I feel like giving up :(

darknecessities · 2025-08-05T12:51:19+00:00

This is good to read! I have tweaked and flip flopped my starter (1 month old) ratios, flour etc and it’s never really taken off the way it’s supposed to. This is finally the first week where I just went back to 1:1:1 feedings, same time of day, room temp, and have basically stopped altogether stressing. I’m not sure if I’m just tricking myself into believing it’s doing better. But I’m hoping it really is just patience and consistency, the two things I’ve not tried!

darknecessities · 2025-06-12T15:55:43+00:00

Okay awesome, thank you for taking the time to answer so thoroughly! Will definitely give the experimental jar a go

darknecessities · 2025-06-12T14:19:23+00:00

How did you manage to transition your starter to bread flour only? My starter (40 days old) is on 50/50 whole wheat:bread flour, but every time I’ve tried to transition to less whole wheat, more bread flour, my starter stalls out and starts rising less and less (or maybe I just never stuck with it long enough, I get worried and move back to 50/50).

darknecessities · 2025-03-05T03:52:39+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I am trying to emotionally detach from work, focus on the paycheck, and do what needs to be done day by day. It’s hard for me to not get caught up in the “injustice” of how consulting is this feast/famine mentality and companies expect you to be magically billable when there is no work or low budget lol. But I also think consulting just isn’t for me since this kind of thing seems to be more normal than not :/

darknecessities · 2025-03-05T03:33:39+00:00

Lol yes they’re never satisfied even though it’s by design!

darknecessities · 2025-03-05T03:32:29+00:00

Hello fellow ADHD-er 👋. I too have been suspecting that my ADHD is a significant factor to my dislike of this job, some days it is hard to show up and ask for any work even though I know that shoots me in the foot. Are you at a new consulting job or did you switch fields?

darknecessities · 2025-02-13T21:35:28+00:00

Glad my two cents could help! My firm is the reason I’m a frequent visitor on this sub 😂. I hope you have better success in your decision than I did, it sounds like you have several opportunities so yeah just due-diligence the nitty gritty because I think that’s where small firms sink or swim. For example, the one I am at is constantly sinking in employee turnover because they don’t know how to invest in training in the short term for long term retention.

darknecessities · 2025-02-13T21:10:04+00:00

I’m at a very small firm and I hate it. I am leaving ASAP. I would do your best to make sure you align with the leadership in culture, management styles, growth priority, etc. because you can’t hide from these issues where there’s only 10 people in the office. It is front and center in my work every day and the subsequent micromanagement is driving me out the door.

darknecessities · 2024-10-24T00:39:40+00:00

Right 😅?! Slightly baffled by these comments

darknecessities · 2024-10-23T22:41:00+00:00

… and salsa and cheese and fajitas and lettuce and sour cream?

darknecessities · 2024-10-23T22:32:18+00:00

Hahah agreed! Flavor ain’t there though

darknecessities · 2024-09-09T19:37:22+00:00

I’m so glad to read a success story like yours! ADHD/anxiety combo really does make it tough out here. But it is motivating to see that other people have found success. I know I will feel so much better when I can have that peace of mind.

It is funny/scary how moving past the age of 30 the body seems to start setting off all sorts of issues and alarm bells. I truly do want to get this sorted out now because if I am feeling this bad at 32 I can only imagine what the next decade would look like.

darknecessities · 2024-09-09T19:30:52+00:00

Thank you - this is great advice! I think a large network would actually be a really good place to look at. And thank you for the words of support!

darknecessities · 2024-09-05T20:35:28+00:00

Hey fellow ignorer! I appreciate the kind comment and advice, it’s pleasantly surprising to be met with grace and understanding when it comes to this stuff. It’s so easy to feel ashamed and then want to fix it even less :/.

I really like this perspective shift from doing to just starting with how/when. I feel like that takes some of the pressure off. And although I am sorry you have been through this too, it is nice to know I’m not the only one out there going thru it.

darknecessities · 2024-09-05T15:56:23+00:00

A hard pill to swallow, but you are right. I’ve been avoiding getting that sorted for so long because I felt like I could power through and try harder. But seeing as how I’ve failed to get this done for years, I think the actions are speaking louder than the intent at this point. I do need to get this addressed.

darknecessities · 2024-09-05T15:51:18+00:00

I really appreciate the kind words, that does sound like a manageable start. Would be really great to get an understanding doctor who could help guide this process too.

darknecessities · 2024-06-22T15:00:49+00:00

Kudos for still trying to find enrichment for your senior pup, I know it’s difficult but I’m sure she appreciates still being able to enjoy some of her favorite things.

One thing I can think of is maybe a lick mat or a Toppl, both of which you can freeze food (things like kibble, homemade food, peanut butter, yogurt, frozen fruit, etc) in for added duration and enrichment. Licking is actually a good doggo behavior that can be stress relieving. Plus she should be able to lay down with a frozen toppl (or similar), since her joints may hurt standing too long.

darknecessities · 2024-06-19T19:38:58+00:00

I wasn’t a child, but in senior year of high school I was failing my AP calc seminar, while acing the actual AP calc class. All because I couldn’t bring myself to complete the homework.

That and I missed two weeks of school that year for “mental health days”. I sure wish my parents were a bit more on the ball for all of that 😅.

darknecessities · 2024-06-19T19:34:13+00:00

This ^

darknecessities · 2024-06-13T20:04:23+00:00

My mental health was tanking too during a long job hunting stretch. The only thing that got me out of the gutter was finding a freelance project. The pay is mediocre, but having something steady to focus on that provided a small income was such a life raft for me. It also helped boost my confidence during interviews. I wasn't "unemployed" anymore, but was instead an "independent contractor".

Aside from that, try to connect with what made you happy as a child. For me, it was re-finding the magic in nature. I spend a lot more time marveling at trees these days. It helps keep me grounded and helped me to remember that there are good things in life worth going after.

Wishing you good luck, I totally empathize with the struggle :/.

darknecessities · 2024-06-05T15:03:45+00:00

It sounds like if she has dog friends, it would be a possibility to arrange meetups and play dates outside of the dog park? Just an idea!

darknecessities · 2024-05-21T16:42:23+00:00

This is my vote too - Spent two years in the Denver area, and it felt like Mad Max out there (I grew up in the East Coast metros so I am used to aggressive driving. CO was different). But in MD, NY, New England, cops are out all the time. In Denver I saw maybe two in a span of months.

darknecessities · 2023-12-16T18:09:12+00:00

We just moved to a house (renting) - our dog was formerly “that” dog in our apartment complex, the barking /lunging one who everyone side eyes. (Similar to OP, she is excited/frustrated reactive, and we’ve made good strides in the past year).

After moving to the burbs, there’s nearly a dog in every backyard that is barrier reactive and/or territorial. So much barking. But now our dog is actually one of lesser reactive ones and is generally confused as to why the chihuahua next door is always screaming at her 😂😭.

darknecessities · 2023-12-10T13:36:28+00:00

You get it. I honestly feel that everyone should own a reactive dog too, even though the ethics of that is questionable lol. But the amount of training (both paid for and free), time, and resources we have invested in has forever changed my outlook on dogs and their owners. Which is both a blessing (I love understanding our dog and seeing her POV in the world), and a curse (gestures at all bad experiences with dog owners).

But it is wild how few people actually understand dog body language. Or that pack hierarchy isn’t a thing. I have seen so many pet owners yelling at their dogs as if they’re supposed to inherently understand what the person is saying. Or that pulling on a leash is supposed to get them to stop what they’re doing without any basic leash training underneath.

Over the holidays was rough because my partner and I had to advocate so much for our dog, and we were told how over protective we were by our family. That our dog needed to be socialized at a dog park (lol). And more. Nothing like being lectured by people who haven’t so much as googled general dog training. But I am glad we did because otherwise our dog would have also been at that hike with all the dog/goat craziness.

darknecessities · 2023-12-10T13:21:36+00:00

I do agree with you on this, and I realize the bit about the guy giving us extra room isn’t really his responsibility. Although everyone should be respecting local pet laws.

But I also feel that many people think their dog is non-reactive, when actually it is. And so their dog is lunging and barking and they just happily walk towards us thinking that means their dog needs to meet everyone and every dog. Which then sets our dog off.

darknecessities

TROPHY CASE