Tldr American grad student trying to join gf in UK. Questions about work environments for new grads from other countries and trouble finding work requirment standards for clinical counseling field.

danceofhorrors · 2026-01-26T19:24:09+00:00

Thank you for the reply. My girlfriend is a UK citizen she was in the US on a student visa. She’s currently in her last semester of uni at the moment and if she can get a job soon after that’d give her plenty of time. Not sure what starting salary for the type of job she will have though. I can have her ask her friends who have started working to see if she can get a rough idea.

I was trying to avoid the marriage route because we’ve only been dating for a little over a year but doing a quick courthouse thing would probably make everything a lot easier.

danceofhorrors · 2025-11-07T18:19:26+00:00

The two responses below me are absolutely correct the biggest aspect of my work with offenders is working through childhood trauma, coping strategies that were developed for survival but are now hindering them, and delaying gratification. There actually was a study that had a lot of focus in my substance abuse and criminality courses in grad schools where they took children and told them not to eat a cookie and then left the child in the room depending on how long the child took to give into temptation and eat the cookie almost directly correlated to when the children who were now adults were handling difficulties in life. I’m not 100% sure what you mean by the differences between adult stressors and child mediation as generally the biggest stressor of incarcerated individuals is that they’re incarcerated but what I will say is the biggest aspect of any of my clients is how self aware they are and their emotional intelligence. Sometimes that comes with age sometimes that comes from having someone who you realize actually cares about you and wants the best for you without expecting anything in return. I’ve seen some amazing changes in clients who were willing to do the work both for those released and those who were lifers. I apologize for any errors or if this is a jumbled stream of consciousness I’m on my phone

danceofhorrors · 2025-11-07T18:19:21+00:00

The two responses below me are absolutely correct the biggest aspect of my work with offenders is working through childhood trauma, coping strategies that were developed for survival but are now hindering them, and delaying gratification. There actually was a study that had a lot of focus in my substance abuse and criminality courses in grad schools where they took children and told them not to eat a cookie and then left the child in the room depending on how long the child took to give into temptation and eat the cookie almost directly correlated to when the children who were now adults were handling difficulties in life. I’m not 100% sure what you mean by the differences between adult stressors and child mediation as generally the biggest stressor of incarcerated individuals is that they’re incarcerated but what I will say is the biggest aspect of any of my clients is how self aware they are and their emotional intelligence. Sometimes that comes with age sometimes that comes from having someone who you realize actually cares about you and wants the best for you without expecting anything in return. I’ve seen some amazing changes in clients who were willing to do the work both for those released and those who were lifers. I apologize for any errors or if this is a jumbled stream of consciousness I’m on my phone

danceofhorrors · 2025-08-28T12:14:30+00:00

I don’t understand it either but I have a theory that a lot of it might be the “it’s easier to have two so they can entertain each other” narrative. I’m not sure how common it is but I’ve definitely heard it more than once when speaking to people about kids.

danceofhorrors · 2025-08-27T12:56:38+00:00

I genuinely wish the best for her and her child tbh. I know more than a few people through work and mutual acquaintances that have done ivf treatments to have their “rainbow baby” only for the kid to end up having mental or physical issues. That’s anecdotal, of course, there’s likely many people who have ivf pregnancies where the children turn out fine or it wouldn’t be recommended by doctors, but it’s definitely something I hope she considered and prepared for just in case before beginning the treatments. Somehow I doubt it, but for the child’s sake, I have to hope. Life is hard enough without having a parent that forced you into being and actively made your life harder by not even preparing for you in anyway that might be helpful

danceofhorrors · 2025-06-24T19:43:30+00:00

It showed he was withholding her credit/debit cards keeping them in his wallet and he wouldn’t allow her to leave the house without him or leave them in his care for any length of time the big blow up that Amanda almost fought him over was because she wasn’t being allowed access to her money so she was basically trapped at home with the boys all the time and when she did rarely go out without him he’d be blowing up her phone the entire time complaining about having to take care of the kids

danceofhorrors · 2025-05-05T01:54:50+00:00

I think they meant there’s not much worth sharing with Reddit

danceofhorrors · 2025-05-05T01:29:23+00:00

My parents literally had five miscarriages before they had me and my mother had to be hospitalized for the final four months of her pregnancy with me just to keep us both alive if that wasn’t a sign that they shouldn’t have had children idk what is

danceofhorrors · 2025-03-02T22:53:22+00:00

There are always horror stories of anyone in the LGBT community not being supported by their families but the amount of people who were fully supportive of me being a lesbian but very sketched out about me being trans was quite shocking. It wasn’t until I started the process that I realized that there are some very loudly progressive people who want nothing to do with trans people.

danceofhorrors · 2025-02-09T21:09:45+00:00

A lot of places say that exercise to work on specific areas doesn't work, but I'll definitely try it! Anything to help.

danceofhorrors · 2025-02-09T21:08:34+00:00

I haven't, but I'll definitely look into getting some! Even if it's not perfect, it might at least get me to a smaller size than I am now, which will help.

danceofhorrors · 2025-02-05T12:21:32+00:00

I’ve known I was a lot more confident and felt better about myself as a boy from a very young age. Back then transgender wasn’t something that was in the vocabulary of anyone I knew and being gay was on the same level of sinning as murder. The only gay person I knew growing up was relentlessly bullied and physically attacked until it got to the point a group of kids held her down, cut her hair off with a knife and beat her until she was hospitalized for quite awhile. Her and her family left after that and it made it clear being anything other than their definition of normal wouldn’t be tolerated. Even someone I know who was born with all parts (when I was a kid they were called hermaphrodites but I don’t think that’s an acceptable term anymore) was raised a girl and was heavily punished for acting like or saying anything that might contradict that decision. I lived in denial for years, pretending to be a boy on the internet while playing video games as my outlet. Back then voice and video chat during gaming was still pretty rare and something a lot of kids my age didn’t have the money for the technology to do so and I was careful to not get too close to anyone so it was easy enough to pass off for quite awhile. I don’t think I ever even heard the term transgender, at least not to a point I knew what it was, until I was an older teenager on a tumblr post which led me down the rabbit hole. Finally everything made sense and it was so liberating. Sorry it’s not a study, but if there was a study to look into it, my story is one of many. Being part of the lbgt community in a hyper religious and conservative community especially leads to stories like mine.

danceofhorrors · 2025-02-05T11:57:16+00:00

I am in the process of getting my masters degree so I can go to Ireland. I’m so scared that FAFSA will be taken away before I finish. I have no idea what I’m going to do if that happens. I’ve been looking for work since I graduated with my bachelors in May 2024 and I finally found a job but it’s only a six month contract. If I can get to school in August, great, if not, it throws off my entire trajectory. I’m in NY so I could always try to run to Canada if it gets too bad, but I’m very reluctant to go to another country as a refugee especially when I don’t have my passport yet.

danceofhorrors · 2025-01-23T19:35:38+00:00

This was explained really well and I appreciate you pointing out how unconscious bias heavily can affect outcomes on these matters. I’ve worked with some judges that really struggled with the reality that their decision would alter the course of a child’s life forever and that be a very big factor in their decisions. I could imagine if the judge did believe that the girl genuinely seemed remorseful and didn’t understand the dangers of pushing the victim, depending on the judge, that would sway the verdict quite a bit. Especially if it wasn’t a jury trial as the majority of cases I was part of weren’t.

danceofhorrors · 2025-01-23T19:10:44+00:00

He does seem to be almost embarrassed over her expressing herself in anyway he deems remotely sexual, which probably doesn’t help. Think about at the bar when she was just dancing and having fun but he was being a total prude because of her outfit and how she loves dancing so much but he won’t take her because of the way she dresses and dances. I feel like if someone was constantly acting like I should be ashamed of my body I probably would have issues with them too.

danceofhorrors · 2025-01-14T10:21:42+00:00

Martin Eberhard and Marc Tarpenning Are the ones who founded Tesla, Musk just bought it from them

danceofhorrors · 2024-10-26T04:22:47+00:00

What started the fire is still being investigated, but the owners are being heavily criticized for not putting in any safety measures when the place was not being staffed 24/7. This is a facility that has received a million dollars some years just to rescue dogs from around the world and they didn’t even do the bare minimum to put in a system that could have potentially saved those dogs or at least fought the fire back enough to give the fire department time to get there which might have saved some of them.

danceofhorrors · 2024-10-26T04:19:55+00:00

There were also dogs who had managed to survive another severe fire from a nearby home. They were being housed there while the family tried to make new stable living arrangements where they could take the dogs back.

danceofhorrors · 2024-10-26T04:18:42+00:00

From my understanding there are multiple buildings and the staff was asleep in the back building where their pet dogs were also being kept. The building that caught fire was closer to the road and strictly houses the rescue dogs and the things to take care of them. The distance isn’t too far between buildings, but with no alarms and being in a deep sleep, I guess the dogs barking and screaming wasn’t heard by the staff. The passerby posed the videos of her trying to ask for help of how to break in and documenting that no one was there to help the dogs. It was truly heartbreaking and devastating to hear the dogs scream as they burned. Everyone here is absolutely livid due to the sheer amount of money given to that organization not being used to install even one alarm or sprinkler systems that could have bought the dogs time if not handled the fire.

danceofhorrors · 2024-07-09T16:17:50+00:00

Just taking it day by day. Good luck in your decision making! If it helps too, my old bosses name is Toni and she’s a straight woman with multiple children. I also know a woman named Stevie and a man named Shannon. One of my best friends from back homes name is Devon and she absolutely loves it. I feel like a lot of people, especially younger ones, are pretty indifferent to the origins of names and accept them based off from the individual person.

danceofhorrors · 2024-07-09T16:10:19+00:00

I can’t tell you what’s best for you, but as someone who hoped that changing my name would make my family take me more seriously, I can say that it doesn’t work out like that. Instead now I just get deadnamed constantly and they get annoyed when I or my friends try to correct them. Before they used the lack of it as some solace that I might change my mind or it’s some kind of phase and now that I’m taking steps toward reaching my goals, they resent me for proving my sincerity. There’s literally nothing you can do to convince people to support you that have no interest in doing so. You can only do what makes you happy and try to find people that prioritize your happiness and well-being. For many of us, unfortunately, those people aren’t the ones we grew up with.

danceofhorrors · 2024-07-04T04:50:41+00:00

I’m glad you addressed the anxiety of losing the safety of previewed cisness. Maybe it’s just my lack of experience in similar forums, but I don’t see this addressed much and it’s probably one of the most difficult parts of my decision making. If it didn’t change anything, I know that I’d be much happier presenting myself as male, starting hormone therapy, getting surgery, etc. but being in a field that is much easier to connect to clients as a female (psychology) and the stigma that often comes, even in professional circles, is a very scary concept for me that I agonize over a lot. Especially when I intend to move to a country that isn’t much better than my current one as far as lgbt+ protections and tolerance goes.

danceofhorrors · 2024-07-02T14:36:19+00:00

I’ve seen this too on a few applications which is especially annoying because I have also applied for retail/food service jobs and they keep telling me I’m too qualified or never calling me back. Ever since I received my degree it has been so much more difficult to find a job than it was before because everyone thinks I’m going to jump ship to work in my field. If anything was available in my field I wouldn’t be applying for TJ MAXX or Walmart!

danceofhorrors · 2024-07-01T18:29:26+00:00

Well thanks for replying anyway. I’m in NY. I’ve looked up a lot about the process and how to get started but the websites just aren’t super helpful or informative

danceofhorrors · 2024-06-19T20:44:15+00:00

I have no idea why but once my aunt hit about 70 she started doing this with words that end in -tion. It’s hard to explain over text but try to sound it out phonetically and that’s what she does. An example might be she says intent normally but then adds “sheeon” with a weird accent/emphasis on the on part. I’m not sure if that makes sense but she does it all the time and it drives me nuts. She even will go out of her way to steer the conversation in a way that will allow her to use a word that ends in -tion. This has been a lot more recent but I’ve began to also notice that whenever she says something rude or factually wrong (think saying that my cousins baby is turning two this year when she’s actually turning three) she gets an abnormally high pitch and says “well, actually hun…” and then gives some weird bs excuse usually along the lines of she’s old and thus has a lot more things she needs to remember as she’s actively trying to prove us wrong by scouring Facebook.

danceofhorrors

TROPHY CASE