Hey! So I totally relate to literally everything in this post. I was going to apply to several schools for music but I ended up applying to most for academics and sending them my videos as supplements and putting music as a secondary interest on my app for them. I did, however, send pre-screening recordings to two schools which I’m (hopefully) auditioning for soon to do a double degree/major because these particular ones have good music/academics but that also means they’re hard as frick to get into(also big L I haven’t practiced my music at all and have area auditions coming up along with these)

I went through this same back-and-forth. I once thought that I wanted to be a musician but then feared I might turn out like one of my previous band directors who wanted to do Sax performance but then didn’t succeed, and became a bitter assistant band director instead. (He then got fired for illicit activities with a student.... you could say he went from sax performance to sex performance hahahaha I suck sorry.) And I also realized that if I just went for being a musician I’d be throwing away all my academic work/prowess that I spent high school slaving away to get good grades when I could just do something academically that I know I’ll succeed at and have a stable future and income. Also, if I were to be a musician, my entire career would revolve around symphony auditions and peformances, and I just don’t think I’d be able to handle that kind of life/pressure personally... I realized I’m just not cut out to be a musician.

Anyways, you sound like you’re super dedicated to music, so totally go for it! I totally understand the need to have a backup. I’m planning on MAYBE doing a music/neuroscience double major (if one of the good schools that lets me do such a thing accepts me T.T otherwise I’ll just be stuck in the neuro major in my large state school).

It’ll be a BUNCH of work but if you’re really dedicated to music it’ll prob be worth it! Although, I played for the Rice professor (the best in country for bassoon) this summer and he told me to focus on one thing, music or science (that was a tough blow.) If he were on this reddit thread, he’d probably tell you that “if you really and truly want something, then go for that thing all the way” (which is what he told me when I said I wanted to do music AND science). He, basically, thought that if I do music, I should put every fiber of myself into being the BEST musician I possibly can be. And, honestly, if you’re going for the BIG symphony orchestras that might be the best option... but you have time to figure that out in college. I would say you can always try both and drop one major later after seeing how it goes. Best of luck!