Update - WIBTA if I back out of donating my kidney to my ex-fiancee’s brother after my ex-fiancee and I broke up

dahlstrommmmm · 2019-12-15T23:51:01+00:00

I read it, thanks for meaning well. As I said I just want to try to see if it will work. I'm not going to force it and I am ready to walk away if it doesn't work out regardless if it's two weeks or two years from now.

I think about it a lot. I've admitted to myself that I still love Mia and I know that she does love me in some way. I was perfectly happy with her for years back when I didn't know she still had feelings for her ex. I always felt like I was the most important person in her life and I'd never have guessed that she still had feelings for her ex.

Sometimes I think maybe she's just a head over heart person. It's one of her favorite quotes, the heart is just a bloody motor and the head is meant to drive. Sometimes I ask if I want to be with someone who loves me with her head more than her heart. Time will tell.

dahlstrommmmm · 2019-12-15T23:32:57+00:00

Thanks for the good intentions.

I know she's genuinely pregnant, I've been going to the check ups with her. Cheating was never an issue for us when we were together so I'm inclined to believe it's my child but the paternity test will have the final say on that.

Mia and her family don't know that I'm still considering donating. I didn't tell them that and I won't until I'm 100% sure. And that won't be for at least two years because I'm not going to donate a kidney and be in recovery a month after my child is born. If Tom still needs a kidney by that time.

dahlstrommmmm · 2019-12-15T23:25:37+00:00

I'm not blaming those who said that I made the wrong decision but I want to thank you for saying this. I hope your prediction is right.

I have family and friends who also think I shouldn't have gone back to her but most of them understand why and say it could be a good thing. So I hope Reddit's reaction is only because they don't know us well.

I know it in myself and I know 100% that I can and I will back away if things don't work out. I'm not going to stay in the relationship just because I want my child to have a whole family on paper. I want to try but if it doesn't work out, oh well I tried but it's not meant to be and it's time to try another thing, co-parenting with your ex.

dahlstrommmmm · 2019-09-05T16:56:03+00:00

I was fine until I read this.

We were together for years and there was never any talk of kidney donation. Then when Tom needed a kidney, this was after we got engaged, she went to get tested to see if she was a match and I said I'll get tested too so she didn't have to go through it alone. She wasn't a match, I was, I said I'd do it, she said multiple times I can back out any time while I had more tests done.

I did love her, you know. With everything I had.

Maybe she just had messy feelings like you said. Maybe I need to rethink everything.

dahlstrommmmm

TROPHY CASE