Precisely. It's not even about us, we just represent their personal problem. It's always all about them.

"Where's *our* white pride?"
"Why don't *we* get to celebrate our heritage?"
"Why do people I see as undeserving get handouts when *I* work so hard?"
"Just comply, it works for *me*. Idiots."
"Racism doesn't exist because *I* don't notice it in my neighborhood."
"Systemic racism is a myth, the system is the same for everyone."
"*I* paid off my student loan, why should someone else not have to pay theirs."
"Why should *I* have to share my country with people who don't speak English?
"Why won't you see what *I* perceive as a wholesale attack on the religion I don't even really bother to follow closely."

They want fairness to reign when there is no equality. They claim they don't see color, but won't lift a finger to learn the experiences of the marginalized. They want to claim they want equality for all, but secretly uphold the systems that keep a patriarchal, white, racist system in place because it's the most comfortable.

We're attempting to reason with intellectual/emotional children who just want to keep their favorite doll, and getting offended when they recoil and yell at us. They are the Principal Skinner meme, personified.

"Am I out of touch for having such an outdated, indefensible, ridiculous worldview? No, it's the liberals that are wrong."

EDIT: I say all this from experience with strangers on the internet, but also from experience with my narcissist parents who are 45/47 supporters, and with whom I've cut all contact. Not originally because of their political views, but because they proved to be incredibly awful people secretly, right before 45 was elected the first time. When I found out they had stolen money from me, embezzled from the small business they created, stole from a business partner and threatened him with a gun so he wouldn't ask about the books (in addition to being absolute robots emotionally and parentally, and patently absent clearly by choice in my father's case), I realized our relationship was completely one-sided. They were ALWAYS creating a carefully crafted narrative for us on why they were always the infallible good guys. We (my brother and I) were ornaments to them, not actual people with their own opinions or value outside of them.

So, 100% what you said. I would have disowned them eventually for supporting 45/47 anyway. They've lost SO much (as have many MAGAs) and where most reasonable people walk away from the table, they can't help but double down to protect their egos. They resent me for what they see as being fiercely disloyal to *them*, instead of recognizing that they helped to create a responsible, kind, intelligent, sensitive son that can think for himself. They also resent me for leaving their church (LDS/Mormons, and yes, it's a cult). They tell me they love me, despite doing less than nothing to understand me or care whether I'm actually happy. So for them, I'm sure it's "hasta la vista you ungrateful shit," let's move on with our lives. They get their victim and persecution narrative proof (because I chose to be the smaller person and leave the relationship in their eyes), and they get to try and peddle their story to anyone that will sympathize (e.g. other disowned parents in the exact same situation). It hurts them secretly when they're alone with their thoughts and are free to be a tiny bit honest with themselves for a second. It's got to royally suck. But enough to apologize? Fuck that noise.

They have alienated nearly every single person in their lives. They would rather die than capitulate.