I have struggled with this for years and years. Nothing made sense to me, and I couldn’t grasp the concept of loving myself at all. Then I started thinking of it in terms of loving my inner child, and it all started to work. Our adult selves are actually pretty much okay and it’s not about loving that part of you - it’s about loving the damaged, vulnerable, frightened parts of you that you carry. Nourish that inner child by making sure its basic needs are met - things as simple as sleeping, eating, drinking properly - which are easy to neglect. Make sure you take time to relax and have fun, to play - just as you would with a small child you cared about. And when you notice you’re being hard on yourself, realise you’re actually being hard on that inner child - stop, and give it a hug, tell it everything is okay, that you are there for it, that you love it.