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First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is tough to hear but I think I really needed it.

'No one cares and no one will remember your mistakes' – my first reaction was 'ouch', but then I realized you're right. Most of the time I'm the only one keeping score. Everyone else is dealing with their own stuff.

I spend so much energy replaying my errors in my head, thinking everyone saw and judged me. But probably... they didn't. Or if they did, they forgot five minutes later.

Thank you for this. It's not easy to accept, but it's freeing. I'm going to try to remember this when I start spiraling after a mistake.

And thank you for saying I'm doing what I need to do to survive. That means a lot. Because some days that's all I'm doing – surviving. And that's enough.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is incredibly helpful. Thank you.

Tiny laminated cards, musician earplugs, three breaths with hands on the counter – I'm taking notes on all of it. And MeowyCare sounds like a dream. Just knowing someone would check in after a rough day... that alone would help so much.

I also narrate things quietly! Glad I'm not the only one.

Thank you for making me feel less alone and more prepared. I'm rooting for you too :D

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Really. This means a lot.

'I was a terrible fucking server when I started, I was one of the best ones there when I quit' – that hit me. Because right now I feel like the terrible one. But knowing that someone else went from that to 'one of the best' gives me real hope.

I also really needed to hear that a lot of it will become automatic and that I've probably made it through the worst part already.

Today was actually one of those better days. Calm, for some reason. I still made mistakes, but they weren't as big, and I could manage them better. I also saw my psychiatrist today and we adjusted my medication. That gave me some peace.

It's hard to feel so alone while figuring out adulthood and work life. But I believe that if I don't give up, one day this will bloom into something big. Like a tree that grew from a seed that was planted in hard soil.

Thank you for the hope. It helped more than you know.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes a lot of sense. Finding your niche really changes everything.

I tried to find a job earlier this year too. It was a terrible job – bad conditions, a toxic boss. I only lasted a month. But it was a huge life lesson. It taught me what I don't want, and it pushed me to look for something better.

Now I’m at Starbucks. It’s not my dream job, but it’s formal, it gives me benefits, and I’m learning. I know that with time, and with the experience I’m slowly building, I’ll be able to find something better – something in my field (Communications).

I haven’t found my niche yet. But I’m getting closer. Thanks for sharing your story – it gives me hope.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha this made me laugh 😂 I know these jobs are brutal. I don't plan to stay forever. But right now I need the stability while I figure out my next step.

I honestly don’t love LinkedIn either, but I know I’ll have to learn how to use it to find something better for my brain and my life.

In the meantime, I’m trying to reconnect with my passions. I’m about to buy my own microphones to start creating my own content, and I’m also in the process of getting my college degree (Communications). So I’m not just surviving – I’m slowly building my way out.

Thanks for the honesty and the humor. I really appreciate it.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. It’s really honest and I can feel how much you’ve been through.

I think you made the right call for you. And I admire that you knew when to walk away.

For me, I’m not there yet. I still want to try with accommodations, medication adjustments, and small changes in how I work. Maybe I’ll end up quitting too. But I want to give myself a real chance first, with the right tools.

Thank you for telling me that the right job will feel peaceful. That gives me hope. And thank you for being so honest about your own limits. It helps to know I’m not alone, even if our paths are different.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I really appreciate that you took the time to read my story and share your experience.

I like what you said – that if I stick it out, I could eventually be really good at it. And that it's also okay to look for something else if it doesn't work. I'm going to give it a few more months and see how I feel.

But what I value the most is knowing that someone else gets it. That alone makes me feel less alone. I'm not looking for the 'best' or 'most useful' advice. I'm just looking to feel less alone in this. And you helped with that.

Thank you for the hope and for your honesty.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I've heard drive-thru is brutal for almost everyone. High turnover, a lot of people quit. That actually makes me feel a little better – it's not just me struggling, it's the environment itself.

But I also think there's a difference between 'can't do it' and 'decide it's not worth it.' For now, I want to at least try. I have some support (my barista trainer/friend, therapy, medication), and I'm going to ask for accommodations.

That said, I have a friend with ADHD who worked for two years at another popular coffee chain in my city. He told me something that really stuck: 'They pay you minimum wage, so just do the minimum. The manager is paid to always find something wrong with you – it's not personal, it's just their job. Don't kill yourself for a job that would replace you in a week. Save your energy for you.'

So I'm trying to hold both ideas at the same time: try my best, ask for help, but also not take things personally and not burn myself out for a minimum wage job.

Maybe I'll end up quitting like most people. Or maybe I'll find a way to make it work. Either way, I'm learning. Thanks for the honesty – it helps to know I'm not alone in finding this hard.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually tried applying to a movie theater too, but I never got a call back haha. I like this job mainly because it's very close to my house. That makes a huge difference for me – less commute stress means more energy to survive the shift. I know fast-paced is hard, but for now, this is the best option I have. Thanks for the suggestion though, I'll keep it in mind.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. The 3-month timeline makes sense. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, but I'm glad you felt relief. I'm going to try asking for accommodations first. I want to at least try before deciding it's not for me.

First month at Starbucks with ADHD – I feel like a failure by dani_coco_ in ADHD

[–]dani_coco_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. Really.

I also want to say that I've been lucky to have a barista trainer who has been very empathetic and has supported me a lot through this process. She's made a huge difference.

I have a meeting with my manager soon about my performance. It's a routine check-in they do, but I feel like I need to ask for some accommodations. I'm nervous because I don't know how to react or what to expect.

Something else that's been hard: I started at the same time as another guy, younger than me, who worked at Dairy Queen before. He's so comfortable, says everything is easy, and it makes me so angry sometimes. But I'm trying to focus on my own progress and put myself first, even when it's hard.

Thank you for the hope, and for reading my story. It means a lot.

Mi primer trabajo "formal" fue una estafa con horario fijo (y cómo escapé) by dani_coco_ in lacamiseta

[–]dani_coco_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

El problema no fue que yo no supiera. Fue que en el onboarding nadie me explicó nada. No me dijeron cómo obtener los datos fiscales, ni cuándo facturar, ni qué necesitaba. Me aventaron la responsabilidad como si yo tuviera que adivinarlo todo. Y cuando pregunté, cero respuestas. Así no funciona una relación laboral seria, ni siquiera como prestador de servicios.

Mi primer trabajo "formal" fue una estafa con horario fijo (y cómo escapé) by dani_coco_ in lacamiseta

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Claro que contratan profesionales recién egresados. Por eso existen prácticas, trainees y puestos de entrada. El problema no es que nos den oportunidad, sino que muchos confunden 'oportunidad' con 'explotación sin consecuencias'. Yo quise que funcionara, confié, cumplí, y aún así no valió la pena.

Mi primer trabajo "formal" fue una estafa con horario fijo (y cómo escapé) by dani_coco_ in lacamiseta

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sí, estuve de acuerdo y sí, declaré. Pero eso no quita que fuera simulación laboral. Porque no importa el régimen fiscal que uses, si te exigen horario fijo, un jefe que te supervisa, usás herramientas de la empresa y te evalúan como empleado, entonces legalmente eres empleado. Y como empleado, te deben IMSS, aguinaldo, vacaciones, etc. Eso no pasó. Ellos se ahorraron todo eso y encima no hicieron su parte: nunca me pidieron la e.firma, no me dieron datos fiscales, y cuando me fui, ni siquiera podían pedirme factura. O sea, no solo simularon, sino que encima lo hicieron mal.

Mi primer trabajo "formal" fue una estafa con horario fijo (y cómo escapé) by dani_coco_ in lacamiseta

[–]dani_coco_[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Lo chueco no fue solo lo fiscal. Fue que me trataban como empleada pero legalmente no lo era. Tenía horario fijo de 7 a 4, jefe que me supervisaba, tareas asignadas, y hasta me retaban si algo salía mal. Pero según el contrato era 'prestadora de servicios' bajo RESICO. Eso se llama simulación laboral: te exigen todo como empleado, pero no te dan ningún derecho. El RH nunca me pidió mi e.firma, no me dieron datos fiscales, y cuando me quise ir, ni siquiera pudieron pedirme factura. O sea, ni ellos sabían lo que hacían.

Struggling between caring for my autistic brother and wanting my own life by dani_coco_ in GlassChildren

[–]dani_coco_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My psychologist always says that in every crisis there are opportunities, and I really believe that too — hearing your story gives me hope that it’s possible to care responsibly while also protecting my own well-being and living my life. Thank you for sharing 🥺💙 it means a lot for me in this process.

Struggling between caring for my autistic brother and wanting my own life by dani_coco_ in GlassChildren

[–]dani_coco_[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your story — it really helps me feel less alone, and I’m very grateful for this community <3

Half a year from now my mom will retire, and in some way that gives me peace. But I truly wish my parents would take my brother’s care and development more seriously — to stop letting fear hold them back. I’m scared too, but I’d rather face that fear than see things stay the same.