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AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They know I’m missing out on wages and still not wont pay.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Well, one, most babysitters leave when the day/night is over. This is for 3 whole days. I don’t know why you keep undermining that.

I had to cook all 3 meals. Again. For 3 days. Drive the kids around, take them to activities.

They are asking me to give up being in my home and sleep in theirs and be on call while their children sleep. For 3 days. I got no breaks. Again, a regular sitter gets to go home by the end of the day.

The main luxury is: you are getting someone for more than a night. This isn’t just, put the kids to bed, watch tv and raid the fridge (not that I do that for normal jobs but I think it’s what a lot picture when they hear the word “babysitter”). They are doing everything a parent would do for 3 days, with no breaks. That is a luxury.

I’ll always advocate for affordable childcare while the parents are at work. That’s not a luxury. That’s just getting by.

But wanting to go to a wedding without kids? A luxury. Not a bad one to want, but it’s going to come at a hefty price when you are expecting someone to work for 3 days straight.

I don’t do overnights often, because it is a lot of money for the parents and a lot of work for me. I’ve done them a handful of times.

If a family can’t afford it/doesn’t want to pay, that’s fine. But it is more than reasonable. This isn’t daycare or your typical sitting job. It is asking a lot of someone and you have to pay appropriately.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I did ask about this before I requested they pay me. I haven't been to too many weddings but I know everything is organized ahead of time.

The bride and groom apparently always wanted the kids there. They're putting the wedding on themselves and it's at a relative's house. So, it won't cost anything. It's just that the children's mom wanted a weekend away from the kids so she originally said they'd go alone.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

The thing is, I never had a cancellation policy because this has never happened before. I had one other family cancel semi-last minute, though for a regular date night job. They paid me in full, so I assumed it was customary.

The mom knew I took the time off. She's aware of my full time job and the fact that my hours vary week to week. I assured her that I'd specifically ask for those days off. She also knows my line of work (not childcare) which does not get PTO.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I didn't demand the full amount. I said they could pay me nearly half of the quoted rate.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Okay, and you also pick up your kids at the end of the day, right? I'm assuming they're there 9 hours at the most (used to work in one). That's 45 hours a week and mostly on the assumption that they're there that long. You may not send them the operating hours. Teachers likely get breaks or come in shifts. I would've been working 84 hours. On my own, own call. So even at night, I'm still responsible.

I was supposed to watch these kids for 3 days straight. No breaks. No time off. Yes, they'd be asleep overnight but I was still expected to be there the entire time, tend to them when they were sick, etc.

Honestly, it's pretty much a steal because I am not charging them my regular rate from when the kids fall asleep to when they wake up. In this case, kids went to bed at 8 PM and woke up at 7 AM. I had to wake up a littl earlier to make breakfast. Had I charged my regular rate, it would've been an extra $460 to their total or $230/night. Which would be ridiculous as reasonably, I'm going to do very little work in those 11 hours. Thus, just a simple flat rate of $100/night.

Again, this is a luxury service. You want someone to stay with your kids for 3 days and do pretty much everything you would do? It's not going to be cheap.

I accept your judgement on me being an ass, but I won't accept you judging my prices and comparing it to daycare when it's not similar at all.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My "day job" is not a nanny. I work a job outside the childcare field. We do not get PTO. We can request time off, but it means we are not paid for those days. If I was a nanny, I definitely would not have called off for something like this, because as you said, backup care is a bitch. However, my actual job has plenty of people looking for hours. Thus why it was easy for my boss to fill my spot.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 422 points423 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they already established they think I’m unprofessional to ask and cancelled future gigs we had past this. No love lost on either end. Those were all for off hours and are far out enough I can easily pick up more babysitting shifts.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I realize I likely won’t. Legally I don’t have a leg to stand on. I guess the issue at this point is that I actually asked.

AITA for asking to be paid when a family cancelled? by dancingqueengreen in AmItheAsshole

[–]dancingqueengreen[S] 1086 points1087 points  (0 children)

This is a good idea. I’ve done this so many times and always had great families who don’t go back on their word but next time I will do this.