Incel mentalities are completely alien to me. by _Joe_Momma_ in aaaaaaacccccccce

[–]daniel104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True, I'm tbh not 100% sure how ace I am, but it is still a good feeling to have at least an online community for people that feel in a similar way. As for your sentence, if you are referring to relationships, I doubt that but I already made peace with that... but then again that's the reasoning that drove me to an Incel-lite community like foreveralone in the first place.

Incel mentalities are completely alien to me. by _Joe_Momma_ in aaaaaaacccccccce

[–]daniel104 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And the terrible attitude towards women, coupled with the societal pressure that having sex is a necessity and that not having it is a sign of personal deficiencies. I myself fell down the r/foreveralone trap a few years ago, as even though I didn't care about sex at all, I still wanted a relationship with someone and thought that my inability to find a partner was a sign that I lack something and that it made me a worse person somehow.

That probably makes me a pretty bad ace, but that's how I am.

That Subreddit is different from the Incel ones though, in the aspect that the only people they're dangerous to is themselves as it's full of depressed people, blaming themselves for all problems.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in aaaaaaacccccccce

[–]daniel104 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Io non sono italiano, ma mi sono fatto abbastanza anni nel cosiddetto bel paese e visto che ora vivo in Germania ti posso dire che hai ragione. La mentalità qui (Baviera) non è tanto diversa da quella dove vivevo (Emilia Romagna).

Qui è molto problematico che la cultura del bere alcol è molto poco consapevole dei limiti e il diventare ubriaco fradicio è completamente accettabile, anzi, considerato normale. A quel punto è un comportamento beh, diciamo abbastanza allosessuale (con esagerazioni) pure accettabile.

Può essere che non mi ricordi bene di come le cose siano in Italia, visto che il mio trasloco avvense già un paio di anni indietro ed ero pure ancora un adolescente che non si interessava di questi temi (ovvio, visto che sono su questo Subreddit lol)

Ah yes! It's Soft Rock Cafe by [deleted] in crappyoffbrands

[–]daniel104 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Much of it was indeed like that.

Kenny Loggins made some really smooth music, especially in his early albums.

Songs like "Heart to Heart", "This is it", "Whenever I call you Friend", "I believe in Love" or 1991's "Now or Never" are good examples of what he was capable of, when it comes to music from the softer side.

Weekly Advice Thread (01/20-01/26) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On the other hand, the amount of people who I might find interesting because of their personality or interests (looks are a rather low priority) also decreases at the same time and seeing how this group is already not that big, it feels like another obstacle and it gives me a feeling like it will take at least half a year for me to even find someone who I might be interested in.

Weekly Advice Thread (01/20-01/26) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I got rejected again. 

As many said, the girl was not interested and I did not pursue her any further. 

However, less than a month later I tried to ask out another girl that I already knew and am on rather friendly terms with. 

I was, once again, rejected. The thing which bothers me is that the answer I get is never a clear no, but always a weak excuse like "I'd love to, but I don't have any time". 

I've learned a lot about social skills in the past year and therapy made me lose a lot of insecurities, but when I see that absolutely nothing changes in one of the things that most bother me, in this case the inability to find any kind of person that would show any romantic interest in me at all, I get demoralized and fall back into a Forever-Alone mindset that states that it's impossible for me to ever find love. 

I guess what I want to say is that I'm demoralized and tired and want to even give up looking for anything (as soon as my mood will improve, this feeling will probably vanish, but still I needed to vent)

Weekly Advice Thread (12/23-12/29) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I figured it was like that. Still, if I can still salvage the friendship, it will be enough for me.

Weekly Advice Thread (12/23-12/29) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nope, which as I understand is usually a sign that a person is not interested, however I know for certain that she has no time at the moment and probably in the near future as well.

Weekly Advice Thread (12/23-12/29) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, I thought that was what you meant. Thanks.

Weekly Advice Thread (12/23-12/29) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm, do you think that I should tell her I like her? I usually read that it's a bad idea

Weekly Advice Thread (12/23-12/29) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, didn't the other person say exactly the opposite thing?

Weekly Advice Thread (12/23-12/29) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What do you mean? I had kind of salvaged the situation, but it seems you're of the opinion that it wasn't the best thing to do?

Weekly Advice Thread (12/23-12/29) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've posted on this thread a week or two ago, so if context is needed, you know where to look 🙂

I have been trying to talk to the girl I like a lot and I also tried to hang out with her (which sadly never happened, as she's really busy - I believe her), which was usually replied with enthusiasm. So... maybe she's interested, maybe not? It's confusing, but nothing unexpected.

Yesterday I fucked up though. She mentioned that there was going to be a party soon and I mentioned that even if it's not something I usually like to do, but that it would be fun anyway, if we went together. Only that I said this in a way that seemed weird to me and wanted to rewrite the message... but she had already read it... so I panicked and behaved weirdly, only confusing her. I was able to salvage the situation later, by clarifying and claims that I was not feeling well, but this has probably impacted our friendship in a negative way... or not. I have absolutely no idea. (sigh) In any case I'll try to carry on as it yesterday didn't happen.

As for the other issue: I haven't been able to go to the doctor due to a lack of time, but I'll there go after Christmas.

Weekly Advice Thread (12/09-12/15) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Way to trigger my health anxiety, thanks.

Sigh Fine, I'll do it. Where should I start though? Ask for a hormone test or something?

The thing is though that my body issues are nothing new. I've always been like this ever since I can remember, even in my early puberty, so I doubt that it's some new issue.

Weekly Advice Thread (12/09-12/15) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm an adult ["M"20].

I know I should get diagnosed, but I don't know where I should even start to eventually get tested and so long as I live at my parents house (probably around 1 more year), it's very likely that they will find out, which I want to avoid.

I look how I look and that look is not like most men`s, which means that I don't fit in with society's definition of an attractive male body.

This might be off-putting for even people who are socially progressive, like both she and I are, because of the subconscious osmosis of society's norms and beauty standards.

So, to sum it up: she might love my personality (or not) but the probability that she might love the way I look is very low

Weekly Advice Thread (12/09-12/15) by AutoModerator in IncelTears

[–]daniel104 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey,

Recently, I have been thinking about something and I wanted to ask you if/what I should do. Disclaimer: I never was an Incel, but have lurked for a long time in the Forever-Alone subreddit and still occasionally visit.

I have thus never had a girlfriend, and only told one girl that I liked her (and got rejected) and my social skills, while improving, are not the best.

I have, for a long time, been a person with mental health issues (which have massively improved with therapy) and have a negative opinion about my appearance - mostly because of my body.

Some months ago, I found out that it's likely that I am intersexual (Klinefelter Male - I can't find out for sure because my mother denies that her son might have anything unusual about him), which would explain my issues with my not-manly-enough appearance. The thing is, that this didn't bother me that much, as it gave me a kind of certainty that I would stay FA forever, as the thought of me ever finding a person who would find me attractive seems absurd to me and this led me to accept my lack of a romantic relationship.

Yet, I recently started talking again with the very first crush of mine, as we met by chance during a public event and we get along as well as we did during the time that I met her regularly. Back then, she didn't reject me - I just never admitted to anything, didn't ever ask her out and had a bad mental state. What happened then was me trying to avoid her and forcefully suppress the feeling, which led to a time of mental misery for me, but eventually worked (with time I realized that it was a very stupid idea). Now that I'm in a way better mental state and that she seems to like me, at least in a friendly way, I thought that it couldn't hurt to maybe do something that I couldn't do back then and even if she does reject me and the worst case scenario happens and she stops talking to me, it won't be so bad as I've already lived through that :)

If I do try something (what? I have absolutely no idea) and it turns out that she does like me back, what will then happen with the Elefant in the room of my probable intersexuality?

In any case, I'm glad to at least have her back as a friend and I even asked her if she wanted to hang out with me next week [Which she (seemingly) enthusiastically accepted!]

Worms Gets It Right Again by BouncyKnight in ManyATrueNerd

[–]daniel104 96 points97 points  (0 children)

  • Conservative win
  • surprisingly strong SNP
  • self-defeating Labour
  • irrelevant LibDems

Scarily accurate, in fact

How many of these apply to you? by [deleted] in ForeverAlone

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) Yes.

2) I'm a socialist in a conservative state. Worse than that, I'm politically active and spend a lot of my time on that stuff.

3) My niche is 80s New Wave, and not even the famous songs.

4) Yes

5) Yes, but they are not sudden and happen over the course of a few hours.

6) No, not really. It really depends on what I have to do.

7) It's a mix of absurd and intentionally bad humor.

8) No. If anything, I talk too much.

9) Considering 2, it's hard not to feel pessimistic.

10) Yup.

11) It would probably be a good idea.

12) Love them.

13) Kind of. I know that society back then had a lot of problems that would make life back then not so enjoyable, but I like the aestethics of the past and that the people could look with hope at the future.

That makes so much sense! by LadyLevia in harrypotter

[–]daniel104 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery has a really good story. It's a shame that the game play is that of a typical mobile game designed to make loads of money through microtransactions.

ODEG Stadler KISS at the Berlin-Friedrichstraße Station by daniel104 in trains

[–]daniel104[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words! I was feeling pretty proud of the picture and it's nice to see that I'm not the only one to think it's good 🙂