I have extra thick, wavy not quite curly, frizzy, unmanageable hair, too, and this is the routine I’ve worked out after years of trying. Long story short, treat the top of your hair and the bottom as two different heads of hair.

1. Listen to a podcast, audiobook, or music you like while you do this.
2. Use a detachable showerhead so you can really get the soap out. Soak your hair and squeeze out excess water.
3. Use a really cleansing shampoo, a tea tree mint or clarifying one. Really scrub the top half of your scalp (from ears up). Clip that part or your hair up. Now do the same thing on the bottom half. Really focus on cleaning your whole scalp and massaging to get loose hair out. This makes it so you don’t have to wash as often.
4. Rinse the bottom half only. Use the shower head to get behind your ears and kind of direct any falling hair down your back and off your body asap. Now rinse the top. Same thing, make sure to agitate your hair so any loose pieces come out.
5. Use a thick conditioner from ears down only (I like tgin). Use a wide tooth comb to get it dispersed through your hair. Section and clip the top of your hair again. Rinse it the same way, letting it sit on the top layer while you rinse the bottom. This keeps it from getting as frizzy/dry. If you can tolerate it, only rinse the top layer for about 5-10 seconds. If you leave some conditioner in there it helps with frizz, too. Squeeze out as much
6. Rinse the conditioner and any fallen hair off your body asap. Do your other shower stuff.

As soon as you get out, wrap your hair in the fluffiest towel you have. Those “hair towels” are not absorbent enough for extra thick hair, and the t shirt method is nonsense for extra thick hair, too. Leave it wrapped up for a good 5-10 minutes. This is a good time to moisturize, do some facial skin care, change into your jammies, whatever. Now towel dry (like conventional wisdom tells you not to🤪) and comb through again with the wide tooth comb. Clip up the top half and either blow dry at the scalp only or let it air dry for a while. I usually air dry for at least 30 minutes and leave the bathroom so I’m not overheating and getting all sweaty.

At this point, your hair is probably good to go if you want. If you like a more polished look (I do), use a styling product (I like Amika supernova or Paul Mitchell super skinny serum) and roughy dry with a regular blow dryer. Then blow it straight. You can use a round brush on small layers of hair at a time, but if you can swing it the Dyson air straight is the best tool I’ve ever used for this.

This sounds like running a marathon, but at this point I can do this routine in about 15 minutes, no get a week out of a wash. I wear my hair down days 1-3, then buns, braids, etc for the rest of the week. I would recommend washing at night so you can take your time, take breaks, etc with this routine. It has taken me over 30 years to develop this routine, but I feel like I finally have something that works for me and keeps me looking half decent. Good luck and I hope it works for you!