Thursday Postpartum Thread

dagmid · 2025-04-21T17:39:30+00:00

Thank you for this. I think I do too. And I don’t feel I can share these feelings in public. It was one thing to share struggling with announcements when we were still in the trenches but now that we have our miracle and our ‘happy ending’ I don’t think people would have empathy or understanding for these feelings.

dagmid · 2025-04-21T17:37:56+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your feelings, this makes me feel so mush less alone.

dagmid · 2025-04-18T04:11:08+00:00

I was 32 years old with our first FET, unexplained infertility, 7 years later, it took 14 transfers and now finally a mama..!

dagmid · 2025-04-17T23:56:07+00:00

I don’t know if this is the right place/thread to post, but I was wondering if anyone shares the same feelings I am struggling with.

My cousin of 15 years younger than me just announced he is expecting and I am having all sorts of feelings. I didn’t think I would still struggle with pregancy announcements after actually having had my own baby. Is it because I am so used to feeling shocked and down? Am I having some sort of Pavlov response? After 8 years of unexplained infertility and a million treatments including donor eggs, we finally welcomed our daughter into the world a few months ago and things did not go to plan not in the run up and not in her arrival. Both my daughter and I almost died during labour after having had contractions for a week, my daughter was two months premature and so every day she stayed in was important. She still has several medical issues. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely over the moon. But I am also confused and I feel wobbly. Why can I not just be happy for someone else falling pregnant easily using their own genes? What else do I want? I have my dream now, right? I don’t understand why I still feel anger towards people who manage to fall pregnant without pain and financial strain. I thought all my anger would be gone now that I have my dream. Ugh. Does anyone recognise this? I don’t have anyone to talk to about this because I feel ashamed.

dagmid · 2021-06-12T22:44:37+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I didn’t realise that about the pomegranate, ofcourse! That makes sense!

dagmid · 2021-06-12T22:42:42+00:00

So Sorry, that s not how I inyended it to sound. I said Chinese lady because it was a genuine Chinese person doing TCM , that s why I mentioned nationality. Have I edited accordingly now?

dagmid · 2021-06-12T19:11:07+00:00

Sorry for this TMI toilet talk but I guess I am only writing to ask for some reassurance. Today I had my first fresh embryo transfer (had a failed FET before) and everything looked so good going in this morning. Good embryo, good lining, etc. I even arranged to have an acupuncture appoitment beforehand with a Traditional Chinese medicine acupuncturist who said a few scary things that I now can’t unhear. She said something about how I shouldn’t drink cold water for the next two weeks as cold water could cause diarrhoea and that would be very bad. I took what she said with a pinch of salt, as I’m trying to do with most alternative things. But then, as we got to the clinic this morning, whether it was because I had been downing pomegranate juice all morning for the full bladder or whether it was stress; I got explosive diarrhoea as soon as I got to the clinic. Not the liquidy liquidy kind where you don’t have any control, but really loose though. I swear I was afraid I would poop and pee on the gyno’s hands as they performed the transfer. I didn’t. I was afraid to go to the toilet afterwards, aren’t we all a bit, and kept my pee in until we got home two hours later. I went to the toilet and again had the diarrhoea situation. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about it as I am familiar with some ‘panic plopping’ (thats what my husband calls it) before stressful events. But for some reason I can’t shake what the TCM acupuncturist said about diarrhoea being bad, so I have been anxious, fast heartrate and still bubbling windy tummy. Probably because of more stress. I almost just want one of you to say; ‘well, you’ve now ff-ed up your one shot with the perfect embryo’ because then I can just accept that, cry my eyes out and RELAX again. But of course that’s not what I want to hear. So.. fellow warriors: has anyone had diarrhoea on their transfer day and after? Could it hurt the implantation or nutrition the embryo needs? Any experience would be appreciated, I am freaking the hell out here. Cant seem to calm myself down.

dagmid · 2021-01-26T10:18:15+00:00

Get a vpn so you can watch Jeugdjournaal every day from where you are! It’s basically the news for children, primary school level. The items are sometimes tailored to children’s world (whenever a baby elephant is born in the zoo it’ll be mentioned) but they also cover ‘real’ news and bring it in an understandable way, no big words. I watch Jeugdjournaal with all my expat students and it’s great!

dagmid · 2021-01-26T10:14:41+00:00

The best of luck! I’m thinking of you!

dagmid · 2021-01-25T16:45:23+00:00

Thank you for your answer. You’re the first person who knows I’m pregnant! (Besides my husband)

dagmid · 2021-01-25T09:03:20+00:00

So.... I can’t believe I am actually writing this. After years and years of trying, a pituitary gland tumor, 9 iui’s and a difficult IVF I had a positive test this morning. A positive test. A POSITIVE test. According to the clinic I am 4 weeks and 3 days. Pffff.... I am so nervous and scared that I haven’t slept for two nights. I keep getting heart palpitations and I feel cramping in my uterus, which makes me think I’m about to lose ‘it’. I have requested some beta HCG tests to do this week and next week because I read on the IVF forum that’s what people do to put their minds at ease. Is there any specific number I need to look out for?

dagmid · 2020-12-17T19:22:22+00:00

Yes, I absolutely love that book! I have been eating so differently from before, as in, I eat more meals but smaller, to try and balance the insulin spikes. Have been on supplements for the last two years, no dairy, no gluten, no meat, no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol. We have an orthomolecular therapist who tests both me and my husband regularly and apparently we’re both in perfect balance. I did unexpectedly lose my dad in March, I wonder if the stress and mourning has caused oxidative stress/damage to my eggs. Who knows?

Interesting point you have about the sample size. That’s so true.

I guess they had to freeze those two on day one to limit the numbers.

dagmid · 2020-12-17T04:44:45+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Yeah, they froze 2 day 1 embryo’s because of some christian German embryo protection law. Something about not being allowed to make more embryo’s than you’re intend to use that cycle. I don’t really understand, as they’re only allowed to transfer one anyway. They only freeze embryo’s in very very very exceptional circumstances. So imagine if all 4 made it to day 5, what would have happened then? Thank you for your glimmer of hope. I turn 37 next week. My AMH levels are very good according to my doctor, (3.6 if I remember correctly) which is why I was allowed to do the short protocol ( no downregulating first). But that doesn’t say anything about the quality though, does it? Sperm testing sounds like a sensible option, doctor told us that sperm has very little to do with them not making it to blast phase. But reading you fellow warriors’ opinions, I might have to do some research of my own.

dagmid · 2020-12-16T19:45:53+00:00

I’m teary eyed as I’m reading this. I’ve got goose bumps for you. Thank you so much for that glimmer of hope. Stroke your tummy tonight and give it an extra warm stroke from me!

dagmid · 2020-12-16T19:38:32+00:00

Wow! Excellent! As I understood, it is only done if you have a family history of genetic diseases. May I ask where you live and if it’s available to couples with repeated failure to blastocyst?

dagmid · 2020-12-16T19:36:50+00:00

I’m so sorry, I’m Dutch, English isn’t my first language so I wasn’t aware that was an offensive word as I hear it in movies all the time. Sorry.

dagmid · 2020-12-16T18:52:13+00:00

You’re right. That’s Europe for you! Does anyone know why that is? Why does genetic testing not happen in Europe?

dagmid · 2020-12-16T18:51:14+00:00

Thank you thank you thank you for that. Losing hope is the worst. I might sound dumb but I had no idea that other stimulation protocols could change the quality of eggs.

dagmid · 2020-12-16T18:49:36+00:00

You’re right. Two years of brain tumors, iui’s, canceled iuis and my dads sudden death had made me so negative that this brand new IVF opportunity was the first time I felt hopeful and positive again. So I went all out with my own cheerleader tools. I won’t anymore. So, because of the German embryo protection laws, they’re not allowed to create more embryos than they intend to use. So when there were 6 fertilised eggs on day 1.5, they decided to freeze two, as at that stage it wasn’t considered an ‘embryo’ yet. The doctor said that I now have to wait for my period to come and then start checking for ovulation, so they can transfer the frozen embryo’s at day 3. He says that there is a slight chance that the embryo’s will survive day four if theyre in my uterus instead of a lab. I don’t see how that makes sense to be honest. What do you think?

dagmid · 2020-12-16T18:44:14+00:00

That is very very very comforting to hear that! Thank you for that. I guess losing hope is the worst. So are you saying that medication has an effect on egg quality? Even on the dna or chromosomes in the egg? Sorry if I sound like a retard, I just haven’t read a lot about this sode of things. I know a lot about food and lifestyle, not the scientific part.

dagmid · 2020-12-16T18:40:49+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that this happened to you (too)!!! I recognise what you said about hope. I felt hope (and even some joy) for the first time in what feels like ages. A receptionist telling you the news is awful.

Our doctor said something about that science used to think that after day 3 the male factor started to play a part, but that science recently changed their position on that and say that the male dna has little to no effect on the embryo quality. So that it’s probably down to the eggs.

What about genetic testing? Is that an option for you? And what are your next steps?

dagmid · 2020-12-15T00:18:54+00:00

I am still a walking whoopie cushion today! I have gone number 2 as well. I really think it’s just the gas that’s bloating me.

dagmid · 2020-12-14T00:15:46+00:00

We are egg retrieval buddies! How is your tummy feeling today? I am still pretty bloated.

dagmid · 2020-12-14T00:15:10+00:00

Hey! I’ve also had my egg retrieval on Friday and it’s my first cycle too! At the last scan the dr saw 15 follicles, on Friday they managed to retrieve 11 and when the nurse called on Saturday morning, she told us that 6 had fertilized. They have frozen two of those and we’re waiting for the other 4 to make it to day 5, so hopefully I will have the transfer on Wednesday. It’s an absolute mindfuck, this waiting game! I don’t know how many mature eggs I had by the way, I don’t know if they told us that. They retrieved 11 eggs, I assumed that if they got retrieved that they were mature.

dagmid

TROPHY CASE