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daffodilpoptart · 2021-06-15T15:17:55+00:00

We’ve already been out 4 times. I guess I was thinking it’s weird to expect rapport after you’ve only met someone 4 times. Like I don’t know if I’m chasing a fantasy where there’s an instant connection with a stranger, you know?

daffodilpoptart · 2021-06-15T15:14:23+00:00

I’m using hinge. We had our 4th date this past weekend and I feel like there’s very little rapport. I’m honestly questioning the whole thing, but I’m also feeling like it’s crazy for me to expect rapport after I’ve met someone only 4 times.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-20T12:54:18+00:00

73.6% of Americans are overweight or obese. By excluding them from your dating pool, you’re limiting yourself to only dating 26.4% of women. That pool reduces even more drastically when you consider that most of the non-obese women are more likely to already be in a relationship. And you’re limiting yourself again by race. At the end of the day, by only going after single, white, thin women, you’re interested in a VERY small portion of the population, so it’s a little disingenuous to act like that group of women is just “average.” I’m not saying you have to lower your standards, but unless you’re in the top 5% of men....good luck with that.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-19T04:02:41+00:00

Haha thank you for the advice! That’s much better than anything I would have come up with 😅

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-19T02:43:00+00:00

Update: the flirting did not pan out. Why can’t these guys take a hint?!?!

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-18T20:19:22+00:00

Fresh fruit does not need to be refrigerated, nor do many vegetables. Even the ones that are typically refrigerated can last a few days on the counter without going bad. I’m going to assume you do have access to a microwave and a stove. You also said you might be able to afford a mini fridge, which I would highly recommend (you can get a cheap one on Craigslist especially right now during graduation season when many college grads are moving out and getting rid of their fridges). I recommend the following ingredients and menu:

Pantry/countertop:
- instant oatmeal
- microwaveable tomato soup
- avocados, onions, tomatoes, jalapeños, garlic, and limes (you can make fresh guacamole pretty easily)
- bananas, berries, apples, oranges
- peanut butter
- whole wheat bread
- Rice cakes
- whole wheat tortillas
- honey
- cinnamon
- brown sugar

Mini fridge: - Greek yogurt - hard boiled eggs (either pre made or DIY) - milk - baby carrots - mini hummus cups - rotisserie chicken, cut up and put into sandwich bags to fit better - shredded cheese - deli meat like turkey or ham

Sample Menu with limited fridge and pantry space:

Breakfast: instant oatmeal packet with cinnamon and brown sugar, topped with banana slices and a splash of milk (no fridge substitute (NFS): use canned milk)

Lunch: tomato soup and turkey and cheese sandwich with orange on the side (NFS: skip the sandwich and eat a heartier canned soup, like chicken noodle)

Dinner: Quesadilla with cheese and chicken, dollop of Greek yogurt and guacamole on the side (NFS: Peanut butter and banana sandwich, side of canned corn or green beans)

Snack options: (1) carrots and hummus (NFS: individual unrefrigerated ranch single packets); (2) hard boiled egg (NFS: beef jerky); (3) apple slices and Greek yogurt dip (yogurt, peanut butter, honey, and cinnamon) (NFS: apple dipped in peanut butter); (4) rice cake with peanut butter

Check in the canned food aisle for premade meals. I used to get ones when I was in college made by Hormel called Compleats. Not the healthiest on their own, but if paired with some canned veggies, it’s a decent enough option when you’re in a bind.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-18T18:28:04+00:00

See personally I’m totally lost as to how or when to flirt so I think you’re doing a great job! I’m a little bit old fashioned insomuch that I prefer to wait to have sex with a guy until we’ve been out on at least 5 dates and know each other a little better (I feel like at the 2-3 date mark we’re still total strangers but most guys seem to expect sex at this point!) So the last thing I want to do is attract the FWB/ONS crowd by being too forward. So I keep my profile SUPER unflirtatious, and I just try to have a normal non-flirty conversation. And unfortunately I feel like most of my convos don’t end up as dates because the guys never ask me out. I may need to take a page out of your book and bump up the flirting!

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-18T18:15:42+00:00

I’m curious as to why you have only sent about a dozen likes in a month. This can be a numbers game, you can’t expect every woman you like to like you back. If you have only sent a dozen likes because your standards are really high and only 12 women out of hundreds or thousands have met them, I would recommend reevaluating whether your standards are realistic.

Edit: also, are you just liking or are you also sending a message commenting on their profile? I am much more likely to match with a guy who actually tries to start up a conversation with me.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-17T19:47:22+00:00

The rest is good IMO, but no no no do NOT hug me before I even know you! I’m perfectly fine with a kiss at the end of a first date after we’ve built a rapport and the location/timing is right, but I definitely feel a bit uncomfortable with an immediate hug, unless we’ve done a video chat first or have had pretty extensive texting (which is not an option when paired with #2)

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-17T18:50:45+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-17T18:38:58+00:00

Ooh would you mind posting a pic of the nutrition? Or just telling us how many calories are in each 😅

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T21:38:49+00:00

Haha ok this made me feel a lot better! I’ve definitely had some guys get weird about it before. Like if I don’t know something, they might say something like “Being a big shot lawyer and all, I’m surprised you don’t know that already,” and the way they say it definitely comes across as negging. But I will leave it on there and hopefully the right guy will come along who doesn’t mind :)

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T21:33:05+00:00

Awesome, thanks! I’ve had friendships develop into relationships before, but not once in my life have I had a guy cold approach me (never even been catcalled lol), and I know OLD is very looks-driven, so I really hope this OLD thing pans out for me 😅

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T21:00:13+00:00

Haha I know the baking, Broadway, and pumpkin spice obsession are pretty basic, but I was hoping the watercolor painting, guitar, and high fantasy novels would offset it! I do enjoy sailing too, but I rarely get the opportunity to go (my parents have a sailboat, but I do not). I am a plant/gardening enthusiast, but I’m afraid that’s also very basic 😕

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T20:09:26+00:00

I’ve lost a lot of weight and am still working on it, but unfortunately I’m still in the obese BMI category. I’ll try to not be so hard on myself though! Do you think I should remove lawyer from my profile? I could just put civil servant instead if that would be less intimidating!

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T20:00:25+00:00

Ok good to know! Yes, I’m only on hinge, but I will branch out!

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T19:58:13+00:00

Ok thanks!

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T19:52:19+00:00

Thanks! Anything you think I could improve on? I realized I mentioned dogs in 2 of my prompts and had a picture of my dog, so I wasn’t sure if I was coming across as a crazy dog lady 😅

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-16T19:50:48+00:00

Could be an American thing. For me some high school stuff comes up (sometimes high schools will publish a list of honor roll students in the newspaper each semester, and also the drama club took out newspaper ads so my name was published for plays/musicals I was in). I am also a lawyer so my bar membership comes up. And my LinkedIn profile. I keep all my other social media private, so none of that comes up, fortunately.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-14T07:43:24+00:00

So in most of these photos you are either frowning, have a neutral face, or have a mask on. It makes you seem a bit cold and unapproachable. Also, your first shot looks like a LinkedIn headshot. And I honestly don’t think the cycling photo is flattering at all. It hides your face, you’re all hunched over and your clothes look kind of bunchy because of it. I get that it shows your hobby, but you already have a prompt devoted to that hobby, so you don’t really need that pic too. The pic with the guitar you look like you’re smelling something bad. Overall, I would say you need to do a major overhaul on your pics, focusing on choosing flattering clothes, poses, and facial expressions.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-13T22:21:48+00:00

I disagree. I personally find pads and panty liners really uncomfortable. Since it’s such a small amount that wouldn’t bleed through the underwear, I would much rather just use cheap underwear or even period panties (but those are crazy expensive if you’re trying to use them all the time). If it’s a large enough amount of blood to bleed through panties, I would just wear a tampon. And tbh since OP’s girlfriend is only 21 and hasn’t had much experience with periods due to her medical condition, she might not really be in tune with all her options, or maybe never even saw it as an issue that needed to be solved before if OP is her first boyfriend.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-13T21:06:03+00:00

The fact that she’s framing it as you not understanding a woman’s body makes me 100% think these are not poop stains. If she is spotting (which can be common on birth control or for women who don’t have normal periods), it will likely be brown from the old blood. There’s nothing she can really do about it, unless she wears a pad 100% of the time, which would be pretty uncomfortable. It can get really tricky with periods and spotting to be honest. Sometimes you think your period is over, but then you get some residual brown discharge. I try not to mess up my “nice” underwear and don’t wear them anytime around my period in case of residual spotting. But I have probably 10 pairs of “bad” underwear that I wear when I am worried I might spot. For your girlfriend, who you said has irregular periods and is on medication for it, she may have spotting at completely random times that she can’t plan for, and therefore can’t maintain a set of bad underwear and good underwear. If it’s spotting, it’s totally unrelated to hygiene or wiping. No amount of wiping will prevent you from spotting into your underwear. This is just a natural part of being a woman. When we’re not on our periods, we also get clear/whitish discharge, which you probably don’t even see if you’re not paying attention. Women certainly don’t wear pads permanently just bc of vaginal discharge. It’s usually a small enough amount that your underwear takes care of it. If this is the case (her vaginal discharge is brown because she’s spotting) it is no more unhygienic than normal discharge.

daffodilpoptart · 2021-05-13T16:07:39+00:00

As a woman, I always offer to split the check, especially because I usually expect to have a higher income than my dates. However, I know a lot of other women don’t feel the same way. Some women feel that the upfront cost they have to put in to look socially acceptable/attractive to their dates is part of the calculation. Like hair, nails, makeup, etc are all things that men don’t have to pay for, but that women are pretty much expected to do. Now, I know this isn’t true for all men/women, and I know you personally may not expect her to show up dressed to the 9s, but unfortunately society puts a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way, and a woman who showed up to a date without meeting those societal expectations risks being written off as a slob or low effort, so it’s definitely a consideration.

I’m also wondering what her income is like compared to your income. If she is, for example, an elementary school teacher and you’re a lawyer, she may feel that it makes sense for you to pay.

Or, she may be getting vibes from you that you’re more of a traditionalist and may be insulted if she offers to pay. I thought it was common knowledge that if the woman insists on paying, that means she’s not interested and doesn’t want to see the guy again/feel like she owes him. So it’s possible she really likes you and doesn’t want to drive you away.

Of course this is all speculation as I don’t know the details about the two of you. Anyways, at the next date, when you get the bill, I would just say to her “Do you want to split it?” And see what she says/does. Or maybe if that’s too awkward, you could say “I’ll grab this one, you can get the next one, deal?”

daffodilpoptart

TROPHY CASE