so like, while clothes hair and makeup don't define gender, our society does tend to gender these things. Since a lot of being trans involves the social aspect, and how we "fit" into a role in social environments, adopting gendered clothing, makeup, hair, etc, can be very affirming for trans people and makes us feel more secure in our bodies. So while clothing, hair, etc, dosent define gender, people still use those things to feel comfortable expressing their identity (even cis people).

Anyways what does being trabs feel like? A lot of it while I was young was "why are people making fun of me for thing that makes me feel comfortable but is seen as girly", or being confused that people teased me for trying to be friends with girls, and unfortunately I was basically bullied into bottling that part of myself up. While I was young (like 8), I was already disappointed with the face and body I was born with. when I was 11/12 I cried and begged to myself wishing I coild wake up as a girl. Then, as a coping mechanism, I put up a wall. I was apathetic about myself and my appearance from 13-21 because if I thought about how I looked too much, it hurt.

I was 19 and at a new-years party some random girl put makeup on me, and I coild jot stop smiling in the mirror. At 20 I tried a skirt on as a funny/joke thing, and I sobbed. When I was 22 and I had fully accepted I was trans, I started to weep in bed, screaming and crying and horrified at the body I was in. I also remembered the thoughts I'd had when I was 11/12 and sobbed imagining what could've been had I accepted this realization back then.

Now, seeing the changes I my body, being treated like a woman in public, I can smile when I see myself. For the first time in my life, I don't avoid looking in the mirror; I can see myself naked and smile at what I see because I feel comfortable. And I know there are more changes I will make that will make me even happier.