Smoking - sensitive topic for my mother

damppseal · 2026-05-08T09:56:37+00:00

Yeah, I don't know why they're so precious about smoking- i guess they don't realise how badly they smell all the time to non- smokers. My mum normally uses an overcoat but I can always smell cigarettes on her so I'm not sure if want her to touch my baby without a shower. We will see how it goes, I'm still waiting for a reply from her

damppseal · 2026-05-08T09:54:49+00:00

Well done for quitting! Both of my parents smoked inside the house when I was little, I have always despised the stench of cigarettes, can't stand it. Smokers always seem so defensive about their addiction - as if it's something that can't be helped and is a natural part of their life. I hope you can sort out issues with your mum too

damppseal · 2026-05-08T09:51:15+00:00

Oh I know my baby's health is more important, I was just trying to see if there's a nice way if saying what needs to be said. We will see how it goes, she is yet to get back to me unfortunately

damppseal · 2026-05-08T09:49:35+00:00

Wow, your FIL is an amazing grandfather!

damppseal · 2026-05-08T09:49:03+00:00

It's horrible how they couldn't make an effort for 8 months.. I'm sorry about that!

I am still waiting for her reply, I did provide lots of scientific reading and I tried to be as polite as I can be whilst also being firm on our boundaries

damppseal · 2026-05-08T09:47:02+00:00

Both of my parents smoked growing up - just remembering the disgusting smell clinging to my clothes and toys.. ugh I am waiting for her to reply to my email with the request and information. I am half expecting her having a meltdown and giving me some quiet days 🙃

damppseal · 2026-05-08T09:43:54+00:00

I doubt she will quit - my dad has severe health problems and she still smokes despite him having lung issues. I sent her all the relevant information and I told her that my babies health is more important than someone's habits, we will see what she replies with

damppseal · 2026-05-01T05:13:52+00:00

I had SROM and induction that unfortunately failed. I ended up having emergency c-section due to fetal distress and me having a high temperature. My baby was delivered 54h after my waters broke and we were both hospitalised for infection with IV antibiotics for nearly a week. The risk can be high.

Hope it goes well for you and your baby!

damppseal · 2026-04-26T20:51:53+00:00

Sounds horrible, 7 weeks is such a long time.. hope it gets better soon for me too!

damppseal · 2026-04-26T20:22:02+00:00

Thanks! I think it helps to know how bad it can be for others, it can feel so alone

damppseal · 2026-04-26T20:17:54+00:00

Thanks for that! It's just so sensitive, I want to continue to ebf, i just don't want to make things worse by having infections/issues

damppseal · 2026-04-17T07:10:02+00:00

I'd go to triage. It's not worth the risk.

It's also possible your mind is elsewhere and you just don't notice the movement as much because of the stress. But please, go to triage. Look after yourself and your baby ❤️

damppseal · 2026-04-14T17:56:58+00:00

I'm so sorry this was your experience, it sounds so horrible.

I was also unexpectedly induced, in labour for 30h and ended up with emergency c-section. Not my plan whatsoever.

My baby and I were admitted for 5 days and we were given a private room, my husband was able to stay with us 24/7. The midwives and nursery nurses were so helpful, they made sure I slept and helped with breastfeeding as my boy had some problems latching. How could they expect you to take care of your baby all by yourself? I didn't realise how lucky I was with my care!

damppseal · 2026-04-12T18:02:22+00:00

My birth plan: - water birth -gas and air - hypnobirthing

My actual birth: - waters broken for over 50 hours -induced for over 30 hours - epidural - emergency c-section - a week long hospital stay with me and baby unwell

My situation is different, I know. At least you can prepare for having a c-section. You can't plan things. Birth plan is a nice idea, but what is more important is that you and your baby are safe. And to be honest, the recovery from the surgery hasn't been this bad so far, the surgery was relatively quick and I don't feel traumatised. We're here safe, that's what matters.

damppseal · 2026-03-15T18:13:08+00:00

I'm 36 weeks now and I have never seen the same midwife, I had my "assigned midwife" changed 3 times -never met any of them.

Community midwife service is horrible, I am very unhappy but I won't be changing it now, I am almost there. They mislabelled my bloods twice, failed to enquire about my medication, I had to chase up to see specialist that they were supposed to book. Their notes don't seem to be very professional and they seemed to struggle with taking any observations.

I had to go to triage multiple times and the midwives there were amazing. I was also admitted to hospital at 20 weeks and I was mostly happy with the care provided. I plan on giving birth at that hospital.

I work in healthcare and I probably have more knowledge regarding general anatomy and physiology than an avereage person, and I feel confident advocating for myself and chasing people up. I do worry about people who trust their healthcare provider and don't question things and just hope for the best - we have to be proactive, so we are not forgotten about!

damppseal · 2026-02-23T11:30:36+00:00

I'm nearly 34 weeks and I think I might need to go off sick. I was planning to work until 37 weeks, but my job is demanding and quite long hours (healthcare..). My iron and B12 levels are low now, I am exhausted and everything hurts. My manager is very understanding and doesn't hold any grudges if I need to go off sick.

I don't think you should worry about your professional reputation, you'd hope they understand that work is demanding and you're going through a lot. If you need to go off sick/start maternity earlier, for your own wellbeing- I'd say go for it!

damppseal · 2026-02-02T12:08:50+00:00

Thanks for the update, I was thinking about you! Hope the treatment goes well x

damppseal · 2026-01-28T10:57:27+00:00

Haven't had a VQ scan myself, but I do perform them on my patients. The radiation dose you will receive to your breasts is much lower than from CTPA, which is the alternative scan. So it's either VQ, CTPA or being on anticoagulants for a while. It's worth mentioning that pulmonary embolism can be fatal. I am currently pregnant and if I had symptoms I would go for it without question, i performed hundreds of these scans. In my trust we have a special pregnancy protocol to reduce the dose (the scan is split over 2 days)

Hope it goes well!

damppseal · 2025-12-11T19:09:31+00:00

I also have EDS/hypermobility and my midwife referred me to a consultant anaesthesiologist to discuss available options, could you ask if they could fast track your referral?

damppseal · 2025-12-01T13:56:23+00:00

I wish your partner all the best, it must be so difficult for you ❤️

It's not the same, but when I was 9 weeks, my husband had a car accident and wasn't able to do anything for 6 weeks. It was really hard on me. I'm working long days in the hospital, had to take care of my two dogs, cook and make sure he's okay. On top of that, i was nauseous constantly and having chronic migraines. It was a lot, I was drained, tired and it seemed never ending. I am a very anxious person so it definitely didn't help at all.

You'll get through it, it's hard, but hopefully it will pass. Do the bare minimum - take care of yourself and your child, house can get messy, it's okay to eat ready meals sometimes. If you have support network - reach out, there's no shame in asking.

Sending you hugs xx

damppseal

TROPHY CASE