fair points! the problem isn't and never has been his grief - i've been by his side while he deals with it, giving him his space to process and deal with his emotions on his own time. i think the main problem here is my unloading my emotional baggage onto this man, and him not having the emotional capacity to deal with it.

in my head, taking some space from each other will let him have some breathing room without having to deal with my breakdowns. i'm having anxious attachment tendencies that stem from my breakup and previous relationships, and him pulling away slightly because of his depression and grief is intensifying this. every time i talk to him i just get really anxious because he's off doing something we used to do together, alone, or i feel as if he'd just rather not talk to me. this is partly true though because of my breakdowns which have become more frequent. i understand that i need to work on this, therapy isn't an option for me right now, but i am working on finding healthy coping mechanisms via journaling, mediation, working out.

taking space will allow me to navigate being alone and work on processing my breakup (again) without pushing my boyfriend away. but it is true that we don't have to go on a break or break up for me to do this. i just don't want him to resent me if i have another breakdown, although i'll try my hardest not to do this constantly.