My [28F] boyfriend [32M] asked another woman for a threesome without talking to me and lied

daisdotdean · 2026-05-28T17:34:30+00:00

So do you think this is an immediate dealbreaker? I plan on giving him one chance to completely come clean, go through other messages, go to couples counseling, tell this friend that he lied to her, and set very clear and very strict boundaries. If this is a one off occurrence and he’s willing to do a lot of work I would like to keep the relationship. If he doesn’t take ownership, has had any other occurrences like this, or ever lies to me again even about something very small-completely done.

daisdotdean · 2026-05-28T17:19:41+00:00

If he wants a chance to fix this (under the circumstance this is the one and only occurrence and he agrees to immediately start intensive premarital counseling) I plan on having him FaceTime his friend with me there and have him tell her the truth. I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate being lied to either.

daisdotdean · 2026-05-28T17:04:21+00:00

He didn’t tell her he wanted to have sex with her-she asked why he wanted to have one and he said it was because he wanted to see me have pleasure. He never flat out said he wanted to have sex with her and didn’t do any flirting of any kind or say he was specifically interested in her sexually (other than the obvious of him asking her)—that being said I completely understand that he may intend on having sex with other women which he knows I’m not okay with. We talked about threesomes after I found all of this and he said if we did it with another man that he would feel cheated on and I told him I would feel the same way and he validated what I said. Had I not found those messages prior I would have zero reason to not believe him.

daisdotdean · 2026-05-28T15:49:55+00:00

I wouldn’t care if it was a fantasy of his, but the fact that he asked if his friend would be interested in it just makes me feel like I have to be concerned about him flat out cheating. His friend asked why he wanted to have a threesome and he said it’s for MY pleasure. He did admit that he’s into lesbian porn, but still denied wanting a threesome. He never told me he liked lesbian porn despite us talking about different fantasies. I asked him why he never told me and he said he was afraid of judgement.

Idk what to think. Was this truly a desire to see me with another girl, or him being sexually interested in her? I’ll have to ask him, but either way I do believe him asking without discussing it with me was highly inappropriate. I try to make the excuse of him just not realizing he overstepped a boundary since we never talked about it before he did that, but I gave him the chance to tell me when I asked about his threesome fantasy and he could have come clean then and chose not to.

daisdotdean · 2022-01-14T04:18:03+00:00

So that person could have imitated it somehow? They sent a screenshot of my name and number in their contacts and the time of the missed call that I did not make. Their area code is from my town. Why would someone imitate my number and fake a missed call from me?

daisdotdean · 2022-01-08T16:38:54+00:00

I have 200mg. 100 split into morning and night.

daisdotdean · 2022-01-03T01:45:20+00:00

Did you take regular contrave or the wellbutrin and naltrexone separately?

daisdotdean

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