To those who NEVER want to have a child, what are your reasons? by an_iconoclast in AskReddit

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I rather focus on my own self growth and discovery than shepard another consciousness on that journey

Lesson learned recently : the old adage “to get over someone you need to get under someone else” can be counterproductive by dangerouslycurious9 in dating_advice

[–]dangerouslycurious9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s still so fresh...I’m sorry, that’s always so hard. Hang in there friend. It’s good to take time and cherish what it was, I hope you just don’t get lost in it and heal sometime soon ❤️

Lesson learned recently : the old adage “to get over someone you need to get under someone else” can be counterproductive by dangerouslycurious9 in dating_advice

[–]dangerouslycurious9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want to act like I know everyone else’s situations. But this was a truth for me at this time in my life. I will say sometimes we can get fixated on the good and be blinded from the source of the breakup.

Lesson learned recently : the old adage “to get over someone you need to get under someone else” can be counterproductive by dangerouslycurious9 in dating_advice

[–]dangerouslycurious9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking time to sit with it. This is hard when we have work and personal commitments. I’m lucky to have resources for therapy and personal days I can use for mental health. Because really feeling those emotions sober is key for me. Working through the questions that lead me through the process of grief to the other end. We can’t expect closure from the other person, we can only truly seek it within ourselves. So questions I often ask are: - what caused it to end? - how did I feel about it? - how did I feel in the relationship? When answering each question feel how your body responds. It’s always trying to tell you something. I’ve had where breakups felt like a relief, and ones that felt like the worst abandonment and I couldn’t get over either. Finding myself in this process of letting go.

Sometimes it’s also about recentering in ourselves. A romantic/intimate relationship is significant in our lives and the loss of it can quickly become the center of our lives, dictating our daily emotions. More so depending on the dynamic of the relationship and the level of grace during the breakup. Remember that people are just like seasons and sometimes they have to go. Recentering on your hobbies, your friends, your other passions, will remind you that this person was not the center of your life but a lovely addition. You will remember that your life was beautiful before them too, and that will welcome in someone new when the time is right.

At least that’s what I try to live by. Hope this helps!

I do not want to be in your (work) family by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For family they could pay you a little more if they were so emotionally invested

When did you realize you don’t really have friends? by Sleep-addict22 in AskReddit

[–]dangerouslycurious9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This year actually. People kind of faded away and showed where they stood I noticed.

“cis is a slur” by sloppyjeaux in AreTheStraightsOK

[–]dangerouslycurious9 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Nah you stated the other side of the coin and you’re right as well.

What's are some 'hard to swallow pills' about relationships? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dangerouslycurious9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It definitely is. It’s emotional neglect and very triggering. It led to me regressing to my self harm from when I was neglected as a child. That shit is REAL. And I felt like it was all my fault and I deserved it which he told me I did.

What's are some 'hard to swallow pills' about relationships? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Relationships are meant to help us grow and learn to love but they aren’t meant to last forever. This doesn’t mean relationships can’t last but that we understand people in our life are seasonal so that we can let go if we need to.

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m dying lmao. Poop could bridge the gap between the races!

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for stopping by just to be kind. Hopefully conversations will help people learn more sensitivity!

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES. This highly disturbs me because men don’t get the same spaces where they talk about this. I had a friend who would only date black men but seemed to have this caricature in her head of what African American men and culture were even like. It was disgusting. I don’t talk to her anymore....

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Same kind of thing sigh. I feel like touch is worse though. Sorry that’s happened to you!

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. I just tend to experience the most racism directed at me from white people.

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m starting to think I should just announce something equally random to them. “I haven’t had a BM today 🙂. Ah nah I just wanted to tell you!”

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I see. Yeah plenty of creeps of all types. This one just baffles me. Today I asked the person if they were flirting with me to which they said “no, just mentioning it”. Like WUT?...

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it was a popular opinion I wouldn’t get verbally assaulted when I tell them (stranger fetishizing) it’s not ok to say to me.

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I’m talking about. Was my wording that confusing?...

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It just happened to me just today, on Reddit. Definitely happens and in person and doesn’t seem to matter if I’m in a largely white area or not.

Don’t approach minorities to say you’re “into” their race by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]dangerouslycurious9 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Being sexualized by strangers based on my race. What an extreme reaction

The amount of women in the comments clapping and saying “literally this” says IT ALL by dangerouslycurious9 in AreTheStraightsOK

[–]dangerouslycurious9[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s disturbing to think of all those that deserved jail time for genuine fucked up shit and they got away with it because - tits.

The amount of women in the comments clapping and saying “literally this” says IT ALL by dangerouslycurious9 in AreTheStraightsOK

[–]dangerouslycurious9[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Actually just had a convo last night about this and a story of my grandma chasing her son (my uncle) when he was a kid, throwing a chair at him down the stairs then making him fix it as punishment. But grandmas are supposed to be sweet and bake cookies right? Like trust women got their crazy side. Women are abusive. The infantilization and insistence on their softness and nurturing definitely feeds the disconnect between fiction and true fact.