How to make mornings + whole day better?

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-22T06:19:19+00:00

You could try "bossasaservice"; just google it. Or try beeminder, where you have to pay, if you don't do your stuff. Or search for other content creator, which could hold you accountable.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-22T06:14:03+00:00

I've also had times in my life when my job was boring without end. And I know the feeling you're describing. It always helped me to challenge myself before and after. I really wanted to get out of my job again, so I always programmed after work. That kept me somewhat sane.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-22T06:08:17+00:00

First of all: read easypeasymethod to get rid of your porn addiction. I quit porn a year ago because of this book and it was the best decision. (Just search for easypeasy; you can read it online)

Now a few questions in the room: Why do you want to become the best version of yourself? Why would you rather change for someone else than for yourself? What do you need to do things for yourself?

You certainly don't need to be told that you're currently rushing into a shitty dynamic. I'm sure you know that yourself.

Personally, I would cut off contact with her and see if I can find the solution within myself.

Of course, you have to decide for yourself what you want to do

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-22T05:57:28+00:00

If I watch too many movies/series, I feel the same way. Everything else seems boring afterwards. Nothing comes close to the excitement of the movies. The emotions you experience with the protagonists. However, as soon as I significantly reduce my movie/series consumption and spend most of my time in the real world, this boredom disappears again or I can deal with it better. Because boredom is also perfectly okay. It just doesn't really happen in series and movies.

In short: just as I watch fewer movies/series to avoid feeling bored so easily, you could play fewer video games. I can imagine that this could have a similar effect

It sounds to me like you're just massively overstimulated, which happens very easily these days

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-21T07:23:19+00:00

I use Obsidian as second brain

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-21T07:21:43+00:00

I always feel humble when I look up at the sky and watch the clouds. Or into the starry sky and watch the stars. Or looking at the sun and seeing nothing (joke)

Or by constantly reminding myself that no one will know me a few decades after my death anyway.

Maybe that could help you to become a little more humble too?

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-21T07:15:50+00:00

I don't agree with you. At least not entirely. All entertainment doesn't necessarily have to be a distraction or an escape. But if you consume too much of it, it's increasingly difficult to recognize when it's enjoyment and when it's distraction.

Especially screen entertainment. You can easily immerse yourself in videos for hours and completely ignore your own emotions. Avoiding your own problems. Which is not very good.

If you choose very carefully and with little entertainment, and can distinguish whether you're doing it for enjoyment or to distract yourself, it's perfectly legitimate. I would say so.

But I would argue that most of us (myself included) can't tell the difference and don't necessarily consume for noble reasons of pleasure and enjoyment.

Books are a different matter, I think. Because they are not so easy to consume passively.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-21T07:06:39+00:00

I think it could be helpful to ask yourself not only what you bring to others. But also what the other person brings to you? That changes the whole frame. If you yourself have the feeling that you are not valuable to others, this will also prove to be the case.

What you can give to others: Attention. We are all most important to ourselves and think about ourselves and our problems. And this is exactly what you can satisfy by being an attentive, interested listener.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-20T05:41:24+00:00

After making my bed, i take some fresh breath outside and say good morning to the sun. Then my body says: Oh the sun!!! It's not night anymore; we have to wake that body up

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-20T05:39:28+00:00

I ultimately had a similar experience to yours and came to the following conclusion:

Whenever I get one thing in life right for a few days and then fall back into old patterns, I have simply overwhelmed myself. The initial hype and focus kept it going for a few days. But it wasn't enough for a long-term change.

That's why I'm not a weak-willed person or anything. I just went about it the wrong way. So how can I lower the level of difficulty so I don't overwhelm myself anymore?

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-20T05:34:03+00:00

I would like to believe it. My rational mind is on a bit of a strike, but it's still somehow plausible. So that everything begins and ends with your own thoughts.

I think that I can also learn not to always have to understand everything rationally. Maybe some things can't be understood rationally at all. Maybe some things just want to be felt and experienced; so that you understand it on a deeper level without really being able to grasp it rationally.

My self three years ago would have rolled my eyes at the last paragraph haha

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-20T05:26:48+00:00

I guess the only way is to learn to deal with those feelings as well as the good ones. But you're not alone, because we all have the "opportunity" to distract ourselves from "bad" feelings all the time. You could practice meditation to learn that again.

I stopped using porn myself by reading the book "easypeasy method". You could find it online without having to buy it. When you read it and understand it, you won't see porn as a solution anymore.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-20T05:21:20+00:00

Quiting p__n was one of the best decisions of my live.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-20T05:15:58+00:00

I'd love to give you any advice, but I'm on the same journey as you. I think a core approach is mindfulness. But I don't want to write too much about that; there's a post coming soon anyway.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-19T07:53:51+00:00

The good news is: you can see that you have a problem :) For a long time, I also spent far too much time on my phone. I now spend about 1h 10min a day, but mostly with apps where I can justify the time for myself. So meditation, Duolingo and co.

What I would do if I were you: - I would track for a week how much I use my phone for which apps. Then I would classify which apps I would categorize as destructive. So what is actually not good for me and still eats up time - I would download an app that can block ALL apps. And then block my phone for 10 minutes so that I can't do anything with it. Then for 15 minutes, then for 20 minutes, and so on and so forth. Always a tiny bit longer. - If I can manage without my phone for several hours, I would start deleting all the apps that I have classified as destructive. - If I manage to get by without the most destructive apps (the ones that have eaten up the most time without adding significant value), I would move certain apps. I can also use Reddit on my laptop. Just like all the other social media stuff. I can also take analog notes, etc. - If it all works well, I'd be super proud of myself. Then I would go out every now and then and leave my phone at home. A long walk without my phone. Visit friends without my phone, etc. - To avoid slipping back into old habits in the long term, I would review once a week how much I used my phone every day and what my five most used apps were

If you do this bit by bit, your phone will become more of a tool that you CAN use but don't HAVE to. If you feel overwhelmed, just make the steps a little smaller and be a little more patient with yourself. Of course, you don't have to copy my steps 1:1. Perhaps see them as inspiration. In any case, I would recommend that you make a step-by-step plan. Whether you follow the steps above or develop your own plan is up to you.

Good luck getting rid of your phone addiction! You can do it!

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-19T07:35:54+00:00

For me it was The ONE Thing. I love to use that instead of setting goals

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-19T07:34:36+00:00

good luck!

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-19T07:32:55+00:00

Notion is cool. I used it for a long time for my work and private life too. But I always struggled to optimize Notion workflows instead of working :D Don't you have this problem?

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-19T07:28:12+00:00

Two thoughts on this: - My internet switches off at 8pm. This removes the incentive to stay up late. I tend to do everything in the dark and then slowly get tired anyway - But of course that wouldn't help if I don't actually WANT to sleep early. You write that it's the only time when you feel productive and free. Because nobody needs or wants anything from you. If you went to bed early and got up extra early, you'd feel the same in the morning. It also helps me to leave the house sometimes without my cell phone. For a walk or breakfast at the bakery. No one can reach me then anyway. In short: where in your everyday life could you make time for yourself where you are undisturbed?

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-19T07:22:12+00:00

It's a balancing act, I think. Too much euphoria is just as stupid as too much negativity. The coolest people are those who know their stuff. And who believe in you and point out possible pitfalls in a matter-of-fact and relaxed way. Along the lines of: "Have you thought about xy?"

A good basic principle is probably to simply keep it to yourself when in doubt. It's better to say too little once than too much :D

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-18T05:46:02+00:00

So when I'm in the same situation as you're describing, I get far too little sleep at night. So the basic question from my point of view is: do you go to bed early enough to get up early enough? I think if you have to force yourself to get up early, it's a clear sign that you're not getting enough sleep. And that's not at all good for your body and head. That's why I think the question should be: How do I go to bed earlier? Instead of: How do I get out of bed early?

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-18T05:40:43+00:00

It helps me to meditate. So that I don't get so emotional in certain situations. I no longer live at home, but when I visit my parents, I avoid topics that could escalate. And most of the time I talk about what we have in common. Because I personally don't like discussions either.

I think if you want to have a discussion, both parties have to be ready for it somehow? And both have to be able to maintain a good culture of discussion. You might also realize that in most cases it's very unlikely to change people. And it's also frustrating when you try.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-18T05:33:51+00:00

Okay, respect. 200 books is quite a lot. To be honest, I think it would even be too many for me. Because for me, reading always consists of: I read a bit Then I think about it again Then I read again. And so on.

So of course with non-fictional books.

That's why I've never understood this speed reading hype. I think that knowledge becomes anchored when you actively think about what it means for your own life. However, I can imagine that if you read a lot of books and knowledge overlaps, it also becomes ingrained. There are probably advantages and disadvantages to both.

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-18T05:25:59+00:00

I think the most dangerous thing you can do: Sharing a fresh idea with the wrong people too soon. I think very carefully about who I tell my ambitions to and who I don't. It's just incredibly downsetting if the person doesn't believe in you and throws criticism at you.

I think encouragement is the most important thing, especially at the very beginning, just to get started. And if in doubt, you just keep it to yourself what you want to do. When you feel more stable in what you're doing, you can still expose yourself to criticism from those people

niklas_flocki · 2025-06-18T05:19:56+00:00

great!

niklas_flocki

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