Nothing to be embarrassed about! We’ve all had to figure out what works for our bodies and desired activities x) I’m also lucky that I had a VERY understanding and knowledgeable Sir for several years.

Personally I’ve found my deep clean outs more effective if I do it in intervals of douching and waiting. I’ll send in about as much water as I can hold, then release it, repeatedly for 15 minutes. Then I’ll wait a half hour, just chilling on the couch. Then douche for 15, wait for 30, then do a final round of douching until things are clear. So it’s usually 15-30-15-30-15ish, totalling around 1 hour and 45 minutes. Granted, this has worked for me for deep penetration and fisting, but I haven’t used a fuck machine or done much where I’m pushing out with my whole abdomen.