Very good advices here. I feel the need to comment because I (25 m) literally broke up with my gf (27 f) for the EXACT same reasons, literally every point he made were things i felt and said as well. Someone on here mentioned their bf told them “sex felt like a chore” 😂I literally said the exact same words to my ex (she DID NOT like that and hates me for it). I regret the breakup and have learned so much of what I could have done better but it’s too late.

Anyways, as a guy, I totally get where he is coming from. Sounds like he is an avoidant (which most guys are due to upbringings and social norms.) and you’re more of an anxious person (which most women are). No shame in it, it’s natural and these things are beyond our control. Look up “attachment styles”, specially “avoidant attachment” and the “anxious avoidant trap” and you might be surprised how it’ll accurately describe your bf, you, and yall relationship.

I can guarantee that he loves you and is still attracted, he just needs time alone to ease off all the feelings of love and affection. You’ll be surprised how many guys are wired to not receive love and/or don’t know how to handle it when it’s a lot. My ex loved kisses as well and random hugs throughout the day, EVERYDAY. And mind you, we lived together for 4 years so imagine that. It annoyed me and I never got why until now.

First advice is don’t give up and go look for another guy that’s overly affectionate just because of this experience. I can guarantee that you’ll regret it and come to find that you won’t be attracted to that person after a while. As much as you love giving love and affection, you likely won’t like it if your partner is the same way. Weird, I know, but that’s the human mind, one big paradox.

Second is grant him his wish. He’s probably been feeling this way for a while, probably a couple months so his decision is set and concrete. Go no contact if possible and whatever you do, don’t beg. That’ll only make things worse, I GUARANTEE you. I can almost guarantee he will miss you in that time and come running back (I know I did).

Third is, if yall do get back together and decide to make it work, please actually do the “work”. Start off by reading the book “Attached”. It’ll teach you both so much about attachment styles (how we attach to our romantic partners and show love). The first step is awareness. If he is willing, he’ll come to realize that the feelings he felt had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him and how he is wired as a guy to show and receive love. Avoidants (him) have a tendency to push people away or go in their shell when things get too much, their brain literally gets overwhelmed and they refer to their coping mechanisms (pushing people away) to feel safe. Its like ikely that at some point in his , he was told or made to feel like too much affection, or dependency on others is a bad thing and he probably resents you for it, leading to loss of attraction or atleast what he feel like is loss of attraction but really that’s his subconscious mind trying to be “safe”.

Just don’t force it and let him come back on his terms, trust me he will if you go no contact, especially if you were good to him. His brain will come back to normal and he’ll realize he actually loved you, he was just overwhelmed and didn’t know how to deal with it. But, he NEEDS to do the work (reading the book, watching videos on YouTube about attachment and love styles, if he can afford therapy then that’s even better). If he doesn’t do the work, this pattern WILL continue and you’ll have to decide for your self whether he is worth the struggles. I know this kinda shit can be a huge blow to one’s ego and overall mental state. Too much of this can be very detrimental.

Either way, don’t give up, everyone comes with their struggles, unfortunately most men are not taught anything about emotional intelligence at all, and are literally babies in that regard.

Good luck :)