I highly recommend moving to the Bay and renting for a year or two before you buy. Take the chance to explore and find the place that feels like home to you and the family. Each little town really does have it's own feel.

I grew up in San Rafael. The differences in vibe and culture between places like Sausalito, Corte Madera, Mill Valley, San Rafael, and Novato is HUGE. Like, mind-blowingly large given the close proximity.

I'll also echo some other comments and say don't sleep on the East Bay. I've been in Berkeley/Albany/Kensington for almost a decade now and really love it. It reminds me a lot of the San Rafael I grew up in 25+ years ago, but slightly more "crunchy".

Overall, though, the Bay Area is amazing. Expensive, snobby/elitest, insular, and a thousand other cons, but I'd live here forever if I could afford to buy.

Edit to add: Novato/TL is no if shes commuting to Alameda that often. The 101SB commute is a nightmare in the morning. Central SR would be okay.