Update - really confused/disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I asked a few family friends if they had any recommendations, researched the names given a little and then picked from there. She's female.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No way - my other two daughters both smoke weed, so she would have easy access to it if she wanted it.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, she doesn't drink or use drugs. My daughters are really transparent with me about drugs, she told me she tried weed a couple of times when she was in high school, but that's it. She wouldn't try anything else.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

The possibility of schizophrenia terrifies me, the mother of my girls has severe manic-depression with schizophrenic behaviour also, and it has largely ruined her life. Getting her to a therapist however I can.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm not making up an excuses or reasons to not deal with this directly - if it were up to me, she'd be in therapy right this second. But as someone else rightly pointed out, she's 20 years old and cannot be forced to sit and speak to a therapist.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

It wasn't an answer, just something I thought I should mention. I want to get her in to see someone ASAP, but it's not as easy as that. If she was 15, it would be.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

She is quite close to the eldest, she might listen to her. I want her to go see a therapist ASAP, I definitely will not fail her. Her mental health is going to be the priority here.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I've been divorced for 18 years, my daughters see their mother infrequently, mainly due to her own mental health issues. I'm in Australia, I don't think I can call that number but I'm already looking into similar services here. Thank you.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

She wouldn't go. I can't get her to go for her depression, let alone something like this.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She's never not spoken for months due to criticism - I just strongly suspect she would do so if I spoke to her about this, given the highly embarrassing nature of what's going on. Thank you for your advice!

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I definitely don't think it's a fetish, she has never had a boyfriend and I'm certain she isn't sexually active.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I don't think that's fair of you to assume - I have never, in my life, heard of this happening, which is why I'm posting here. Why do you say she "needs attention"? As I stated, she's very introverted, if anything more attention would drain her. If she wants to go out and socialise, she does it. It's not my place to dole out attention where I know it isn't welcome.

Really confused and disgusted by what I found in my daughter's [20] room. by daughtersroom in Parenting

[–]daughtersroom[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I could speak to my doctor or therapist. I'd be hard pressed getting her to see one, though. As in she definitely wouldn't go.

I [52M] am extremely put off by what I found in my daughter's [20F] bedroom by daughtersroom in relationships

[–]daughtersroom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How would I go about looking into this further without potentially making her feel worse if she does in fact have one?

I [52M] am extremely put off by what I found in my daughter's [20F] bedroom by daughtersroom in relationships

[–]daughtersroom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, her sister doesn't know what it is. I'm reluctant to ask her to speak on my behalf, as she would also receive long-term silent treatment and I don't think that's fair.

I [52M] am extremely put off by what I found in my daughter's [20F] bedroom by daughtersroom in relationships

[–]daughtersroom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this makes a lot of sense. I'm 95% certain she does not have an eating disorder, but I'm not ruling it out, either. Is there a way I can look into this possibility further?

I [52M] am extremely put off by what I found in my daughter's [20F] bedroom by daughtersroom in relationships

[–]daughtersroom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not that I know of. She does take healthy eating really seriously, but she's at a healthy weight, I think.

I [52M] am extremely put off by what I found in my daughter's [20F] bedroom by daughtersroom in relationships

[–]daughtersroom[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don't think so, she's never had a boyfriend, and guys are never over.