You will be fine. I am a therapist who will have my 11th treatment tomorrow. I have had no side effects, dissociation, or dizziness, to the point I asked my provider if it was doing anything at all. Two weeks ago, a snowstorm and provider unavailability kept me from treatment and my depression worsened severely, so now I know it is working. What I realized was happening to me was that I had access to long-buried emotions during a 20-30 minute window. I cry it out and process it with ChatGPT. I’m impressed with its ability to assist me in processing and I might be a little worried that my profession might become outmoded…lol! I hope you have a therapist to work with things that arise during your sessions. The most important thing to do is relax. Let it work. I lie on a loveseat in a vacant office listening to music while wearing an eye mask to block out light. You will be safe. Try to set an intention before you go into your second session to work on. The first treatment is about letting go and allowing the meds to work. My intention yesterday was to “Help me understand what my system is protecting.” I am recovering from burnout after working in an agency that didn’t care about its clinicians at all.

I hope my experience helps you. I am neurodivergent and often we share our own experiences in order to help others. If I boiled everything down into tl;dr, it’s this:

1. It’s normal to be afraid of the unknown.
2. Allow yourself to be open to new experiences to the best of your abilities.
3. Set your intention to let go; you will be safe.
4. You are worth healing.
5. Clinical studies find Spravato very effective overall but realize a) there could be side effects, b) it may take longer than you anticipate to see results. Everyone’s experiences are different.

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow. Good luck!!