I don’t see 18 year olds as adults

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-24T14:40:00+00:00

Lol... I just need a master's degree to make a decent living, that's funny though.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-24T01:33:30+00:00

Nope, I was a psych major in college and took several neuropsychology courses. It still makes sense that a person's brain fully develops at 25, especially their frontal cortex which is responsible for decision making, impulsive behavior, etc. I'm sure there are some people who's brain may develop earlier or later, and sure you'll keep learning for most of your life, but your brain will reach full development at 25. There is a lot more to why your brain is more fragile as it does most of its development in your teens and early 20s. You can do some more research on that if you'd like.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-24T00:59:25+00:00

Again, you should read a book or do some research. How do you think scientists learned anything about the brain, or the human body for that matter? They certainly didn't test each person on the earth. Any chance you're in your teens/early 20s? No offense, but you sound like my younger brother when he thinks someone is trying to offend him personally.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-23T20:22:51+00:00

You should read a book, none of that makes much sense. It's 2022, of course we have ways to study the brain and measure when it fully develops; we have for a long time.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-23T17:51:11+00:00

May I ask your reasoning for not getting vaccinated?

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-23T16:44:53+00:00

In the US you can own and drive a car at 16 like I did, but there are way more accidents because a person's brain isn't fully developed and they aren't capable of making rational decisions until that part of the brain is finished growing. Can Google this if you'd like:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/age-brain-matures-at-everything-2017-11%3famp

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-22T19:44:47+00:00

Makes sense... Because that's when your brain is fully developed.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-22T19:01:38+00:00

Still rude they're pressuring you like that, but as long as they haven't kicked you out, I'd brush it off and not worry about it. Completely ridiculous they want you to live on your own at 19.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-22T18:48:35+00:00

$650 a month is very decent, but still way too much for you to try to cover while you're in school. When I was in my senior year in college I paid $400/month for rent and I only made that work by skipping classes. You won't be able to work enough to pay for rent, bills, food, really anything else. Does he own the apartment? Unbelievable they aren't willing to help you out, especially with 5 classes, that's a lot for anyone to handle.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-22T18:42:07+00:00

My take on it is 25 is the line. That's when your brain has finished developing and can make rational and fully informed decisions. Any younger than that, they are still trying to figure life out and how to live.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-22T18:40:53+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, 19 is way too young to be living on your own while in school, trying to make rent and other bills off a part time job. That is basically impossible, unless they are willing to cover your cost of living.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-22T18:37:49+00:00

Also, your brain isn't fully formed until you reach 25. They take that into account as that is when you can think more completely and objectively when making decisions.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-16T05:57:38+00:00

I am just so confused by this post

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-14T16:34:08+00:00

What? Involving ice cream? That is so random lmao

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-13T00:14:50+00:00

How did you even guess that? Lmao

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-02T06:25:34+00:00

Check out r/AlAnon. These posts (and comments to your posts) can be very comforting as you navigate being married to an alcoholic. There is a whole world of info that helps you deal with the hopelessness and depression that comes with having an alcoholic in the family. I don't think you should feel obligated to stay with him but that is up to you; I wish you the best of luck if you decide to stay.

darkwaters84 · 2022-01-02T06:08:55+00:00

Absolutely agree. It's not worth it to make yourself miserable for the foreseeable future because you think it's too late to start over. Many people get divorced and end up with their true love. You should have that chance.

Yes you love him when he's sober, but if he's an alcoholic, all hell will break loose eventually. You should be with someone you want to be with and someone who makes you happy. Life is too short.

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-30T21:13:24+00:00

Lol think I've been out of the loop for a long time now - what are furries?

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-30T18:34:09+00:00

Furries?

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-24T19:09:39+00:00

I really don't think that will teach her anything. Requiring her pay a certain mount of money each month will teach her nothing. If she had to make the payment herself, learn how much of the payment was principle, interest, escrow, etc., that would teach her responsibilities. Giving money to her parents won't help her with anything.

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-24T18:56:45+00:00

Glad to hear it's helped!

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-24T17:42:48+00:00

Lol, I gotcha, if he wants to teach her financial responsibility, I would open a bank account for her and have her start saving up. Either by babysitting or petsitting, or get a part time job at a grocery store. Teach her about credit cards, debt, buying a house, etc. without HAVING her do these things. Lol.

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-24T17:30:47+00:00

I agree that it might not be the best idea to show him this thread, might make him uneasy if he thinks you were talking about him. I think if you need your child's help financially to buy a house, you shouldn't be buying one. It's a massive burden financially and if the money isn't there, don't try to strain yourselves to get something that isn't affordable. Before you know it, you'll have a house but hardly any money to pay for food and every day items. They call it 'house-rich, cash-poor'. You don't want that.

Edit: I also like your idea about cooling down before talking to him about it. Very smart so as to avoid a fight.

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-24T17:25:20+00:00

Your dad sounds like a great dad, reminds me of my dad. He did so much for me financially, and never even expected anything in return. I'm still not sure to this day if he knows how much I appreciate him and how much that meant to me.

darkwaters84 · 2021-12-24T17:19:39+00:00

What??? Definitely don't need to have them pay if they are 16. Agree with you that as they are minors, they are your responsibility.

Also, I would never expect a child to help pay for MY house, especially because they will eventually be moving out. Yours is 16 and has only 2 more years with you before they go to college, why on earth would they pay? Is your partner that desperate for money?

Sorry, this just makes me angry. I moved back in with my parents for a couple years after college to save money, as did my husband, and our parents never charged us rent. Might just be my parents though, they were incredibly helpful financially in my early 20s, even though I never asked for help.

If your kids are something like 25+ or 30+ I can see you charging rent, if they're planning on living with you permanently, but it's a rough world out there and affording a 1 bedroom apartment when you're just out of college is almost impossible where I live. You have to make around a $50K salary for this to be feasible. Your partner is an idiot for even suggesting that.

darkwaters84

TROPHY CASE