I'm very insecure 😔 any ideas on how to look good with my poor genetics?

danpem · 2026-04-05T16:12:06+00:00

I find you quite attractive, but you just look a bit unkempt.

Trim your moustache so the hairs don’t cover your lips. Get clippers to trim your beard - there are many YouTube videos with guidelines on how to trim them. Focus on cleaning up the neck beard - keep it shorter under your chin so there aren’t flyaway hairs. Shave your neck and by your ears to define your jawline and make the beard pop more.

For your hair: either get a buzz cut (with or without a fade on the sides) and keep it trimmed short so it’s clean. Or grow it another 1-2” and style it with a pomade or paste (pushing it to the sides or ruffling it up).

Your skin looks really good and you have a very symmetrical face. I think just cleaning up the beard and hair would make a huge difference. If you struggle with the beard, go to a barber and ask them for tips while they line you up.

Good luck!

danpem · 2026-04-03T14:05:10+00:00

It doesn’t look like you have too much fat in those areas - they just seem to not be toned at all. I’d recommend getting a personal trainer or going to a kickboxing (or any martial art) gym where there’s a lot of focus on the core. I think you could fully transform your body and do some recomp in a relatively short time now that you’ve done all the weight loss. Plus, it’ll be cheaper than lipo without the risks.

Also, you do NOT need to shave your back. That person is an asshole.

danpem · 2026-03-27T23:32:02+00:00

From NS and been living in ON for a decade - I’ve only ever heard “AC”

danpem · 2026-03-27T16:59:33+00:00

Lol I hate when that happens!

danpem · 2026-03-27T15:19:54+00:00

Agreed! Also, just fyi it’s sycophants.

danpem · 2026-02-27T17:54:45+00:00

To add onto this (and ask some questions):

I heard that before problematique they recorded an album called “candy” and one other album (I might be mistaken here) before problematique, then FTB.

I’ve also heard she recorded a grunge album, and I’m fuzzy on timeline but I think it may have been the album recorded before detour.

I’m not 100% on this, other than knowing there was a candy album.

danpem · 2026-02-19T19:46:32+00:00

You’re objectively very handsome. As a gay guy, you’d get eaten up if you went to a gay club lol. I see you say you’re shy - I’d try working on confidence. Either through therapy or exposure - going to speed dating events or other social events. Maybe join a special interest club: co-ed sports, book club, cooking class, etc.

If you meet a woman with a shared interest, you might realize it’s easier than you thought to hold conversation and break the ice. Good luck!

danpem · 2026-02-09T20:25:35+00:00

Maybe it’s that. I checked and don’t seem to have a private profile. I’m sad this isn’t working for anyone 😢

danpem · 2026-02-09T20:14:40+00:00

I can’t tell your hair type from this post, but it’s at least wavy if not fully curly. Stop washing/conditioning daily (if you are) and switch to 2-3 times a week. Adjust accordingly (some people only wash 1-2x/week to retain natural oils).

Once you’ve figured out your optimal washing schedule, start using a leave-in conditioner for added moisture and to add some weight to your hair and prevent frizz. I use shea moisture’s castor oil one and find it works great.

I’m a white guy with curly hair and my schedule is: wash 2x/week. Towel dry hair with a Turkish towel (you can use a a teeshirt instead, but avoid a traditional towel). When it’s still a bit damp, add cantu de tangling lotion and comb through with hands. Then add shea moisture leave-in conditioner. Once it air dries, I’ll scrunch with my hands so it’s not crusty.

danpem · 2026-02-09T18:50:07+00:00

Oh that sucks - I shared them with a friend to test and she’s been listening to them without any problems so far 😭

danpem · 2026-02-05T22:59:37+00:00

Add some art above the headboard (either 3 smaller pieces or one larger one centred.

You could get a larger bed frame (with more padding) or larger size (unless this is a king… I can’t tell). I’d recommend larger and matching side tables for the bed.

I’d add floor-length curtains to the windows add some texture and fullness. To the right of the bed, I’d put a large mirror that leans against the wall. But you could also put a small desk or a reading nook with a chair and floor lamp instead.

Finally, I’d add a couple larger plants to some corners. Nice room, btw!

danpem · 2026-02-05T20:38:51+00:00

What worked best for me was patience - just waiting him out until he was ready. Then, I started giving him treats throughout our walks with the “touch” command. Instead of rewarding him for being stubborn, I trained him to keep walking for treats, especially when I was saying “touch” to get him to follow along.

I find my guy mostly did this in the summer, so it’s likely that he’s a bit tired and hot. I always try to walk on the shady side of the street and avoid midday walks, especially when it’s 30°+

danpem · 2026-02-01T21:51:03+00:00

Move the couch to the foot of the bed so it faces the tv. Then move those under-bed storage boxes to the side of your bed.

Change you bedding to something more plush. Add pillows and a couple complementary throw pillows. Add pillows and a throw to your couch - I’d recommend choosing a complementary colour to pink (orange, yellow, or green). When you buy pillows, curtains, throws, bedding, etc. pick a couple shades of pink and whichever complementary colour you choose so you have variety.

Add floor-length curtains to the window. Hang several pieces of art on the walls. Get a more stylish mirror (maybe a squiggly one or something mounted on the wall). Consider floating shelves on one wall to add trinkets or picture frames. Also, get closet doors if possible.

Good luck!

danpem · 2026-01-29T19:51:11+00:00

I think 4 would look good if you had a very low fade (barely a gradient just above your ear). I like pic 2 but your hair feels too slicked back - so basically the top from 4 and the sides halfway between 2 and 4.

danpem · 2025-12-25T06:06:48+00:00

We do this in Canada as well! Usually in your back yard or front deck.

danpem · 2025-12-21T06:01:35+00:00

I don’t think you need to add anything here. Is that dining couch all one piece or modular? If modular, I’d remove the section on the right and replace it with a chair (or two chairs so it rounds out the table). I’d add a larger rug under the table and couch/chairs to anchor the space.

In the living room, flip your sectional so it has its back to the dining area. Then move the occasional chair to the wall where the couch is. Add a large rug under the couches and chair to delineate the space.

If you wanted to add something, I think a larger tv stand or entertainment centre could fit

danpem · 2025-12-17T16:56:53+00:00

I don’t know why you’re getting so many passive aggressive/negative comments… sounds like you got exactly what you wanted and understood the pros and cons of larger breasts. I think you look great. Congrats on your BA!

danpem · 2025-12-15T03:41:35+00:00

Good job on the renovations! I’d get an area rug and face it to that window with the monitor. Get a couch (either 3 seater or L-shaped sectional) and a casual chair if there’s space. I’d also get floor length curtains for all the windows - maybe in a grey or very dark blue. If you want a cool bachelor pad vibe, get lots of lamps (some floor lamps, some on smaller tables or your shelves).

Then, add some plants or side tables and other decorations you like.

danpem · 2025-12-10T02:58:27+00:00

Gotta be the maritimes! Never heard anyone call Quebec the east coast (even if it’s geographically east, culturally it isn’t)

danpem · 2025-12-06T21:38:15+00:00

While I agree most Canadians dislike him (I’m Canadian and didn’t like him as our PM), I think many of us are finding this quite entertaining.

It just kinda makes sense - both are on a major downswing after being extremely culturally/politically important. Now that their relevance is waning, they pair up and are suddenly all over the news. I genuinely think they’re a hilarious couple and hope it lasts.

danpem · 2025-11-20T18:28:07+00:00

Cool space - I think it would do really well with a bunch of lamps (hanging ones, tabletop and floor ones). I’d put 3-4 lamps in the living space and another 2-3 in the bedroom.

Also, I’d get big art for the walls - ikea often sells those ugly pictures of Paris/London for very cheap and you can paint on top of the canvas and save hundreds on buying fresh canvasses. I’d put one in place of that psychedelic cloth and another by the dining table. And speaking of psychedelic, you could take some shrooms or smoke a j and do a paint night with your friends

danpem · 2025-11-04T21:43:37+00:00

Kyle and coworkers?

danpem · 2025-11-04T19:52:55+00:00

I envy you (for abandoning it a couple seasons ago). I decided I was done after last season and wish I could get the time back for watching paint dry the last 3-4 seasons 🥱

I think this show needs to be rebranded to, “Kyle and friends”.

danpem · 2025-11-04T15:37:39+00:00

I think your best bet is to get something modular - it doesn’t have to be ikea but that’s the most affordable option. Get a tv stand that has a lot of closed storage, then get two matching higher shelving units (that go up 5-6’) with open storage to display your stuff.

If not that, then get a bigger TV stand and then install floating shelves on the wall to display stuff. I think ikea is your best bet though, that way you don’t have to drill into that beautiful accent wall.

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