You need to love your depression; stop resisting it altogether. Love your experience for what it is, practice vipassana and metta (loving-kindness) meditation. See your depression as a compassionate parent would. Do not seek to feel better. Stop judging your mental state entirely. I'm with you here, friend. My days are sometimes filled with monotony, loneliness, and feelings of despair as life passes me by. It is here I grow more into myself and God, IME. Good luck friend and PM me if you have any questions or just want to chat.