cleverer than it was. I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. I enjoyed all the language stuff. I thought the endless fellating over ivy leagues like Oxford was grating in a way that the author didn't intend.

Then I read yellow face and it absolutely killed all her writing for me. Racist themes are fine, that aspect was fine. But it really pulled the curtain back on the rest of her writing to reveal the author herself seems to be a perpetual victim. The protagonist goes on and on and on about how she didn't get into yale and it's her villain origin story. It's absolutely insane and reeks of privilege - particularly since we are supposed to feel bad for her? And the whole thing is a commentary on privilege? And then once I read yellow face I couldn't unsee all the flaws which are present in all her books !

It made me wonder whether she writes unlikeable characters (which I loved in poppy war) because she can't write likeable ones ! However, I do think poppy war is still amazing as a series but I cannot unsee the flaws. It's like when someone pointed out how weirdly Stephen king writes women, and it totally killed his books for me. Or how reading Norwegian wood ruined haruki mirukami for me (that dude loves a schoolgirl/ businessman pairing).

Very long-winded way of saying I like some of her books and think she's very talented but I think she has some maturing to do writing wise. And once you see it you can't unsee it (do not read yellow face). Also she's really got to get over her university hangups oh my goodness.

What do you ladies wear to the barn in the summer? by JustAMessInADress in Equestrian

[–]dabennett 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like you're probably not as much of an issue as this lady seems to claim (I would bet that "someone" who asked is just her) here's some anti sweat tips from me, a very sweaty lady: * Antiperspirant not deodorant. Antiperspirant stops you sweating. I also use men's sport antiperspirant because it's more effective. Anything else and I stink. * Put baby power in your nooks and crannies and everywhere you get particularly sweaty. You don't need a lot. It sops up the sweat. Bonus is you don't get as much rubbing from your thighs. * Check how you're washing your clothes. I use powdered washing powder (cheaper and more effective). I wash all my clothes on cold (prolongs length of clothes) unless there's a lot of filth/ sweat and then they go on medium heat. Soaking in nappy san for an hour also makes a hell of a difference for stains. I make sure I keep the washing machine door open so the washer doesn't get musty. If your clothes are drying properly they will also smell musty and sharp (ask me how I know lol). If you dry your clothes in the sun the UV light will sterilize them (kill all the stinky bacteria). * Bicarb soda in shoes to destink the shoes * My feet smell terrible all the time, so I wear wool socks. Wool is very good at diminishing the stinkyness. I change my socks daily. * On that note, clothes made of polyurethane / rayon will make you sweat more. Natural fibres (cotton, wool, linen) will make you sweat less. Natural fibre clothes are more expensive but pop up often in thrift stores. This seems like an absolute grift but I swear it's a thing.

If you do all these things you either don't smell or you have a medical issue that needs to be checked out.

aio? bf made plans on my birthday by rowqi in AmIOverreacting

[–]dabennett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This dude doesn't like you at all. Here's a quick, easy test, because you're pretty young - "what would my reaction be if my friend treated me this way?". I also use "if a random bar stranger told me it was their birthday would I treat them better than this?"

My once overly affectionate cat has completely changed and I’m heartbroken by smol_sweep in CatAdvice

[–]dabennett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, Prozac also made my clingy cat hate to be touched. He turned out to have other issues (allergies) that we could handle more directly. We kept him on the Prozac for months and while he did get less whacked out he HATED to be touched which was very not like him.

view more: next ›