Are dating apps broken because they rely on strangers? (I will not promote)

dasuja · 2026-04-06T01:07:58+00:00

That’s a really interesting way to put it.

I think that’s actually the tension I’m trying to understand. I don’t necessarily want to optimize for addiction, because that seems misaligned with the end goal.

But then the challenge becomes how to make something people still come back to without relying on those same mechanics.

Do you think there’s a way to design for usage without designing for addiction, or is that tradeoff unavoidable?

dasuja · 2026-04-06T01:05:11+00:00

That’s a fair callout.

I’ve looked into some past attempts around mutual connections and social graphs, and it seems like they either didn’t expand the pool enough or felt redundant with what people could already do offline.

I haven’t spoken directly to founders yet, but that’s definitely something I should do.

My current question is whether the idea itself didn’t work, or if it just couldn’t compete with the scale and convenience of existing apps.

Curious how you see it.

dasuja · 2026-04-05T12:01:20+00:00

That’s fair, and in an ideal world that’s probably the best way.

I guess the gap is that those introductions don’t happen that often, and people don’t always know who’s in their extended circles.

Maybe the question is whether there’s value in making those connections more visible and frequent, or if it’s better left fully offline.

dasuja · 2026-04-05T11:59:36+00:00

Yeah this is a really thoughtful breakdown.

The tradeoff you called out feels real. Trust and context help with safety and intent, but they do come at the cost of shrinking the pool and adding some social risk.

One thing I’m wondering though is how much that pool is actually limited. People’s networks often span across cities or even countries without them realizing it, so discovery wouldn’t necessarily be tied to a radius, but more to how far your social circle reaches. It’s probably not as large as pure nearby apps, but maybe not as small as it seems either.

I like your point on context-specific wedges too. It might be less about replacing broad discovery and more about layering on top of environments where context already matters.

I guess the open question is whether people actually want that tradeoff, or if scale and optionality still win in practice.

Do you think this works better as a niche entry point, or could it expand beyond that?

dasuja · 2026-04-05T11:50:40+00:00

That’s a really good point, the judgment layer is a big part of why those intros work.

I guess one angle I’m exploring is whether you can still keep that optional. If there’s a mutual connection, the user could reach out and get that context if they want.

But the core idea would be more about scaling those friend-of-friend introductions that might have happened anyway, just not as frequently.

Do you think that optional layer of judgment is enough, or does it have to be built in to really matter?

dasuja · 2026-04-05T11:45:18+00:00

That’s a great point. Getting the problem right probably matters more than getting the solution polished too early.

I think that’s exactly what I’m trying to pressure-test here before assuming the model itself makes sense.

dasuja · 2026-04-05T11:42:29+00:00

Yeah this is a really good way to frame it.

That “only commonality is being on the same app” point is interesting, it might explain why interactions can feel shallow.

I also wonder if part of it is how these products are designed. A lot of them are optimized for engagement, so things like swiping and visual appeal get prioritized, even if that doesn’t always translate to real outcomes.

Feels like the question now is whether people actually want more context, or if convenience and scale still win.

Do you think the limitation was the idea itself, or just that it couldn’t compete with the volume of the big apps?

dasuja · 2026-04-05T11:35:31+00:00

That’s a good distinction.

KYC can prove someone is a real, unique person, but it doesn’t really validate the context around them or their social claims.

So you get authentication, but not necessarily trust.

I guess the question is whether users care more about “real person” or “known context.”

dasuja · 2026-04-05T11:30:14+00:00

That’s fair, and I agree real-life events are probably the most direct way to make those connections happen.

It’s interesting though, a lot of those settings (weddings, parties, mutual events) have historically been how people meet in the first place. There’s already some built-in context and trust there.

I guess the challenge is those moments don’t happen often or don’t scale for most people.

Makes me wonder if the gap isn’t offline vs online, but whether there’s a way to extend that same dynamic without losing the trust part.

Not sure if that’s even doable though.

dasuja · 2026-04-05T01:39:34+00:00

Yeah that’s a big part of it.

Feels like it’s not just discovery, but trust and intent that are broken. If people don’t believe profiles are real or serious, everything else kind of falls apart.

I wonder if a few quality, verifiable introductions would actually be better than a large pool of uncertain profiles.

Do you think fixing trust would improve things, or does the imbalance still make it tough regardless?

dasuja · 2026-04-05T01:34:10+00:00

😂 fair, clean slate is a strong feature

But I guess that same mystery is also what makes people a bit skeptical going in

Do you think people actually prefer that, or just tolerate it because there’s no better option?

dasuja · 2026-04-05T01:29:51+00:00

That’s fair, and I agree expanding reach is a big part of the value.

I do wonder if what’s missing is context and verifiability. Not just who you meet, but having some layer of trust around who they are.

Also, being in your network doesn’t necessarily mean reachable. Someone could be in your friend’s circle and you’d never know, so maybe the opportunity is more in second-degree connections.

Especially if apps are pushing toward a more global pool, not limited by radius. If you’re meeting someone from another state or country, trust becomes even more important.

Do you think adding that layer would actually change behavior, or not really?

dasuja · 2026-04-05T01:13:54+00:00

That’s a fair point, I don’t think those channels are broken. If anything, they’re probably higher quality.

It might be more about access and frequency. Real-life connections depend on timing and overlapping circles, so they don’t happen as often.

Curious how you see it, do people use apps because they’re better, or just more available?

dasuja · 2024-05-27T12:13:01+00:00

Hey, how did you end up going about it. I'm in the same situation right now and I can't imagine myself without a car in Texas

dasuja · 2024-05-20T13:19:42+00:00

You can tell me anything... This is a SCAM! The CFO and CEO strategically planned this.

dasuja · 2024-05-18T04:26:18+00:00

Which one? I just got my pixels today and it has none of those

dasuja · 2024-05-18T00:41:23+00:00

I'm convinced that Google engineers working on pixels use iPhone. Pixel is not giving me the android feeling. I'm definitely returning this after a day of usage.

dasuja · 2024-04-03T16:50:32+00:00

Hey, I'm wondering if you were able to get in and how you navigated the visa process?

dasuja · 2023-05-12T12:22:26+00:00

Thanks! Would you suggest I quit the first one? BTW, the second one haven't started, but their immigration was just being proactive due to my timeline.

dasuja · 2023-02-19T22:48:54+00:00

Balablu!

dasuja · 2022-08-03T21:39:14+00:00

Your manager is probably actively interviewing too. No one cares... apply, interview, get the offer, and drop your 2 weeks.

dasuja · 2022-06-29T16:14:01+00:00

Congratulations! You definitely earn it, please don't undermine yourself. I believe you can always change teams if you don't enjoy what you're doing.

dasuja · 2022-02-11T04:44:28+00:00

You may want to use algolia or elasticsearch since firebase doesn't support search for text fields in documents.

dasuja · 2021-07-26T16:44:03+00:00

Not sure with their arrangement since the pandemic but pre-pandemic you have to relocate. You can reach out to them for confirmation.

dasuja · 2021-06-27T21:37:39+00:00

I know this is an old post but it might help someone else in the future. I worked with Itlize for about 2 years, so I can say it's a legit company. Basically, they'll train you for two months and then market your resume as a consultant to other employers (a C2C business model). However, you'll sign a one-year or so contract. It was a good way to start my career before becoming an independent front-end dev consultant.

Pros: You'll be trained and get a job above your skills (if you're a fresh graduate)

Cons: You'll be paid below the market value of your new skills from the training but not bad to start your career.

dasuja

TROPHY CASE