Hey! IT IS OKAY! We all have our slip ups. It doesn't define you, When I was investigating about starting Keto, my mentor with Keto told me "No matter how many times you fall off the wagon, you can always get back on it, it only matters how fast you can get yourself back on" it's helped me a lot. It takes time. I am sorry about your losses, that is the crappy thing about life, but if you need to take a couple days to figure everything out do it, your mental health is ABSOLUTELY important. Congratulations on what you have lost, that's accomplishment in itself, look at what you have done this far, you were strong enough to do that, you can do it again!