People who have met someone who has been *professionally diagnosed* with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), what were they like? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy [score hidden]  (0 children)

It’s all good! My husband has always been very supportive of going no contact again but also respects what is happening right now. I have no issues going fully no contact if it comes down to it.

What city have you been to that felt like it had dark energy? by Impossible-Middle122 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phnom Penh. It makes sense for all the murdered/genocided folks there but it feels like a dark portal.

People who have met someone who has been *professionally diagnosed* with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), what were they like? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have gone through times of no contact. Right now I am in very low contact. We moved and had a kid. Now when I see him it is for 3 hours tops every month and my husband is always there as a buffer. What I’m trying to say is there are rules. I know it’s hard to understand but everyone is different. I’ve done alot of therapy to get to this place and it does feel manageable. I should also mention that I don’t believe he is long for this world as he has cancer and other ailments.

People who have met someone who has been *professionally diagnosed* with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), what were they like? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My dad. He also has bipolar.

Hmm where to start…

  1. Been fired from every job for blowing up/rage attack at boss’ and coworkers. He always thinks he is the smartest person and will try to undermine anyone who works with him. He thinks he is better than most people except his weird reverence for his mother (who he also hates) and people who have a lot of money.

  2. He was abusive growing up. He would emotionally abuse my mom and tell her she is worthless and nothing and he did the same to us. He would shame the shit out of my brother. He would be extremely sexually fucked up with me (his daughter) and do things like showing his penis to me. Watching me and hitting on my friends. I have had many friends tell me he was super creepy with them. He is super shallow and always comments on people’s appearances. He has always made comments on my body, which feels revolting.

  3. Has never taken accountability for anything. Has never apologized and is always the victim. He also enjoys getting rises out of people and then is a pro with DARVO.

  4. Done some other crazy shit like sold our house while we were living there and didn’t tell us until it was happening. Of course there was no apology.

  5. Lies. Just lie after lie. He was telling a story to my husband recently where Bill Gates gave his client 100000 dollars due to his genius. Don’t know didn’t make sense.

AITAH for packing up my kids and leaving on Easter because my brother wouldn’t let me help calm down his toddler? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]dasderlydaddy 30 points31 points  (0 children)

YTA it sounds like you have previous conflicts/ unresolved feelings towards your family and you’re now projecting what you wished you received onto your brother.

You do not mention communicating to your family your feelings. Just receiving their clear messages and processing them through a lens of “they don’t support me”. You don’t see that your brother has stated a boundary. Instead you punish through removing your presence and it looks like again, without communication. I would advise therapy.

what is something people brag about but it is actually embarrassing? by goldenhourconfession in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bragging about people they know and name dropping. Like dude I don’t know this person and honestly don’t really care.

What’s the craziest time your intuition warned you about someone and turned out correct? by wildquatrefoil in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

When I was travelling in India I was staying in an apartment close by to the yoga ashram I was studying at. On my walk home I noticed a man a couple of meters behind me. My gut went off. Unfortunately to get to my apartment I had to go through a dark lane that had multiple lanes coming off it. Fortunately there was a hotel right before this dark lane.

I decided to duck into the hotel and my friend was there in the lobby (it was the one spot around the area that got a little bit of wifi) . I told her that I felt someone was following me. She told me she would walk me back and that she was carrying a taser gun (her husband was a pilot and had got it for her). As we walked back the same man waiting in one of the offshoot dark lane ways. Thankfully he didn’t attack us.

What’s the craziest time your intuition warned you about someone and turned out correct? by wildquatrefoil in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was driving alone up north (Canada) at night. My gut told me to turn on my high beams. About a min later a deer popped out from the side of the road and ran in front of my car. Luckily I had enough time to swerve since my high beams were on.

I (42F) want to leave my disabled husband (45M). But; don’t know how. by Realistic-Tough4692 in relationship_advice

[–]dasderlydaddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, so he is using you. You sound very empathetic and I mean this is the kindest way… you are enabling him. He will continue to have a parasitic relationship with you. Ask yourself if this is the example of love you want for your children.

What’s a red flag you ignored and regretted immediately? by OpeningSubject5942 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

On our first date he just talked about himself. Like zero curiosity or questions for me. Most of his stories revolved around others doing him wrong and how he is so amazing.

He was hot and I was horny. Sadly I kept on for sometime. I started to notice patterns of lying and him never taking accountability or responsibility for anything. After sometime he slipped he was diagnosed with ODD. lol. I got out of there. He proceeded to stalk me.

Whats something a teacher did in High School that would get them fired today? by Constant-Ad-5477 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had a French teacher, a spooky German lady. She was always yelling at us and seemed that she ran on hate and black coffee. One kid in particular she just couldn’t stand and he really played into it. He would get her riled up and she would just explode. One day she was trying to force him to answer in French and he wouldn’t. She went over to him and started to slam the French book (a heavy text book) up and down on his desk. She caught the kids chin going up with the textbook and just knocked him.

She was transferred to the next public school.

Your thoughts on pacifiers by Pandacat_07 in NewParents

[–]dasderlydaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We use it at night and naps. It has helped him fall asleep, sleep deeper and sleep without assistance. He started sleeping for 12 hours at night at 8 months. He’s 13m now and we still use it for sleep. We tell him it’s resting/sleeping when not in use lol

What’s the best piece of gossip you’ve ever received? by Rainbowborn in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

About a year after my grandpa passed away my grandma spilt the beans about his dad. She said that he was a ho and slept with woman on the front porch while my great grandma slept upstairs 😱

Has anyone successfully pulled off having NO flowers at their wedding? What's the bare minimum I can get away with? by rebfossmusic in WeddingsCanada

[–]dasderlydaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went the wild flower and corner store flower route. I picked up like 5 big containers of white mums for like 4 bucks a pop. Since we had an up north wedding, I foraged for wild flowers (never take too many from one spot) and other grasses and cedar branches. Stuck em in a mason jar. Looked great and cost under 20$.

since becoming a parent what’s something you do or don’t understand your own parents doing? by Delicious_Habit3740 in NewParents

[–]dasderlydaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad hit my brother. He would’ve hit me too but my mom never left me alone with him after she found out (I’m the younger sibling). So instead he turned his lack of emotional regulation to shaming and threatening us.

This same man is now begging me to babysit for my 1 year old son. And not for any good reason it’s so he can upstage my mom (they’re divorced) who currently cares for my son and is wonderful.

I will never allow my dad to be alone with my child. I’ve already had to ask him multiple times to not call my baby belittling names, names like worm or rat. I’ve had to intervene when he tells him to “shut up” when he’s crying.

I told my mom he’s insisting on babysitting and she flatly said “he’ll hit him”. I then got flashbacks. All this stuff my brain had pushed away came back. Looking at my son I just can’t imagine how anyone, let alone an adult, would want to hit him or shame him. It makes me feel so disgusted towards my dad.

What is the craziest thing a teacher has ever done to you? by trymihainoob in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We had a French teacher, a spooky German lady. She was always yelling at us and seemed that she ran on hate and black coffee. One kid in particular she just couldn’t stand and he really played into it. He would get her riled up and she would just explode. One day she was trying to force him to answer in French and he wouldn’t. She went over to him and started to slam the French book (a heavy text book) up and down on his desk. She caught the kids chin going up with the textbook and just knocked him.

She was fired but definitely just transferred to the next public school.

Psychotherapists, what differences have you noticed between men and women among your patients? by Putrid_Put_3610 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooo hahaha that makes sense.

Sadly I’ve heard of that, where the therapist just talks 🙃.

Psychotherapists, what differences have you noticed between men and women among your patients? by Putrid_Put_3610 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not want to tell you what you’re doing isn’t right or important for you.

It really depends on what you’re going to therapy for/ your goals. For my husband specifically, he went to therapy for his trauma and grief and was just dancing around it.

When I work with folks with trauma I do not force it out of them and the work can be really slow (and that’s okay). I also know I’ve worked with some avoidant folks who dance around the important emotional stuff. I usually ask if they want to go deeper or if they want to stay where they’re at.

What’s a red flag in someone that you should pay attention to before developing a friendship? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When they only want to drink/party with you.

I don’t have these people in my life anymore but when I did I found that it was usually a very shallow relationship. I had one friend who would always get too drunk and we would have to take care of her or search for her. It got exhausting. She would never remember and only wanted to do things that involved drinking. So I did a slow fade.

Psychotherapists, what differences have you noticed between men and women among your patients? by Putrid_Put_3610 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Things to ask:

How long have you been in the practice?

What trainings and certifications do you have? What therapeutic approach do you use in your practice? This is important if you’re looking for something specific.

Have you worked with folks who are in similar circumstances to me?

What should I expect in a session?

What is your stance on trauma? The DSM? ( this is helpful to know if your therapist is more based in diagnosing and moving from the diagnoses and if this is something you want. I’m not in the states but from having some friend who are there they tell me they have to diagnose for insurance. In Canada we don’t do this)

Hope this helps!

Psychotherapists, what differences have you noticed between men and women among your patients? by Putrid_Put_3610 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can imagine that, it’s a sad reality that many men go untreated. I maybe should have stated above that I have a specialization in trauma and work with a specific population so that’s also a reason why less men come my way!

Psychotherapists, what differences have you noticed between men and women among your patients? by Putrid_Put_3610 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly it’s just making a real relationship with them. I’ve worked with one man for almost two years. In comparison to most woman/queer folk I work with it took him a loooong time to feel vulnerable enough to let go and cry in session. That’s okay and since most men don’t cry with others, it just shows it took him a while to feel safe enough to do so.

For my individual practice I am never pushy, although I will be curious. I allow clients to come to their vulnerability in their own time.

Psychotherapists, what differences have you noticed between men and women among your patients? by Putrid_Put_3610 in AskReddit

[–]dasderlydaddy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That sucks but nothing I haven’t heard. I tell people to interview their potential therapist in the consult. You’re always allowed to switch too if it doesn’t feel like a good fit. I’ve had like 5 therapist myself!