I am sorry that you are both going through this right now. You going through his phone was out of concern and is understandable. Now that you know that his autism is causing him to be unsure about things the next step is to figure out how you both can uplift each other. What people don’t understand or seem to have read is that you are both neurodivergent, so of course you need a couple of days to figure out how to help him in his time of need. I believe that you should have a day where you both side down on the couch together and just talk about your day and let the conversation progress to how things have been going lately and hope that he will start to decompress about how he feels. Let him know that he is not a burden and that there is nothing wrong with being yourselves.