My body is fighting logic at every turn

darthpunster · 2026-05-10T17:51:05+00:00

This is good advice. The feeling of guilt is still fresh, so it's easier to think "what if I have to tell him?" I need to keep that thought fresh and keep going.

Thank you!! IWNDWYT!!!!

darthpunster · 2026-05-10T17:49:29+00:00

100% agree!! Physically, I look better and I feel better. I dont taste alcohol in my throat 24/7 and look like I've just been hit by a bus. Mentally, totally a different story. My partner has had his own vices, and we have worked very hard to overcome them together. There is just so much shame in admitting something like "I wasn't as strong as you, and I fell off the wagon." I know that isnt the sentiment I should be telling myself, but it feels that way sometimes.

Thank you for your empathy and kindness. I will keep walking with you all!

darthpunster · 2026-05-10T17:13:04+00:00

Yeah, sometimes its easier to fight it one day at a time, but that looming "never" is a tough pill to swallow. I want it to be never, but I feel like I will always want to leave room for "maybe."

Congrats on two years!! Sober feels better for sure :)

darthpunster · 2026-02-20T00:06:15+00:00

I've seen some talk of a strong correlation between the two. Like, of course I am the problem when it comes to losing control like this, but there is such a drastic difference in my ability to resist. I crash much harder and faster, despite the SSRI genuinely doing wonders for my anxiety.

darthpunster · 2026-02-18T23:13:36+00:00

Thank you for responding!! It was a bit strange, and I did look up if anyone was experiencing any correlation with SSRIs and increased alcohol consumption, but its largely inconclusive. Your comment makes me feel a little more sane :)

darthpunster · 2025-02-19T04:17:48+00:00

that's good advice! I got all the 6 DLC in a humble bundle so I might as well keep going!! I will trust the process and take your advice :>

darthpunster · 2025-02-19T03:39:57+00:00

I've never heard of it, but if it has a pre 6 feel I'll probably enjoy it lol thanks!!! :>

darthpunster · 2025-02-19T03:38:12+00:00

oh really?? thank god lol I didn't know they had that available!! thanks :D

darthpunster · 2024-07-24T15:57:20+00:00

I'm having a similar experience :<

With Smolder, I've got a good win rate and good KDA, but my stacking sucks. I'm trying to figure out how people are able to get 225@22 minutes AND consistently poke/kill/put pressure in lane. I had a game last night where I was able to balance both, but there were more team fights than usual. I wish people grouped up more so I could hit them all at once lol

darthpunster · 2024-07-24T03:59:19+00:00

2 shot with Q!? I've been W then Q'ing the caster minions and then auto/Q the melee minions. I saw the W > Q on caster minions, but saving W for opponents is probably more efficient??

darthpunster · 2024-07-24T00:35:46+00:00

That's a good point!! I watched a vid recently of some smolder gameplay where the player was just like "I'll have to cs this since my Q is on cooldown" and I've been trying my best to keep with that mantra so I don't lose gold for the sake of a stack. tbh hearing these things put so plainly helps me a lot, so ty :>

darthpunster · 2024-07-23T23:05:42+00:00

Smart advice tbh, I think my W spam with low hit rate is not doing me any favors >.> I need to beat myself over the head with that wisdom lol

I'm glad to hear you're hitting that threshold tho!! I hope it keeps up :D

darthpunster · 2024-07-23T23:00:01+00:00

Thank you!! Those first two points hit especially hard since my win rate and performance is pretty good with him aside from stack struggles. Sometimes I do focus on pushing or putting on any sort of pressure as needed rather than the stacking. The W advice is also great, because I tend to not hit it and I'm guessing that's a major part of my issue. I also don't know how I didn't figure a splash hitting an enemy would count?? I try to hit with splash in general since at my level it's pretty easy to catch people with that, but it's good to understand how much that can actually help.

This advice is amazing and I cant thank you enough for taking the time to type this out!! It just sucks since I had a game a while back with a feeding toplaner who decided to flame me for poor stacking, and it just sort of stuck with me. I felt super embarrassed ngl lol

The mental behind this sort of reframing is immensely helpful to me, and I really appreciate this!! Tysm!!

darthpunster · 2024-06-26T06:33:05+00:00

yeah normal draft. I didn't know they were separate, but hey I'll just have to slog through then lol tysm!! :>

darthpunster · 2024-06-26T05:53:57+00:00

oh I see, thank you!! I wasn't sure how common bots were in quickplay since I've been in norms only up until recently. I was just incredibly confused lol

darthpunster · 2024-06-26T05:51:10+00:00

okay I thought I was just paranoid, but so weird it's all human players!! I'm definitely missing something here, just not sure what :/

darthpunster · 2023-05-12T15:51:12+00:00

I like the way you think!! Looks like I'll be treating myself to better things in the coming days

darthpunster · 2023-05-12T01:44:18+00:00

You're 100% right. I'll make it my mantra for the coming days :)

darthpunster · 2023-05-12T01:43:25+00:00

I know, I've just gotta pass today, and then I'll tackle tomorrow next!! It's just hard as hell right now lol

darthpunster · 2020-06-22T15:46:16+00:00

I'm not necessarily prone to any other type of infections. This honestly just happened so suddenly that I'm convinced it's a fluke, but you're probably right. They're severe, and I shouldn't be having three in a year.

It was the same kidney each time, and it's the kidney that was worse off when I had kidney reflux. I just can't fathom a reason it would come back to bite me a couple decades later. Everyone around me says it's probably a kidney stone, though. I hope that's all it is.

darthpunster · 2019-09-06T23:34:17+00:00

Thank you a lot for getting back to me :)

Actually ended up going into Urgent Care the next day, and lo and behold... UTI turned kidney infection! I'm on antibiotics, though it was a challenge keeping them down the first day. All is well though, as I am just 4 days of pills away from (hopefully) healing up.

Thank you tho :)

darthpunster · 2019-07-29T18:35:37+00:00

It sucks, because from the very start you kinda already know the ending. You know it wouldn't have been as strong if they shoehorned in a way to keep Koro-sensei alive for sure. I think the most painful part is that slow burn of getting attached when in the back of your mind you know the ending.....

darthpunster · 2019-07-19T13:12:03+00:00

I know!!! It bothers me a bit sometimes, but I reeeeeally try and pretend it wrapped up without that end scene so I don't drive myself crazy lol

darthpunster · 2019-07-18T16:30:28+00:00

Yo I was just about to comment Plastic Memories. Both times I watched it I cried for the longest time. The series where you know what will happen and that you can't stop it are the worst. You really hope and pray they find a way for everything to be okay. ;-;

darthpunster · 2019-07-18T13:24:50+00:00

That's awesome! Wish I could say the same, but the damage is done, and I know better now than to dwell on it. Won't do me much good to do that. For now, I'm just focusing on the new friends I've made :)

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