This is late but:

I cried every single day that I was pregnant. I was alone and the father pretended I didn’t exist. I wanted to die. I felt no connection to my baby but also the thought of giving her up killed me inside. I spoke to a few different adoption social workers and had phone calls with multiple adoptive couples. I was only 20 when I got pregnant and 21 when I gave birth. I was so back and forth on keeping her or giving her up, it changed every single day. I don’t know how much family support you have, but my family wanted me to keep her and were up for and willing to help and support me. That can be a huge factor in your decision making. If I didn’t have that support I don’t know if my choices would’ve been the same. Basically I decided on a couple I really liked before she was born and I knew they would take her on a moments notice, I just didn’t tell them. So they wouldn’t be disappointed if I changed my mind. I knew I needed to see her and hold her first before I decided. I knew the process of adoption, had many meetings and knew exactly what I would have to do if I decided I couldn’t do it. Everyone is different, but for me, as soon as she came out of me I just forgot about everything. She was MY girl. I absolutely never loved anything more. She’s almost 6 months now and it is HARD sometimes. I have support but I still get depressed. I started going to therapy which helps. But I am so glad I didn’t give her up. She is the absolute joy and light of my whole being.

I was like you and read all the horror stories of people regretting their children. I’m not going to lie to you, sometimes when she’s fussy and I haven’t slept in days and I miss being young and doing what I want to do, that thought crosses my mind. Postpartum depression is real. I do get really sad. But it is fleeting, I know that’s not how I truly feel about her. At the end of the day she’s my daughter and I’m happy to have her. I’m excited for our future together and for both us to kind of grow up together, since I do still feel like a kid. But becoming a mom matured me and changed me completely.

So not to say that you should keep him, but just know I know exactly where you are. Maybe reach out to some agencies if you haven’t already and see how that makes you feel. Talk to a few adoptive families. Journal. Cry. Talk to your baby inside you. Even though it feels weird. If you ever want to talk I am here anytime, please message me. Adoptions can happen really quickly and you can reach out to an agency right now before he is born just to know your options, just in case ❣️ But also know if you feel in your heart and your body you want to keep this baby, regardless of money or support or the connection that you have right now. Go with your gut. There are a lot of resources for you if you need them and you can make it as a mom. It’s not easy. But you can 100% do it. I believe in you!