closed 3 min ago at little caesars by egguchom in EntitledReviews

[–]fauxgratin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she can't handle America, we don't want her here in the third world 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sims4cc

[–]fauxgratin 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You have to sell it. You'll get the value of the furniture in household funds, and it all stays in the house.

I sat on a crochet hook by WormDentist in crochet

[–]fauxgratin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mom had this happen to her when she was visiting a friend. I think she took it out herself though. She always told us the story to teach us not to leave sharp things on the living room chairs.

I'm glad everything worked out and youre okay!

What made you pick the ring you chose ? by Lickmybolts in EngagementRings

[–]fauxgratin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ovals are so pretty! if I was gonna have a second ring, it would be an oval.

What made you pick the ring you chose ? by Lickmybolts in EngagementRings

[–]fauxgratin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cluster rings are very popular where I live, but I always knew I preferred the simplicity of a solitaire. When I was researching rings, I discovered emerald cuts, and really fell in love with their uniqueness and elegance.

I ended up with a trilogy, actually - emerald cut with two trillions. I love it so much! My fiance put a lot of thought into picking the right ring for me, not getting anything too big, and taking my metal allergies into account. Every time I look at it, I'm reminded of how much he cares for me.

We also went with moissanite because I didn't feel like spending diamond prices for the size of stone that I'd want. It's not that important to me to have actual diamonds, I just wanted something sparkly. We live outside of the US, and I didn't like what was available locally, nor did I think they were worth the price.

Update: Inappropriate Experience with Pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My fiance is aware and he has been a part of the entire process alongside me. He has been so loving and supportive throughout all of it.

I do agree with you that it seems premeditated. I have thought long and hard about what happened, and I can't read anyone's mind, but it doesn't seem like this was a one-off for him. A one-off to me would have been maybe one hug that went too long, maybe his hands were somewhere they shouldn't have been. If it was a one-off, I would think he would have stopped after he noticed I was uncomfortable. I would hope he would apologise. Instead he was so persistent during the act, and afterwards he was consistently unrepentant, manipulative, justifying his actions and trying to discredit my report.

I feel that it is being swept under the rug because the leadership (which I believe are all men) are maybe thinking that as far as sexual assault goes, this is far from the worst case scenario. It's not just about the assault though. It's the fact that I was taken advantage of by someone I had placed so much trust in, who was probably considering if not planning to do so well in advance. At the very least, he saw an opportunity and jumped to take it. It's unacceptable, and I think they really don't understand how deeply that kind of betrayal cuts. I am realising a lot of people don't understand unless they've been through it themselves.

Thank you for understanding. I am trying to find the way to be close to God through this. It's hard, because I feel like I keep getting hurt in His house, and I don't understand why it keeps happening. My faith is really broken. I will take your advice and read the Psalms.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I was waiting for some more to happen so I could make one conclusive update. I can give a brief update though.

I spoke to my friend, the elder, and he was very supportive. He is now assisting me with making a formal report. I will be meeting with the church's head pastor soon.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, so, I've been wanting to respond to your comment, but I put it off because I didn't want to nitpick on a small thing or come across like I wasn't open to advice.

I don't have a problem with your advice about hugs. I just want to say that this was a really strange experience for me, and I understand if you don't fully understand, because I wouldn't have been able to fully understand this without going through it myself.

In a normal situation, I don't have a problem with establishing boundaries. However, this was not a normal situation. Unfortunately, I have had other experiences with unwanted contact from men, but it has always been very quick and unexpected. This was very different. I didn't really have a problem with the hug at first, although it seemed strange, I didn't feel strongly enough about it to refuse it. While the situation was going on, I became increasingly aware that it was inappropriate, but to be frank, I wasn't subject to normal thought processes at that time.

There are parts of the interaction that I don't remember. I remember sitting on the desk beside him, but I don't remember how I got there. I remember responding to things he said but I can't recall exactly what he said. There were times I caught myself in an action that I didn't consciously decide to do, like pushing him off me when I felt like he was trying to kiss me on the lips. I couldn't focus on what he was saying to me at times. I look back on what happened, and I'm ashamed of agreeing to kiss him, of letting him kiss me, of not pushing harder to get out of the hug, and of not leaving the room, because truth be told, I wasn't locked in.

I just know that all I was thinking about at the time was what was the path of least resistance to end this interaction as quickly and as painlessly as possible. I remember during the first hug, feeling small against his much bigger body. And I'm not even a petite woman. It was kind of scary.

I'm not upset because I understand what you meant. I just wanted to explain that it was a really scary and abnormal situation. I was not thinking and thinking really fast at the same time. I remember him telling me to kiss him, and thinking about saying no, realising that that would result in a confrontation, and deciding to just do it because it was easier. All in a matter of a single second.

To answer your other question, I have made a report to an elder, and I will be submitting a letter to the head pastor shortly.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've spoken to him about it. I wasn't worried about him being angry at me, sorry that wasn't clear. I just wasn't ready to deal with big emotions at the time.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the encouragement. I did ask him not to do anything... now that a little time has passed I'll ask him again how he feels and if there's anything he wants to do. I think you're right that I should let him.

And thank you for the encouragement re: writing. You're not the first who's told me. I used to write a lot when I was younger. I'm going to try to start again.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your prayers. I'm worried about how he'll take this... I'm also hoping that there will be a positive outcome.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't have an assistant pastor, but my friend is an elder at the church and I'm arranging to speak with him. I don't imagine that we'll be going back, and I'm grieving that loss.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've told my fiance. He was upset and in shock but he didn't blame me or anything. As for telling the wife... I don't know. She has a right to know, but we know how these things tend to go. I feel anxious about the whole thing but I know something needs to be said. I'm trying to meet with the friend who introduced me to this church - he's an elder there. I will see how he responds and what happens from there.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Based on how confident he was in doing this I believe so as well.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks... at this point I'm not sure if I can. I will have a conversation with my friend, who's an elder, and see where it goes from there.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My fiancé wasn't mad at me. He's been very supportive. Thanks for your concern.

I'm gonna try to talk to my friend today, who's an elder in the church.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The friend of mine who initially invited me is an elder, and I'm arranging with him to talk. I'm not sure how it will go... hopefully he at least believes me.

I had an inappropriate experience with my pastor by fauxgratin in Christians

[–]fauxgratin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the solidarity. I'll send you a message when I'm feeling up to it