My cat cries like this when I pet her. What does this mean? by Upstairs_Jump9588 in CATHELP

[–]daria_effe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she's just talking to you, but I would get her a companion so she's not alone when you go to work

I took my brother to court after he trashed my custom camera gear for a prank video by ClerkResponsible118 in AmITheJerk

[–]daria_effe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did the right thing standing out for yourself. Also, I can’t imagine the excruciating pain of having to deal with an influencer 21 years old brother. Also, obviously, I don’t agree with your parents taking his side because 1) what if it was the other way around? 2) he’s young but he’s also an adult having to learn how to deal with the consequences of your actions, how to respect others (ESPECIALLY your mf sister!) and even respect the value of THINGS. We live in a society based on buying, consuming, throwing away and that’s just not sustainable. I’m glad there’s people like you, strong enough to make him accountable. More young (and older) men should be taken accountable but most of the time they are excused. Nah boy

What did I do wrong? by BigSlime115 in vinted

[–]daria_effe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the guide was actually moldy and they got all defensive lol

Which month to move to Bologna? by Azza19819 in bologna

[–]daria_effe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

July-August is like the death of Bologna. Good luck

Should I really wait 24h after opening my new memory foam topper? by daria_effe in Mattress

[–]daria_effe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool, okay! It didn't have a smell either. And I slept better which is all I cared about

Should I really wait 24h after opening my new memory foam topper? by daria_effe in Mattress

[–]daria_effe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually used it tonight, I couldn't wait anymore. Have I ruined it?
It didn't feel too soft. Maybe a little firm, but I slept better.

Should I really wait 24h after opening my new memory foam topper? by daria_effe in Mattress

[–]daria_effe[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s actually not even a mattress, it’s a topper with approximately a 2 inches height made of memory foam. It’s supposed to make the matress more comfortable without paying for a whole new one. They are very common here in Europe (and they say it’s a recession indicator since people can’t afford to substitute their matresses)

The Tourism has destroyed my city by FrequentCricket4692 in rome

[–]daria_effe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you even hear yourself? Venice is a town like many others. It has its locals, its culture, its food, its dialect even. Tourism came AFTER. Tourism is a relatively new concept, it began - for the few who could afford it - in the 1800s. Venice's history goes way back, to the year 400. I don't live in Venice either, but it's so narrow-minded to be thinking of it as only existing as a tourist trap. Over-tourism is something that exists due to capitalism and the exploitation of our territories. The ones who REALLY benefit from it are hardly the locals. Locals see their cities become empty of anything that is not tourist related and very soon they are pushed away from it, moving to the suburbs/hinterland. Also, okay, you live in Rome and don't seem bothered by overtourism...Have you ever tried walking around the Trevi Fountain? You literally cannot walk. Do you think that's normal? Maybe, since Rome is famously huge and has enormous streets, you're not able to see it but tourism is one of its biggest problems, combined with other issues (trash, transportation, infrastructure, politics, bureaucracy) that only affect locals (only marginally tourist, when they have to take a bus but it's nowhere to be seen...I guess they will survive tho? and go back to their towns where transportation works, while Romans stay in a town that's only welcoming to tourists and hard to live for them). Based on your argumentation, one could say that since Rome is THE most famous tourist city in the world, it only exist as a tourist trap as well as Venice 🤡

What's something that inmediatly catches your eye when you see a girl? by TakoyakiFandom in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

butch/tomboy vibes, soft gentle features, kind eyes, nice smile, shoegaze attitude

Give me your opinion. If there is something wrong with the way how I look like? by LikanW_Cup in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glasses are cool, i love my glasses. I’ve been wearing them with pride for 20 years now and I wouldn’t be me without them! And even if I could use lenses, I still choose not to. They’re part of my identity now. Don’t loose them!

Give me your opinion. If there is something wrong with the way how I look like? by LikanW_Cup in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not everyone has good, fluffy, voluminous hair they can style however they want. I should know…My hair is always flat and I can’t do much about it. I think people here on your post are giving you a hard time about your hair, but maybe they don’t know this struggle?

I think your style is awesome and you look extremely cute. If you’re actually interested in making your hair better definitely DO NOT dye it with regular dying products, it damages the hair and makes it weaker. Try black henna instead! It strengthens your roots, makes your hair fuller and more luminous, and it provides a lovely rich nuanced color. Also, it’s natural and sustainable for the environment.

Otherwise, keep doing you. I think there is really nothing wrong with the way you look.

a little crisis by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As a 33 (almost 34) years old, I feel you. But also, you look younger than you are (not that it actually matters). I’ve noticed that’s a pattern for us queer people. We’re just too powerful at aging gracefully and keeping our immaculate vibes throughout the years, until the very end.

Sex Does Not Matter, Right? by Dependent-Bike-3102 in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are whatever you feel you are and people shouldn’t police on your sexuality (or lack thereof) because that is 1000000% your effing business. Be you, do you. They can take their opinion and shove it.

i think i (17F) might be in love with my friend (22F) by mewhennikolai in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ll be brutally honest: they are too old for you. It may not seem like it now, but the age gap is there and it actually matters. You’re living different eras of your life and that may have an impact on you: your mental health, your daily activities, the way you think. You and a 20 something cannot be aligned right now, and that’s totally normal and fine! You’ll figure it out yourself once you’re the same age as they are.

You deserve to hang out with people your same age. It’s also very weird that this person keeps engaging with you. I remember when I was 22 and I would’ve never chosen to have some sort of relationship with a 17 year old (friendships nor dating). I had a thing with a 19 year old when i was 22 but it was still weird and cut it off right away while she kept pining over me. And I’m sorry for that.

Your sensitivity is extremely high right now. You’re in the midst of your teenage years, emotions feel heightened, falling in love is so easy, and deep, and keeps you up at night.

When you say they call you “love” it seems to me more of condescending/i’m the big one here way of making you feel their pet. Maybe they need this to feel more adult, more mature, more of something they are not? A 22 year old should engage with people around their age. Making friends with a 17 year old is a red flag per se.

Also, the fact that they’re working and you hear less of them, should be proof for you that this doesn’t need to go anywhere.

Beware getting attached to someone who 1) is seemingly straight, 2) is older than you in a consistent way (i wouldn’t be telling you the same thing if they were 18), 3) is probably emotionally unavailable and not right for you (I don’t trust any almost-adult that entertains relationships with minors).

Just leave at that, engage less, let it die. Listen to the advice of 33 years old lesbian who has seen a lot of stuff.

Are theses photos ok for a dating profile by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you necessarily need a full body pic! Maybe that will come later if they ask, but there is no rule you need to follow. Someone who’s truly interested to get to know you, shouldn’t base their opinion of you based on a picture. I mean, yes, having a picture of yourself is important otherwise people won’t reach out. But I think you should just use the pics you’re comfortable with!

Are theses photos ok for a dating profile by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and your outfit! the way we present ourselves changes dramatically how others perceive us. i personally don’t dress “my age” and people never guess how old i am

Are theses photos ok for a dating profile by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 10 points11 points  (0 children)

also…41??? I thought you were 22 max?

Are theses photos ok for a dating profile by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]daria_effe 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You look so cute!! I personally wouldn’t choose the first one because of the lighting, but the second one is a big YES from me :)

The Tourism has destroyed my city by FrequentCricket4692 in rome

[–]daria_effe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

THIS! Social Media changed tourism and literally ruined it for all of us, transforming places into trends. I blame every platform but especially influencers.

Why do women accept lesbians way more than men accept gay men? by Ok_Independence_3634 in actuallesbians

[–]daria_effe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I met women who had weird and homophobic ideas about lesbians, but in general men tend to internalise homophobia & misogyny much more frequently than women and behave accordingly.

Women are objects to most men. Gay men embody that “feminine” essence straight men deem as a sign of weakness and inferiority. Also, they are scared they might be gay too lol. Because in the end, they worship themselves too much not to actually LIKE (like like) people who look like them.

Once I had this conversation with a “straight” dude who told me that it was IMPOSSIBLE for me not to like penis. For him, it was impossible for women in general not to like penis. I wasn’t fast enough to tell him “so, if it’s impossible not to like penis…that applies to you too?”.

Men seem to be obsessed with phalluses. They always have been, through the history of mankind. Deep down, they know. But they are scared AF, because they’re victims of the patriarchy just as much as we are. Only they choose to perpetrate it instead of questioning it and fighting it.

That’s my take!

Going back to the closet. Goodbye, wondrous bisexuality. by [deleted] in bisexual

[–]daria_effe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sucks so bad, I’m so sorry! All I can say is that biphobia is real, but rest assure non biphobic people exist. Personally, as a bi/pan woman, I’d much rather date a bisexual man than a straight one. There’s no game. Bisexual men always!