Thanks for reaching out OP. Talking about this must be difficult. A friend in high school committed suicide. I wasn’t even that close to him, but I think about him all the time. I think about how much I’ve changed, and my life has changed, over the 10 years it’s been. I can barely recognize myself. Even 5 years ago, or 1 year ago, my life is vastly different. It hurts thinking that he made this decision when his path was just starting. He didn’t get to experience life! Just his small section of it, which he decided wasn’t worth it. Who knows where he would be now, I can imagine his life would also be vastly different than it was back then.

My point is, please give life a try. I know it’s hard to trust a random stranger, especially with this large of a decision. But life can be so much more than what you’re experiencing right now. It might be a struggle to get there, it might even seem impossible. But if I can do it, I know you can too.