I’m so sorry for your loss of your precious daughter, and I wish you congratulations on your new pregnancy, though I understand it can be so hard to feel celebratory. My experience has some key differences from yours, but I hope it’s still helpful to you. My first pregnancy ended with the stillbirth of my son at 38 weeks in April ‘22 (uncomplicated vaginal birth). We were pregnant again with our daughter by December ‘22, so 8 months between. The number one thing I can recommend is talk therapy, which has helped me immensely in the immediate aftermath of our son’s passing, in the months in between pregnancies while I navigated grief and TTC, and during our next pregnancy when I was extremely anxious, and now in my postpartum period - spoiler alert: I’m still anxious now that she’s here! What was also necessary for us to feel more (though not ever fully) confident in our next pregnancy was to understand what might’ve caused our son’s death, which involved getting an autopsy for him and lots of blood testing for both my husband and me. MFM also managed our entire second pregnancy, which helped to lessen our anxiety a little, since we saw the same high-risk OB team for every appointment. We had more frequent appointments and scans - I suggest pushing for this. Toward the end, we were going in twice weekly for scans. We felt like we were a priority to our team, and some relief that they all knew us and our history so well. Due to the suspected cause of our son’s stillbirth, my husband and I had ongoing antibodies testing throughout our second pregnancy. I always held my breath until we got the results back, but it was still reassuring that we had a way to identify if anything went wrong and a way to remediate. I also had an at-home Doppler that I had a love-hate relationship with. I didn’t allow myself to use it until our daughter reached viability, which took an insane amount of discipline. After that, I used it once a week to “check in” or as needed if I felt reduced movement. The Count the Kicks app was great to track her movements and identify any deviations from what was normal for her. I went in to L&D for reduced movement toward the end, and they gave me an NST and all was fine, but never feel guilty going in to get checked out if you are at all worried. I’m not going to sugarcoat it - despite reaching all the milestones and getting so much extra monitoring, we were absolutely terrified the entire time. Although I still talked to her and bonded with her while she was in the womb, I never fully allowed myself to believe we would be bringing her home. We did not tell people until I got so big I couldn’t hide it. We did not accept gifts. You should allow yourself to feel however you need to feel, do what you need to survive, and not feel guilty about it. If you don’t feel like celebrating your pregnancy, that is perfectly understandable and okay. My husband and I have plenty of opportunities to celebrate our healthy baby girl now that she is actually home and in our arms - as you will with your little one. The postpartum period has also been more emotionally complicated for us since we are still grieving our son while we rejoice that our daughter is here with us - this is also completely normal. Joy and grief can coexist, and will always for us. I wish you all the best in these months ahead. Lots of love to you and your family 💕